Thursday's Column

This is my latest column from yesterday's edition. The following is the version that went to print.

When does partial credit no longer apply?

Question: What is the difference between a deli and a meat market?
Answer: Two free tickets to the “Late Show with David Letterman.”
I recently went to New York and while planning the entertainment portion, I applied for two tickets to the “Late Show with David Letterman.” I am not a huge fan of the show, but I like Letterman more than Leno. I enjoy watching it occasionally, but I don’t make sure I’m home when Paul starts hammering the notes of the opening jingle to the show.
I like the top-ten list, but number two is usually the funniest item on the list and number one is never funny. To tell the truth, I’m more of a Conan O’Brien fan, but most people under the age of 28 are.
Well, back to my story. I decided to attempt getting tickets to the June 20 show because it would be memorable to see one of Letterman’s shows taped live. I applied online for the tickets about two or three months ago and had actually forgotten all about the request.
The Tuesday before I left for New York, Brad, a representative with the show ticket office called and told me I was one of the lucky candidates who had a chance to win two tickets for Monday night’s taping. Since the tickets are free and supply is usually great I would have to answer a simple – well, simple to Brad - Letterman question and I would then be given two tickets to the show.
Okay, easy enough. I watch the show every once in a while. Maybe the question would be about Biff’s Summer Tour or what instrument Paul plays. I cleared my mind of all outside interference and concentrated on what was about to be asked of me.
“We sometimes send David out to a man named Rupert’s shop,” Brad began. “What kind of business does Rupert own?”
“You have got to be kidding,” I thought.
What kind of business does Rupert own? What kind of question is that for crying out loud? Rupert. Rupert. Who the heck is Rupert?
I searched every small crevice of my mind and could remember – vaguely - seeing Dave standing in a place with some meat hanging all around. Was this Rupert’s place? Did he own a meat-packaging store?
By this time, Brad is asking me for an answer. I decide to take a shot with meat market. It seemed vague enough to pass if Rupert’s place is involved with meat in any way, shape, or form. Short, vague answers on essay or short-answer tests when you don’t know the answer always served me well in school because you can always get partial credit. That was my strategy.
“Oh, I’m sorry Matt, that’s not correct,” Brad, said. “Would you like a number to call to be on standby for Monday’s taping?”
“Sure,” I replied, thinking Rupert must own a record store or massage parlor.
Immediately after hanging up the phone, I told the office what had just happened and Joe, our graphic artist, told me it was a deli.
“It’s Rupert Jee’s Hello Deli,” Joe said.
A deli? That’s like a meat market. He makes meat sandwiches. It’s close enough. Shouldn’t I get the partial credit of one ticket? I’ve been robbed.
Well, needless to say, I didn’t make it to “The Late Show with David Letterman.” Instead I was a standout tourist and made the typical round from the Empire State Building to the Statue of Liberty to Central Park.
For the record though, I think I was close enough to get tickets, and so does Joe.