When a film franchise endures for more than 50 years and 23
films, there are going to be some high points and low points throughout.
The James Bond series has such moments, and a
consensus among many fans is that
Die
Another Day, as a whole, is a low point for the series.
To be fair, a lot of people see the first
third of the film as a great starting point.
It isn’t until Bond goes off to Cuba and beyond that the thing goes off
the rails.
However, the masses are in harmony when it comes to criticism
of one specific aspect of the film: 007’s vehicle. Aston Martin unveiled their newest model, the
V12 Vanquish, in the 2002 film, but due to one particular option added to Bond’s
vehicle, Q Branch had renamed it the Vanish.
This was due to the fact that they had included a cloaking feature that
rendered the car invisible to the human eye.
Both when the movie was initially released and up to now,
the two biggest grievances about the film are the overuse of CGI and the
invisible car. I personally am
completely on board with the former complaint, but as far as having an
invisible car, I don’t quite see how you can demonize that particular gadget
over others that have seemed just as far-fetched that came before it.
For those who are not as big of a fan of the James Bond
series as I am, let me shed a little light on the argument I’m about to defend. The 007 film series has always relied on
gadgets to help our hero in the field.
Some movies tone down the amount of gadgets, such as For Your Eyes Only and Casino Royale, while others ramp up the
technology, like Goldfinger or Octopussy. Die
Another Day is one of the movies that relied heavily on gadgets for the
latter half of the film, and the vanishing car is what draws the most ire from
the fan base.
I would like to start off and state that I am not defending
the absurdity of the technical flaws with trying to spy on people in an
invisible car. Transporting the
occupants to and from locations behind enemy lines in the concealed vehicle is
about the only great use for such a medium of technology. Otherwise, people would be able to hear the
purr of the engine as it cruised around a military base or would walk into it
when parked inside the heart of the villain’s lair. Obviously there are better ways of spying on
people than spending hundreds of millions (maybe even billions) of dollars on
creating invisible cars, but I’m sure there are some great uses for cloaking
devices for the future of our military.
If anything, it would be nice to be on the same playing field as the
Romulans once we start exploring space like in Star Trek.
What I am here to defend today is the idea that Bond getting
an invisible car didn’t take things too far from spy adventure to science
fiction, because that is just not the case.
Were the gadgets getting out of hand and a more realistic direction need
to be taken? Yes. But for the fandom to turn on the Bond
filmmaking team because of this single gadget, that seems a bit excessive to
me. Especially since in the decade that
has passed since the release of Die
Another Day it has been revealed that scientists around the world are
working on perfecting such a device on clothing material and vehicles. At this point in life these things obviously
aren’t perfected and don’t look as sleek as it did in the film, but the concept
is available to us and given time it could be achieved.
I’ve come up with five other gadgets from the James Bond
movies that are much more ridiculous or less attainable due to the limitations
of science.
The first such item is Oddjob’s bowler from Goldfinger. The hat looked rather normal, but when he took
it off and launched it like a Frisbee, the audience learned of its deadly capability. The derby’s rim was made of a thin metal that
could slice stone or snap a person’s neck.
Just think about that last sentence.
It can cut away stone or break bones.
Doesn’t it seem that it should be able to do one or the other, but by
being strong and thin enough to cut stone, wouldn’t it then be a decapitating
device instead of merely a bone-breaking one?
In a movie where the most absurd gadget should be a car’s ejector seat,
Oddjob takes top billing (billing, like the bill of a hat; get it) with his
deadly derby.
The next gadget up for scrutiny is the mini-breather from Thunderball. This tool, used to get much needed extra time
when underwater diving, seems extremely feasible. In fact, following the release of the movie
in 1965 the military contacted the Bond producing team asking how they could
get their hands on the device. Alas, no
such apparatus exists and it was all created using Hollywood editing. The closest you will get to a mini-breather
is a can of spare air in the case of emergency that can be on your person when
deep sea diving. Since no such device
has ever, or likely will ever, be in existence, I’m not sure why this one doesn’t
get more retractors.
In my humble opinion, The
Man with the Golden Gun is the worst of the series. There is little to enjoy throughout and the
suspense level gets ratcheted up to about HervĂ© Villechaize’s height (that is just under four, in case you were
wondering). The standout moment of
ludicrousness for this movie is when villain, and the film’s namesake, Scaramanga
attaches a set of wings to his transportation, turning it into a flying car. To me, the idea that attached wings can
simply be clipped to a sports car and all of a sudden we are living with Doc
and Marty McFly in Hill Valley, circa 2015, is nonsensical.
Scaramanga’s flying car was just another blunder among many
mistakes found throughout a bad movie, but the Lotus submarine from the
following film was something altogether because The Spy Who Loved Me is actually considered to be one of the better
entries from the franchise. In the
context of the movie, Bond drives his Lotus Esprit S1 off a pier and as the
vehicle is sinking to the bottom of the sea it converts at the touch of a
button to a submarine. Compared to
having a car that can become invisible, I see no difference, except that within
a decade the theory that an invisible car is actually obtainable, whereas it
has been nearly 40 years and we are no closer to converting automobiles to
submarines.
Laser guns. How does
that sound for realism in a Bond movie? In
Moonraker, sending the British spy
into space wasn’t enough. Things had to
be tricked up even more with a laser gun battle between space marines and an
army of henchmen. It looks like a grand
game of laser tag between floating astronauts.
It is essentially a reworking of the underwater battle from Thunderball, replacing swimmers with
spacemen and harpoon guns with laser rifles. Progress is being made to create applicable
laser rifles, or ray guns, but it certainly took a while for science to catch
up with the fiction found in Moonraker.