The Long Way Home

"We have to leave by 8:00 a.m.," was the last comment heard before I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep. At 8:34 a.m. I was pretending to be dead to the world so no one would wake up. I wanted to sleep a little longer. By 8:42 a.m., Chad was beginning to stir. We were on the road not a minute past 9:08 a.m. Not too bad if you ask me.
Our first stop was Hoover Dam. Chad, being the history buff that he is, gave us the dam tour. "The Hoover Dam was built in 1846 by the Comanche Indians." The rest of his tour was bogus.
We were all taken aback by the awesome sight that the Hoover Dam is. If you have not seen this amazing achievement I recommend you do. It is something that should not be passed up. We made our way to the middle of the dam. When we got to a nice spot, Clint began to open the vile that his father was resting in. James asked if anything should be said and Clint immediately rejected the idea.
"Well, here we go," Clint said as he dumped the tube over and let the ashes drift away with the wind. It only took a few seconds for the awkwardness to set in. None of us knew what to say. We never met the guy and Clint didn't want to talk about it. We stood there in silence for about fifteen seconds and then James attempted to get things moving by saying, "So, do you want any pictures?"
After sightseeing for another twenty minutes, we got in the car and started the long journey home. We didn't stop again for anything besides gas or a bathroom until lunch. We ate at an Indian Casino about ten miles outside of Albuquerque. "Did we gamble?" you might ask. Does Clint fold pocket aces? Yes.
Clint also won $20 off of Chad from proposition bets. One wager was Clint couldn't throw a pebble to the highway from about thirty yards away. Mark one for Clint. The second bet was even tougher. From twenty yards away, Clint had to hit a speed limit sign with a rock. Clint nailed it right in the middle of the sign. Chad was at a loss for words. He was even quieter when a police officer pulled up two seconds later asking how we were doing. We gave him the sob story of just left Vegas and it's two in the morning. He left us alone and we were off again.
Not much else happened along the way; however there were a lot of great quotes. I will now record the top 10 quotes of the trip.

10. "I'll see your thousand and raise you your soul." - Chad
9. "He was down by the idiots and I was by the retards." - Clint8. "If I'm sleepy, I'm not driving." - Chad
7. As we passed adobes Clint said, "You white people force us to live in those." I came back with, "Your people lived in those before we were here." "Yeah, but now you force us to live in them and sell fireworks and jewelry." - Clint
6. Clint asked, "Do you know how they told Kristyn Cade might have Down syndrome?" I responded with, "What'd they do, give her a book, Down Syndrome and You?"5. "The Hoover Dam was built in 1846 by the Comanche Indians." - Chad4. "I've got the best way to commit suicide. Fill your pockets with candy. Fill your shirt with candy. Fill your hat with candy. Then jump off a building so when you hit the ground it will look like a big pinata exploded. People will say, 'Someone committed suicide! Oh, a snickers.'" - Chad3. 1:12 p.m. - "All black people steal. Either through affirmative action or just by bum rushing you and stealing your wallet." - Anonymous
1:14 p.m. - As a car with a confederate flag passes us on I-40, "Man, some people are ignorant." - Anonymous2. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless you need a prescription to get rid of it." - BartAnd the winner of the funniest quote is...
1. "I may be the smallest guy at this table, but I will still kick your ass." - Me
This has been the summary of Getting Kicked in the Junk by Vegas 2004. I hope you enjoyed it and I will now return to my usual rants about ignorant people and our hopeless society.