A Good Chuckle From My Co-Leader

I came across this from Gordon Keith today and thought it was great. Laughed a lot.

This instant-messaging stuff drives me crazy
By Gordon Keith

As part of my recovery, I must admit that I am the worst e-mail, IM, text message, phone-sex talker ever.

[Instant-message exchange]

GQuick: What' RU doin?

mdog22: nothing.

GQuick: whaz up?

mdog22: yeah?

GQuick: what RU wairin'?

mdog22: suit and tie.

GQuick: ooh dresed as man. I like that, baby.

mdogg22: I'm a man. My name is Mark Dogg, assistant district attorney.

GQuick: Sorry. wrong IM name. I feel horrible. This is Gordon Keith of Quick, please keep me anonymous. Oh, Gosh.

[E-mail exchange]

Betty: Hey Gordon. I liked your article on school finance.

Gordon: So did I. you sound pretty hot ...

Betty: My husband thinks so.

Gordon: [ignoring her nouns] why don't you send a pic

Betty: here it is. This is me holding our youngest son at his christening last month.

Gordon: wow, nice rack. Too bad that baby is in the way. Here's a pic of me.

Betty: ... well, I like your back yard. Is that a ball gag you are wearing? I take it you don't wear briefs.

Gordon: Thanks for the compliments. That's a lamp I'm using on myself. Wanna have lunch?

Betty: Actually I just lost mine.

Gordon: really? did you eat your food real hard for me.

Betty: I don't think you understood me.

Gordon: EPDAGR...

Betty: What?

Gordon: Easing Pants Down And Getting Ready

Betty: Freak! I am contacting your boss!

Gordon: Please don't! Oh my gosh, I am sorry! I misread this so badly! You sounded totally into it.

[Phone call]

Gordon: Hello?

Quick editor: Gordon, we need to talk.

Gordon: About what?

Quick editor: I've received several e-mails from readers and a couple of calls from cops about some unwanted conversations you've had with people that have bordered on threatening.

Gordon: I really don't know what you are talking about. And that Rachel girl is crazy.

Quick editor: Who is Rachel? Listen, I don't want to argue about it. You are on probation for one month.

Gordon: Hey, look, if I have been a bad boy, then I should be punished. Are you all dressed up as an editor right now? Hello?

[Dial tone]