Let's Check The T.V. Guide

It's only been two months but I am having cable installed as we speak. Nathan, the cable guy, is upstairs right now hooking everything up. I will finally be able to watch my new favorite comedy, The Family Guy. I am thinking right now about what my first show I watch will be on my new cable. I am going to have HBO, Cinemax, Showtime and two others of the movie premiere channels. Maybe I should wait until later tonight and find some riveting program on Cinemax. That should be my first show to watch. No? It shouldn't?
At least I will finally have Turner Classic Movies again. I have missed that channel. I also will enjoy being able to tune into basic channels without twisting the rabbit ears around and finding the right signal. Oh, it's going to be grand having cable again.

How May I Not Help You?

If Sandy allows it the following will be the topic of my next column:

Today, while searching for victims of my "man on the street" opinions, I was kicked out of Wal-Mart. I was leisurely passing along the aisles when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I was t-boned by a short, dark-haired guy in a blue uniform. Uh-oh, the fuzz. No, it wasn't the police. I wasn't killing anyone. It was an assistant manager named Chris.
Chris asked, "What are you doing here?"
I said, "I work for the Ennis Daily News and I am getting public opinions on different topics."
"Are you cleared for that sort of thing?" Chris asked.
Yeah, I checked in with NORAD. The generals gave me a level five clearance. This is what I wanted to say. Instead I came back with, "Yes, my editor and your store manager have an agreement that it is okay for me to do this."
"Well, I will need you to come up front," Chris demandingly said.
While on our way from houseware to the front of the store Chris asked what the topics were and I told him the war in Iraq, what people are doing for Independence Day and what they like about living in Ennis.
When we reached the front of the store Chris got on the horn to his boss and while he was doing that I struck up a conversation with the two employees who were standing near me. They were two nice ladies who knew what I was up to, because they read the newspaper, and asked what the questions were. One of them went off on the war and I asked to quote her on it. As I was writing down her answer Chris walked back and saw me at work again.
I could only respond with, "We were just talking."
Chris I don't think found me amusing. He told me he needed me to leave and I went off from there.
"What do you mean? I'm not selling anything. I'm just asking people questions. It's like me asking where the milk is or what the weather is like."
Chris' response was "I know but you don't have permission to do that today and I need you to leave. You can talk to our store manager, but he isn't here today."
"I will be," I said.
I stormed off and after a few steps I went back to check that I would remember his name. When I walked into the office I slammed the door and screamed, "They kicked me out of Wal-Mart."
Sandy was on the phone faster than it takes me to eat a pizza roll. After a brief conversation with the person on the phone Sandy told me I could go back and finish up. I just needed to check in at the customer service desk from now on and let them know I would be there.
That's right. The employees of Wal-Mart that I have worked with in the past and the ones Sandy talks to about getting me safe passage through their store are extremely friendly and helpful. In fact, I have learned that 99% of the Wal-Mart staff lends a hand when needed, but then that remaining 1% really ruins it for the rest of them.

It Had To Happen Sometime

After many attempts and an unblemished record, I have finally had to clean my freezer out. I forgot about a Dr. Pepper can I placed in the freezer and it busted. I have had this happen before at my mom's house, but she would always clean it up. It has never occurred to me when I was living on my own. Well, it taught me a valuable lesson. Don't forget about that can.

Greatest. Rejection. Ever.

While doing my "Man on the Street" story today at Wal-Mart, I received the funniest rejection yet. When asked if he would like to respond to my question about the progress being made in Iraq and have a picture to go with it, a middle-aged man replied, "I better not. I'm wanted by the police and a picture in the paper would just advertise my whereabouts. But thank you."
As I thanked him through my chuckles he let me know he was kidding about the police. That rejection got me through the next five without it being personal.

Better Foul Than Sorry

Here is this week's column for you to enjoy.

A friend of my family’s had an extremely interesting story that I felt was important to pass on to the women of this readership.
Jenny Sorrell wanted to treat her mom to a fun night at Ameriquest Field for Mother’s Day. What she got was shocking news that led to a different outlook on life.
Jenny had planned earlier to go on a trip to North Carolina, but fate kept her in the metroplex to give her a chance to attend the May 7 game when the Texas Rangers hosted the Cleveland Indians.
Jenny bought tickets online however when she received them in the mail, Jenny and her mom were placed on the wrong row. This was the second change in her plans, a plan that seemed to have no design in store.
The next change in her destiny came during the game. Jenny said she and her mother had decided to leave at the bottom of the seventh inning. Yet, once the Rangers were doing so well and they were having such a good time they decided to stay longer.
During the bottom of the eighth inning, Alfonso Soriano, having already hit two homeruns for the evening, had every eye watching as he stepped up to the plate. Even Jenny was waiting in anticipation to see what would happen. Soriano fouled a line drive into the crowd and Jenny could see the lightning-fast rip coming straight for her.
“I saw the ball coming but I just couldn’t move,” Jenny said.
The ball crashed into Jenny’s stomach and took her breath away. She was taken to the first aid station at the ballpark and after checking her out they recommended she go to the emergency room.
To not scare her mom too much, Jenny decided to wait on the hospital visit until the next day. On Sunday evening, Jenny went to the ER and had a cat scan done. The doctor came in to tell her the news.
“The good news was my spleen hadn’t ruptured,” Jenny said. “The bad news was I had cancer.”
Her oncologist confirmed what the doctor told her. Jenny discovered she had ovarian cancer that had already developed to stage three.
Jenny’s doctor, Dr. John Schorge, told her it would take surgery and six treatments of chemotherapy three weeks apart.
During the surgery, 15 tumors were found, one weighing ten pounds alone. Doctors had to remove her spleen and appendix due to the size of the tumor.
After having five-and-a-half liters of fluid removed, Jenny was put on a ventilator in the ICU. Following an 11-day stay in the hospital, six of which were spent in the ICU, Jenny came out with a new attitude towards life.
“This was a wake up call to me,” Jenny said. “The little things in life aren’t that big of a deal anymore.”
While considering the events that have led up to this, Jenny said she was grateful the ball hit her.
“It has made me realize I need to let women know to ask for a CA-125 blood test,” Jenny said. “Doctors don’t run this type of test during our annual checkup because it isn’t 100%, but it is better than nothing.”
When I asked Jenny if the way she had discovered this tragic event was just a weird twist of fate she replied with a solid no.
“It’s a miracle that it happened the way it did,” Jenny said. “And that I’m alive.”
For those who read this, I suggest you ask your doctors about this CA-125 blood test and see if it will work for you. Jenny Sorrell would never have known about her cancer had it not been for a baseball, but you have the opportunity to check on your body before a miracle needs to occur.

Thursday's Column

This is my latest column from yesterday's edition. The following is the version that went to print.

When does partial credit no longer apply?

Question: What is the difference between a deli and a meat market?
Answer: Two free tickets to the “Late Show with David Letterman.”
I recently went to New York and while planning the entertainment portion, I applied for two tickets to the “Late Show with David Letterman.” I am not a huge fan of the show, but I like Letterman more than Leno. I enjoy watching it occasionally, but I don’t make sure I’m home when Paul starts hammering the notes of the opening jingle to the show.
I like the top-ten list, but number two is usually the funniest item on the list and number one is never funny. To tell the truth, I’m more of a Conan O’Brien fan, but most people under the age of 28 are.
Well, back to my story. I decided to attempt getting tickets to the June 20 show because it would be memorable to see one of Letterman’s shows taped live. I applied online for the tickets about two or three months ago and had actually forgotten all about the request.
The Tuesday before I left for New York, Brad, a representative with the show ticket office called and told me I was one of the lucky candidates who had a chance to win two tickets for Monday night’s taping. Since the tickets are free and supply is usually great I would have to answer a simple – well, simple to Brad - Letterman question and I would then be given two tickets to the show.
Okay, easy enough. I watch the show every once in a while. Maybe the question would be about Biff’s Summer Tour or what instrument Paul plays. I cleared my mind of all outside interference and concentrated on what was about to be asked of me.
“We sometimes send David out to a man named Rupert’s shop,” Brad began. “What kind of business does Rupert own?”
“You have got to be kidding,” I thought.
What kind of business does Rupert own? What kind of question is that for crying out loud? Rupert. Rupert. Who the heck is Rupert?
I searched every small crevice of my mind and could remember – vaguely - seeing Dave standing in a place with some meat hanging all around. Was this Rupert’s place? Did he own a meat-packaging store?
By this time, Brad is asking me for an answer. I decide to take a shot with meat market. It seemed vague enough to pass if Rupert’s place is involved with meat in any way, shape, or form. Short, vague answers on essay or short-answer tests when you don’t know the answer always served me well in school because you can always get partial credit. That was my strategy.
“Oh, I’m sorry Matt, that’s not correct,” Brad, said. “Would you like a number to call to be on standby for Monday’s taping?”
“Sure,” I replied, thinking Rupert must own a record store or massage parlor.
Immediately after hanging up the phone, I told the office what had just happened and Joe, our graphic artist, told me it was a deli.
“It’s Rupert Jee’s Hello Deli,” Joe said.
A deli? That’s like a meat market. He makes meat sandwiches. It’s close enough. Shouldn’t I get the partial credit of one ticket? I’ve been robbed.
Well, needless to say, I didn’t make it to “The Late Show with David Letterman.” Instead I was a standout tourist and made the typical round from the Empire State Building to the Statue of Liberty to Central Park.
For the record though, I think I was close enough to get tickets, and so does Joe.

It's That Time Of Year Again

Today I was sent to get the gas prices from around Ennis. As of 3 p.m. on Friday afternoon, the average price is $2.05 a gallon for regular unleaded. The low was $1.96 and the high was $2.13. In January Ennis was averaging $1.50 a gallon. It's amazing how quick gas prices go up after a monstrous dictator who is hiding weapons of mass destruction is captured. I wonder if those two events are correlated? No, they couldn't be.

For Those Who Would Like To Know

If you have ever wondered how much editing goes into a newspaper column, then read my post "Too Young To Be A Conservative, Too Old To Be A Liberal" and then read the following. The first post was my submission into the editorial folder and this is what was published after Sandy cleaned it up. Any grammatical errors were fixed before it went to print, just to let you know.

I’ve decided I’m at a peculiar age in my life. While things used to be so clear and set in stone with no discernable gray area, now things sometimes contradict what I used to think. It seems now, that every so often, my ideals run together.
Not to stereotype, but youthful minds usually lean towards the liberal left resulting in comments like, “If it’s too loud, you’re too old,” and “Just one puff won’t hurt.”
This is what I used to be like, but now if find I complain about the youth of America being too broadminded and not respecting their elders – an archaic term that, sadly, I now seem to personify.
I find I am torn about the most perculiar things these days.
Take cable television for instance.
I am a huge fan of “The Shield,” the gritty, genuine cop show on FX starring Michael Chiklis. Some older viewers may know Chiklis better as “The Commish.” “The Shield” sometimes shows images and situations that even I, a 24-year-old male, am uncomfortable to watch.
When a compromising situation with what the show refers to as “a gang-banger” and another male are shown, or a half-naked woman presenting a silhouetted outline that clearly displays her breast, I think to myself, “Can this be shown on television?”
Cable has developed an acceptable status and become what NBC, ABC and CBS were referred to 10 years ago - normal television. If someone says cable television today, most people probably think of HBO, Cinemax and Showtime.
What is appropriate now for cable television? To answer this question, I find I become two different people.
The conservative Matthew Brandon Cook, reporter for the Ennis Daily News, says children and young adults should not be subjected to the filth and violence often shown on these channels. Then the abrasive, liberal Matt Cook, community extremist, responds with facts like it is cable television and shows like that are shown at 9 p.m. and if they want to see violence they can watch the nightly news or get on the Internet and download videos of people doing insanely stupid acts of violence.
So which viewpoint is right? Should cable television be regulated like network television has been or should parents monitor their kids closely enough to ensure they don’t watch smut like “The Shield” or “South Park”?
I would like to say the answer is simple, but it’s not. We cannot shield people from what is going on in this world by channel blocking, but we also shouldn’t allow kids to do whatever they want or watch whatever they want.
Shows like “The Shield” are created for entertainment value only. They are not trying to get the general public to do anything more than watch the show and produce ratings.
Cable was introduced so what people watch on their television could be edgy and new. It is an appropriate place for shows like “The Shield” to be run. While there some brief nudity, it isn’t overt and not much worse than NYPD Blue’s world famous shot of Dennis Franz’s rear - and that show is on network television.
As with everything, moderation may be the key. I think my final resting place on this issue will be somewhere near the peaceful compromise of open-mindedness – something I might not have done a few years ago.
Let shows like “The Shield” and “Nip/Tuck” maintain their edgy premise. Thankfully, I am old enough now to know that if I don’t like it, all I have to do is change the channel.

Micah?

I'm back in Arlington, how did my columns come out? Has anyone commented around the town? I'm so nervous about it. I just want it to look good.

Where's The Irony?

This is a lead to a story I came across:

Two eighth-graders who spent months working on a science project to prove how dangerous BB guns can be were disqualified from the state middle school science fair. The reason for the dismissal: BB guns are too dangerous.

A New Experience For Me

Last night I did something I have never before done. I checked into a hotel all by myself. I'm a big boy. I've stayed in hotels before with friends and relatives, but never alone.
My air conditioning is out in my apartment and I couldn't stay another night in the scorching furnace. I packed up my stuff and headed east. No, I didn't go to Shreveport. I only went about 1.2 miles east, to the Ennis Inn located on I-45. Technically, the Ennis Inn isn't a hotel. It's a motel. The doors lead straight outside. However, this is a moot point. I've survived the Siesta Motel, which means I can stay anywhere in the world now.
I also got to watch cable for the first time in Ennis. I still haven't ordered cable yet for my apartment. I waited so long and now I am going to New York in a few days, I didn't see a point in ordering cable when I wouldn't be here to watch it.
I watched an episode of Sex and the City, part of CSI: Miami, two episodes of The Family Guy, Futurama and the last half of the new HBO series Entourage. Cable is great.
I had fun in the motel room. It was like a slumber party without any friends, but I want my apartment back. Hopefully the fix-it guy will come by today. I need to do laundry tonight and pack for tomorrow and I don't want to do that in the firery pits of Hades.

Too Young To Be A Conservative, Too Old To Be A Liberal

After switching topics multiple times and worrying myself into a frenzy for the past five days, I have finally settled on a topic for my column. Now I must choose whether I use this one for this Thursday or next Thursday. I have to turn in two this week because I am going to New York Thursday and will not have time to write a column while on vacation. However, it would be kind of cool to write a column from New York and e-mail it in. I would be like Carrie from Sex and the City.

I’ve decided I’m at a peculiar age in my life. While things used to be so clear and set in stone, there was no gray area, now things sometimes contradict what I used to think and ideals run together every so often.
Youthful minds usually lean towards the liberal left with comments like, “If it’s too loud, you’re too old,” and “Just one puff won’t hurt.” This is what I used to be like, but now I complain about the youth of America being too broadminded and not respecting their elders, which I sadly am one of now.
A perfect example of where I am torn in life’s tough issues is cable television. I am a huge fan of The Shield, the gritty, genuine cop show on FX starring Michael Chiklis. Some older viewers may know Chiklis better as The Commish. The Shield sometimes shows images and situations that even I, a 24-year-old male, am uncomfortable to watch.
When a compromising situation with a gang-banger and another male are shown or a half-naked woman posing the outline of her breast is displayed, I think to myself, “Can this be shown on television?”
Cable has become what NBC, ABC and CBS were 10 years ago, normal television. If someone says cable television today, most people probably think of HBO, Cinemax and Showtime.
What is appropriate now for cable television? To answer this question, I become two different people. The conservative Matthew Brandon Cook, reporter for the Ennis Daily News, says children and young adults should not be subjected to such filth and violence. Then the abrasive, liberal Matt Cook, community extremist, responds with facts like it is cable television, it is shown at 9 p.m. and if they want to see violence they can watch the nightly news or get on the Internet and download videos of people doing insanely stupid acts of violence.
So which viewpoint is right? Should cable television be regulated like network television has been or should parents discipline their kids enough to not watch smut like The Shield or South Park?
I would like to say the answer is simple, but it’s not. We cannot shield people from what is going on in this world by channel blocking, but we also shouldn’t allow kids to do whatever they want or watch whatever they want.
Shows like The Shield are for entertainment value only. They are not trying to get the general public to do anything more than watch the show and produce ratings.
Cable was introduced so television could be edgy and new. It is a place for shows like The Shield to be run. It doesn’t show nudity, sometimes the occasional butt shot or silhouette of a female body part can be seen, but NYPD Blue has shown Dennis Franz’s rear before and that show is on network television.
My final resting place on this issue will be open-mindedness. Let the television series remain edgy and promiscuous. It is what FX is known for with series such as The Shield and Nip/Tuck.

Just Under Four Hours

I had an idea but have since scrapped it and am back at square one. What is square one anyway? And can it become a column subject? Get back on track Matt. Focus. Usually in college when I had writer's block I would go run and that would get the cogs spinning, but it's too hot to run today. I will have to figure it out soon. The clock is ticking.

Less Than Eight Hours To Go

It's 9:30 and I still don't have a column topic. It's going to come down to the wire. I'll either have to settle on a nice "welcome to the neighborhood" piece or lift an old blog entry and revamp it. However, some brilliant idea could come to mind in the next few hours.

My Column Isn't Coming Along

I haven't decided the approach to take with my column yet. Part of me wants to be serious and begin my first column on a "welcome to my style of writing" kind of piece, but then the other half wants to write about some prick posting anonymously to Micah about the coverage of the 5K and 10K runs at the Polka Festival. I will probably end of writing about my introduction into Ennis and how nice the community has been. That would probably be smart to make everyone happy before I start bashing stereotypes and other groups.

Will This Be On The Midterm?

Back to school, back to school,
To show my daddy I'm not a fool.
I've got my lunch sack packed, my shoes tied tight.
Hope I don't get in a fight.
Oooh, back to school, back to school.

Well, I guess I can't let Chad and James show me up in longevity of scholastic careers. Sandy is putting me back into college. Do you think this has anything to do with the kind of work I've been doing lately?
I have been enrolled in a 10 week Internet course for new journalists. It will teach me different aspects of the job and how to do certain tasks. I just hope dead week is better than SFA's.

Sopranos: Season Five

I was one of the unlucky few who missed last season of The Sopranos and The Shield. I have had to wait diligently for both shows to come out on DVD so I could catch up.
When The Shield hit the shelves I was their within hours to buy my copy. I watched the entire season in a matter of a few days. It was great. Chad and I are now struggling through the new season. It is a great show still, but I don't have cable and he tivos the show. Then he has to wait for me to come in town and watch an episode or two. If I would just get cable then we could watch the show individually and then talk about it later.
With The Sopranos I owned my copy even faster than The Shield. I will get through it faster also. I bought it at midnight on Monday evening and after tonight I will be caught up with the Soprano crime family. I will be able to listen to the Ticket when they discuss anything related to the show. I will be able to stop telling people to shut up about the next season because I don't know what happened last season. When this happens I look like Jimmy Fallon in Fever Pitch when they are at the seafood place and he hears someone talking about the Red Sox game, except I'm not holding a crab leg.
I am trying to get through everything at work so I can go home and watch the show, but I have a "man on the street" story due and I'm having trouble finding volunteers for the column. Oh well, time to go hit the pavement for some recruits.

It's Heeeeeeeeeeeere

Training is over and now is when I begin performing my job alone. I will still get tons of help from Sandy and go to meetings around town with Micah, however I have had four realizations today that show I am settling into my job.
The first was I walked into the front office this morning and thought I was in the wrong building. The front area was completely remodeled over the weekend and it looks very different. It's newer and sleeker. What made me realize I am settling into my job is that if the job still was new and I felt I didn't belong, the front office would probably not have stood out to me. I would have likely just walked through and not given it any notice at all. Yet I did notice. This makes me think I belong here now and I am one of the guys at the office.
Secondly, I have had three new job assignments given to me today that will be a routine thing. The first involved a meeting with Chief Dale Holt of the Ennis Police Department. Sandy took me over to EPD and we took a tour with Lt. Ron Roark. He showed me the detectives' offices, the jail cells in the basement and where I would be picking up the reports from the previous night. I was then informed by Holt of the peace officer/news reporter confidentiality clause that is basically an understanding that I will not report anything that is off the record or libelous to the police department without first conversing with him. I will be reporting to Lt. Roark every morning at 9 a.m. to discuss any questions I have about a case in progress.
My second assignment given to me today was a "Man on the Street" story, which are questions I have to ask random people about around town. Today's question was about Michael Jackson. It took me a while to find some volunteers for such a volatile subject. I was also given questions for the next several days, but I will complete those on a day-to-day basis.
The final assignment discussed during my meeting with Sandy this morning was my column. I will have a featured column every Wednesday starting next week. This is kind of scary. I blog a column all the time, but it is only read by my friends and the occasional passer-by. You can tell when I am being sarcastic. I am afraid I will be too abrasive for Ennis. Also, what if I don't have anything to talk about. Luckily, for a little while I can pull old blog entries and use those. That will work for a while.
The third item of recognizing my settlement in the office was I now listen to the scanner when it goes off. Before today I would sometimes block the noise out and not pay attention. Today I picked up on a report of a female being tackled and thrown into a truck as it pulled away. Nothing came of the report, because I'm not an ambulance chaser, but it was a good sign that I heard the scanner when it went off.
The final realization was my computer and desk are starting to look like me. I replaced the old mouse pad today with a special one I got for Christmas from my mom. The old one was a plain, maroon-colored pad with no personality. Now it is a picture of the Rat Pack around a pool table. My desktop also has a picture that is very me. It is a poster of the 1933 production of King Kong. I like it and it is much better than the plain blue background I did have. Now I stare into Kong's eyes as he is battling planes atop the Empire State Building, which I will be at in just over a week's time.
All of these things combines made me see how much I am starting to feel at home in the office. However, I should always feel at home at the office, because it is in the same building as my home.

WSOP Update

Daniel Negreanu didn't fare too well in the third event of the WSOP. He was knocked out on about the fifth hand. Good hands, no help. However, just to show how well the guy is doing, he has paid for every entry from now until the end. That is impressive. He did not to show off but to not stand in long lines. I wish I had that option. Oh well.

I'm Completely Whole Again...And I Have Some Recommendations

After Chad screwed up my blog and weeks of restoring it, I have put it completely back together. I've added a few links I didn't have before and I changed my template. All entries are to their full content and grammatical best (if a mistake has been made, then I just missed it).
During this restoration process, I came across some very funny entries that I will now share with everyone. If you want a good read or chuckle go to the following:

Anything involving the trips to Las Vegas in June and July from 2004.
The entries about my trip to Europe in December.
Could SpongeBob Be Gay? from January 24.
My Second Rant on May 31, 2004.
Polka Festival Begins from May 27, 2005.
Principles and Principals on May 24, 2004.

WSOP 2005 Begins

Today begins an annual event that my friends and I have paid close attention to for two years now. Today begins the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas.
The World Series officially started in 1970 with seven players. However, the first battle between the best was played more than two decades before that. In the summer of 1949, Nicolas "Nick the Greek" Dandolos asked Benny Binion, owner of the Horseshoe Casino, to find the best player in poker and set up a high-stakes game between the two. Binion did just that. He organized a match between Dandolos and Johnny Moss. After five months of playing a number of poker games and only breaking for sleep, Moss finally defeated Dandolos and took away $2 million. This is also where we get the famous line from Dandolos, "Mr. Moss, I have to let you go." He then proceeded to go upstairs for some much needed rest.
In 1970, the game was played with a democratic twist. A vote was taken and the majority elected Johnny Moss winner. The next year it was set up the way we know today. A freezeout tournament was played and Johnny Moss won that also. After Thomas "Amarillo Slim" Preston won it the following year, he appeared on the talk-show circuit and the WSOP gained some momentum.
Last year saw 2,576 entries and this year the event is being moved to the Rio to hold the estimated high number of players (some have projected the count will be over 5,000). Today at 2 p.m., noon Las Vegas time, begins the WOSP with a small no-limit tournament, $500 entry fee, between casino employees. The main event that most casual poker players only know about begins July 7, but I will have the privilege to see how the pro poker players fare in the lesser known, which means cheaper and more likely to have amatuers, tournaments.

I Am Now Whole...Almost

If you haven't noticed the archive dates to the right of the screen, you will not have figured out that I have finally put all of my posts back on my blog. I am missing a few comments for the first three posts, but I will have to add those tomorrow because the comments field has been disabled due to so much activity in twenty minutes. This is also why you may not be able to post any comments right now to this entry.
Tomorrow I will be complete and this prank gone awry (or maybe the pranker got exactly what he wanted out of this) will be a distant memory. As of tomorrow, everything will be back to normal on mobyd.blogspot.com.