James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 24

When a new James Bond movie is being filmed, my anticipation for the next installment in the series grows intensely.  I get into an agitated state the closer to the film's release we get.  Eventually it gets to a point where all I want to do is watch, listen, talk, think, breath, and unconsciously be 007.  So while you may not care one iota about the James Bond film franchise, I do, and therefore since this is pretty much my blog (and by that I mean "this is my blog") I am going to find any way possible to write about my hero of the silver screen.  I'm sorry if you don't like it, but to not like James Bond is to not like me.  Okay, that might be a little harsh.  But if you truly have no interest in James Bond or movie posters, then the next 24 posts are going to bore you immensely.  I would suggest you take a break from my website and come back in about a month's time.  All three of you.

 

To begin with, this series will focus on the posters of the James Bond series.  Now, I have had to set a few parameters with this because in the world of movie marketing it is very common to see numerous posters and other artwork promoting a film to be released.  And that doesn't even take into account the fan-made artwork that can be found on the Internet.  So, for the purposes of this series, I am limiting the posters I have ranked to only the one's found in theaters throughout the United States.  And even after whittling down the criteria to domestic posters only, I had to narrow it down a little further because there are not only different styles of posters (usually labeled Style A and Style B), but there are also the theatrical release and teaser posters (just like with movie trailers).  Even with the most recent movie in the series that is currently filming, Spectre, a poster was created to tease the announcement of the title.  Then a teaser poster was released.  And we are currently awaiting the theatrical poster to be unveiled.  It is getting a bit outlandish when it comes to the overhype it takes to release a movie nowadays.

 

For the purposes of this series of posts, I will be ranking the James Bond one-sheet posters that were released in the U.S., are not teaser posters, fan-made publications, or some other type of special-edition artwork, and when having to narrow it down between two or three posters that all fit the criteria of a one-sheet U.S. theatrical poster, I have picked the more popular piece that would be recognized by not only 007 aficionados, but also casual moviegoers as well.  Let's unveil our first, and lowest ranked, poster.

 

 

24. Licence to Kill

Poor Licence to Kill.  It has so many things going against it.  It stars one of the least popular Bonds.  The Bond girls, villain, and henchmen are commonly overlooked or forgotten altogether when reflecting on the series as a whole.  The action was considered to be too violent at the time for a 007 picture.  And the movie overall was outmatched at the box office in the summer of 1989 by other action blockbusters like Batman, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Lethal Weapon 2, The Abyss, and Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

 

But can you really blame anyone in 1989 for wanting to go see the third installment in the wildly popular Indiana Jones series, the second buddy-cop pairing of Riggs and Murtaugh, or the follow-up film from a director who made The Terminator and Aliens?  And the image above comes nothing close to this in creating buzz about an upcoming feature:

 

 

While it seems normal in today's world for a comic book film to be big business, in 1989 that was not the case.  Yet, with the help of the simple, but slick, image above, Batman became the highest-grossing film of the year.  The Batman poster was a huge success and has become an iconic image in Hollywood and comic book circles since.

 

So what is wrong with the poster from Licence to Kill that makes it come in last place on my rankings?  Like many near the bottom of my list, it simply is boring.  Besides an unknown explosive fireball coming up from the bottom of the frame and Timothy Dalton's Bond standing with a gun pointed at the viewer, nothing else really sells the movie as being dangerous or adventurous, which is what a big part of the James Bond series is.  It does include the two Bond girls from the film, but even that seems to be a mistake as the image used feels like a last-minute addition that the publicity department stuck on there from an unused marketing photo that was going to show up in a Vanity Fair piece about "The Women in James Bond's Life."

 

The poster just doesn't do much in the way of getting me excited about the movie.  It doesn't provide anything in the way of possible action that will be seen in the movie and it isn't sexy enough to entice the other parts of my reasoning for liking the Bond series.  It's just an underwhelming piece of artwork.

 

For the final portion of this entry in the series, I will post my favorite poster from Licence to Kill, with no restrictions other than that it isn't fan made.  My favorite poster from the 16th picture of the 007 series is the U.S. one-sheet teaser.

 

 

It is still a weak marketing piece overall, but the undone bowtie and tagline sell the movie a bit more than the theatrical poster from above.

Today In 'Have You Ever Considered'

The title of this post makes you think this will be a recurring series that brings to the forefront different social and/or theological ideas that seem to get ignored, but really it's just something I realized and was wondering if anyone else ever thought about it.  While reflecting on Back to the Future the other day, it dawned on me that Marvin Berry and the Starlighters would probably not have been invited to be the house band for Hill Valley High School's Enchantment Under the Sea Dance.

 

 

With segregation laws the way they were in 1955, blacks and whites didn't mingle together much.  Such racist laws and conventions are even eluded to in the film when the town's future black mayor of 1985, Goldie Wilson, states in 1955 that he is going to become mayor.  His white boss at the time responds, "A colored mayor!  That'll be the day!"

 

Blacks weren't allowed to attend white schools, so why would they be asked to play music for one?  I get that it is a movie, and one that deals with time travel at that, but it still is something I had never contemplated.  Well, I for one am glad that director Robert Zemeckis didn't go to extreme lengths for realism with Back to the Future because if he had we would not have been graced with the comedic gold that is Marvin Berry giving his cousin Chuck the idea for "Johnny B. Goode."

What's In A Name

The paperwork has been signed, the car loan has been established, and Moby D has been turned over for auction.  I am officially the owner of a new Volkswagen Jetta.

 

When I first drove the Jetta, it felt much smaller than my Camry and I wasn't sure I would get used to the tight quarters.  However, after running a few errands this weekend and making my daily commute to work this morning, I don't feel quite as boxed in as I initially did.  The sense of constraint has waned considerably and I suspect that after a week it will have completely subsided.

 

I'm not quite sure what nickname to give the new car.  Since it is a navy blue shade I considered coming up with a name that involved blue somehow.  I also would like it to originate from a literary character, since my previous vehicle, Moby D, was named after the white whale in Herman Melville's novel.  The first choice was after the blue ox from the Paul Bunyan folklore, but its name is Babe and that is what I call Joanna most of the time.  It would be confusing, and odd, to have my wife and my car nicknamed the same thing.  There are a ton of blue characters from comic books that I could choose from, but I don't really want to select my car's name from something published by Marvel or DC.

 

After Babe the blue ox, I thought of trying to come up with something from George Orwell's Animal Farm, as it is my favorite book.  Yet, the only characters I would want to name something after from that story would be Boxer or Snowball, which neither of those really fit my new car.

 

I've got a nickname in mind from a recent movie I saw.  I think it is suitable for both my car and as a representation of what I enjoy as a hobby, but I want to see how it fits the vehicle before unveiling it to the world.  The potential nickname also fits in with the setting of the movie as the leather seats make it blistering hot on a sunny day.

 

I'm going to give it a week or so and I will then make my final decision of what the Jetta will be named.

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday - R.I.P. Moby D

Since 2001 my transportation needs have been fulfilled using a white 2000 Toyota Camry, nicknamed Moby D by my college roommate Korie.  After 14 long years of devoted service, I've prolonged the inevitable as much as possible and with a leaky engine, a flat tire, brake pads grinding on metal, and a lug nut stud snapping in two all needing to be repaired, Moby D is receiving an honorable discharge.

 

That car has seen a lot of things in its time.  It has traveled more than 350,000 miles, seen the neon lights of Las Vegas, driven roads in a fifth of the United States, and had parts replaced that included a windshield, engine, stereo, and interior roof lining.  I changed the oil in that car like I would change a dirty diaper for Sawyer.  Moby D, for as much grief as people have given me about the car, has been extremely reliable and gotten me home safely many evenings after a late round of poker in Oklahoma or Weatherford.

 

I joked that I would keep this car until either it surpassed one million miles or that I would hand it down to Emery as her first car, but unfortunately neither of those are going to happen.  To put things in perspective for what this means to me, I've had this car longer than the combined ages of all three of my children.  While I understand that it is just a thing and it can be replaced, the memories I had inside that vehicle cannot.  Sure, new memories will be formed in the new car and a new nickname will be coined, but that certainly doesn't minimize the feelings I have right now about putting Moby D out to pasture.

 

It was a good run and hopefully my next car can last just as long as Moby D.  Here is to the last 14 years of exquisite traveling and safe driving in my 2000 Toyota Camry.

 

 

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads

So you won't be lonely

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads

So you won't be lonely

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads

So you won't be lonely

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads

 

'Trigger Mortis' Announced & Raymond Benson Books Ranked

It was announced today the newest entry in the literary James Bond series will be titled Trigger Mortis.  The book, to be published September 8, was penned by Anthony Horowitz, but the really special treat about the upcoming story is that a portion of the book includes an unreleased story written by 007's creator, Ian Fleming.  Fleming's material was a treatment for a television series titled Murder on Wheels, which will be set in the world of motor racing.  The announcement was made on what would have been Fleming's 107th birthday.

 

Another few interesting tidbits from the book's title announcement are that it will be set within the original timeline of Fleming's stories and it will bring about the return of Bond girl Pussy Galore.  The exact timing of Horowitz's new story will take place two weeks following the events of Goldfinger.  Bond's globe-trotting adventure will involve the American-Soviet Space Race.

 

Horowitz has published more than 40 books and his literary talents include continuation novels for Sherlock Holmes.  He is also the author of the teen spy series Alex Rider.  Horowitz is also the creator of Midsomer Murders and the BAFTA-winning Foyle's War.

 

Today's 007 announcement made me realize I never put my rankings of Bond continuation author Raymond Benson's novels on the blog.  I listed Fleming and John Gardner's continuation novels nearly a year ago and the Benson stories were ranked soon after that, but I just didn't take the time to put them on the blog for posterity's sake.

 

Below are the six James Bond novels from Raymond Benson, listed from best to worst:

 

1. The Facts of Death

2. Zero Minus Ten

3. Never Dream of Dying

4. Double Shot

5. The Man with the Red Tattoo

6. High Time to Kill

Vancouver Trip: Part 2 (U2 Concert Photo Album)

I don't have many photos from the concert (since in today's world of Twitter/Facebook/the World Wide Web there are a ton of better pictures from anything you were probably doing at any point in time), but what I do have I will share.

 

This is what the stage looked like following the first night's show.  The platform to the right is the main stage and the circular area to the left is the secondary stage (where the Edge fell).  The black screen in the middle is raised during the performance and different images are shown throughout the show (as you will see in a few pictures).  The band also performed inside the video screen for a couple of songs.

 

I don't remember which song this was for, but it is from the first night.  It may be from the opening song, "The Miracle (of Joey Ramone)."

 

Here is the obligatory cell-phone flashlight moment that has replaced lighters during a band's slow song.  This was done during "A Song for Someone."

 

 

 

 

The four photos above are from the band's entrance during the encore.  The first three are from night one and the last one is from my vantage point on the second night.

 

A clear shot of the back of Larry Mullen Jr.

 

A blurry version of the front of Larry Mullen Jr.

 

Here is a nice close-up of the Edge.  As you can tell from the previous few photos, my spot on the first night was very close to the stage.  To be exact, I was on the rail right in the middle of the catwalk between the main and secondary stages.  It was a great spot to see the band members close, but you couldn't see what was going on with the screen above.

 

That leads us to the second night's general admission spot.  I was as far back as possible, but still right in the middle of the main and secondary stages.  Here is a shot of the Edge inside the video screen and an image of Bono singing from the main stage on the outside of the screen.

 

And finally a shot of both the Edge and Bono inside the screen.  You wouldn't know it, but the color of the screen was actually yellow.

 

The concerts were great.  Thanks to the unfortunate death of B.B. King we heard "When Loves Come to Town," which hadn't been played live since the early 90s.  Overall I enjoyed the set list, view, and experience of night two more than the opening show, but both were great.  Really glad I went with James to see U2 in Vancouver.  I'll never forget it.

A Photographic Recap Of My Trip To Vancouver

I recently traveled with my friend James to attend the opening two shows of the new U2 tour in Vancouver.  We flew to Seattle and drove up to Canada for financial reasons, but it turns out that was the best way to do it because the scenic drive along the Pacific Coast of Washington was one of the most picturesque viewscapes I've ever been privileged to experience.  There were some funny stories that I might share later when I have a little more time, like how James nearly contradicted my Customs interrogation answer about whether or not we were bring foreign foods into Canada, but for now it will mostly just be some pictures from Seattle, Vancouver, and the concerts.

 

This is a distant view of downtown Seattle from the inside of our rental car.  You can see to the left a domed building.  That is Safeco Field, where the Seattle Mariners play baseball.

 

Did someone mention Safeco Field?  Here is a bit closer view, but still from the I-5.

 

After turning off the main interstate to take a more leisurely paced, charming drive we came across the above mountain with looming cloud coverage.  All of Seattle and its surrounding suburbs were this gloomy both days we were in the area.

 

Before entering Canada, we pulled the car off to the side to take a closer look at the above view.  This is Bellingham Bay.  It was gorgeous.

 

This was a trail leading off from our view above of Bellingham Bay that went down toward the water's edge.

 

This is the entrance into Vancouver's Chinatown, which is where our hotel was located.

 

Speaking of our hotel, this is one of the views from our hotel.  We had a corner room on the fourth floor (which turns out to actually be the fifth floor if it were in America) of the Patricia Hotel.  This building has a storied history but is currently located in a rough part of the city.  Many homeless people lined the street, but not once were we accosted.

 

And here is the night view out the other window of our hotel.  Yes, that is the business's neon sign that brightly shines every evening.  Luckily the drapes were quite thick and we were not bothered by the light.  Now, the fact that we didn't have any A/C was another issue.

This is a waffle I had one morning while in Vancouver.  It's the greatest waffle I've ever put in my mouth.  The line was an hour long, so we had to wait a bit longer than anticipated to eat that morning.  This particular waffle was crispy and covered in strawberries, caramel, nuts, powdered sugar, whipped cream, and ice cream.

 

And this is James's waffle.  Did I mention we waited an hour for our breakfast?

 

I know I said I would post some pictures from the U2 concert, but that will have to wait until later in the week.

O Canada!

Tomorrow morning I get on a plane with my friend James as we head to Vancouver to see U2 in concert.  We land in Seattle and will make a two-and-a-half hour drive north into Canada, my first time to visit our neighbors to the north.  We will then spend Thursday and Friday nights watching our favorite band perform the first two shows on its American leg of shows, Innocence & Experience Tour.

 

While this is my first trip to Canada, it will be my eighth and ninth time to see U2 perform live.  I saw the band five times in college traveling around Texas to see them in Houston twice, Dallas twice, and Austin, once in Phoenix while visiting my brother, and another time in Arlington (which was also my first time to be in Cowboys Stadium).  Unfortunately this will not be much of a sight-seeing trip, which I am trying to get my wife to understand since she is sad she doesn't get to go with me, but I have told her that we will go to Canada some time in the future when we can have a relaxing time and not be forced to schedule around a rock concert.

 

I won't have access to a computer, so anything of interest will have to be posted upon my return.  Until then, all you suckers with jobs enjoy the rest of your work week.

We Get It Marvel; Avengers 2 Is Here

I don't follow the film industry as closely as I used to when I had nothing to take up my time but disc golf, poker, and movie watching, but you don't really need a good feel for the pulse of Hollywood, or even a BA in marketing for that matter, to realize that Marvel is throwing away millions of dollars on advertising for its latest feature film, Avengers: Age of Ultron.

 

In the days prior to the Internet, if you didn't watch television or read magazines/newspapers, it was pretty easy to avoid film advertisements.  That really was about the only way to know about an upcoming release.  Toy lines and other kid-friendly marketing tools were also available in stores, but that is pretty easy to miss.  No, the marketing departments at film studios only had so many chances to inform its target audiences that a new, super-exciting movie was being released in the next few weeks and you wouldn't want to miss it.

 

Then came the World Wide Web.  Pretty much every human being in the free world (minus a tiny percentile that makes a concerted effort to stay off the grid) uses computers, which leads to being on the Internet.  The way things are set up nowadays, you can't visit any website without seeing some sort of pop-up advertisement or web banner.  It doesn't really matter what it might be selling, they are hard to miss.

 

That being said, I dare anyone to tell me that in the last two months they haven't seen something promoting Marvel's Avengers: Age of Ultron, which was released today in theaters.  The trailers, both on television and the Internet, are running non-stop.  Product advertisements are everywhere right now for that movie.  It is impossible to go a single day without seeing something related to the second superhero team-up film for Marvel's Cinematic Universe.  But is all the press really necessary for this movie?

 

 

In 2012, Marvel's first Avengers film made $623 million domestically and raked in $1.5 billion worldwide.  That ranks third on both the all-time domestic and international box office lists for highest box office draws.  Comic book films are obviously doing well right now and Marvel is king among the production companies releasing those type of movies.  People want to see Avengers: Age of Ultron and releasing film trailer after TV spot after Internet trailer isn't swaying anyone one way or the other.  The budget for Avengers: Age of Ultron is $250 million and that doesn't include all the money they are paying to market the film.  With everything I have seen released on every form of media possible, they have had to spend a minimum of another $50 million on marketing.

 

Personally, I feel like they could have cut back on half of that and had the exact same results in who will and won't see the film.  Now, when your movies make more than a billion dollars internationally, $25 million might not seem like much, but Marvel is out to make as much money as possible and an extra $25 million is something the executives would obviously like to add that to their pocketbooks at the end of the day.  Avengers: Age of Ultron has to be one of the most heavily marketed movies in the history of the industry, but I will admit I don't have any facts or figures to back that up.  I am simply going off of the eyeball test.

 

If anything, the bombardment of advertising might actually have a negative effect as someone who might have been on the fence about seeing this movie could decide they are tired of all the advertisements or maybe they have seen so much footage it feels like they have already seen the entire movie.  With a movie like Avengers: Age of Ultron going all out on your marketing budget doesn't seem like a financially fiscal thing to do, but Marvel continues to release profitable hit after profitable hit.  They are basically the new PIXAR.

Rolling Stones Zip Code Tour

My recent interest in the top 500 albums list from Rolling Stone has already paid off in more than just hearing great music.  While working my way through the "best" albums of all time yesterday I came to the seventh item on the list, The Rolling Stones' (not associated with the magazine) Exile on Main Street.  That reminded me that tickets for the British rock group's final tour went on sale that morning and I bought two tickets in the nosebleed seats.  Sending an e-mail to my mom about my recent purchase reminded her of the tickets being available and we bought an additional ticket (on the first level near the stage) for her.  So Joanna, my mom, and I will be seeing The Rolling Stones in Arlington on June 6.

 

It will be Joanna's and my first (and only if this truly is their final tour) time to see the band, but the upcoming event will be my mom's third time to see them live.  Her first Rolling Stones concert was when she was in high school and she drove down to Houston to see the group.  It would be something to be able to experience the same band 50 years apart.  I envy my mom for what she is going to be a part of this coming summer.

 

On an additional note regarding the music list I am listening to at work, I found that the exaggerated singing people do to make fun of Bob Dylan really isn't that far off base of what he actually sounds like.  Also, I was highly impressed with Marvin Gaye's What's Going On.  Didn't realize I would be such a fan of his stuff, but I really liked it.

Rolling Stones' Top 500 Albums

Do you ever get placed next to a coworker with an annoying habit that absolutely drives you nuts, but saying anything would make you look like more of a jerk than the person actually committing the social atrocity?  I am in that situation currently with a gum chewer.

 

While I do have a distaste for everything related to chewing gum, the umbrage I take against her is for popping the gum every 30 seconds.  I sit about 15 feet away from her and every time I hear the pop, or sometimes multi-pop, of the disgusting gum being blown out of her mouth it is like nails on a chalkboard.  I cringe when the sound starts and it takes only about four or five times before I feel my skin crawling and I have to either leave my desk for a long time hoping she ultimately grows tired of the gum or put earphones in and listen to some music through the computer.

 

Since leaving my desk for an hour that isn't my lunch break isn't really going to work out in the long run, I have elected to start listening to different mixes on YouTube.  Finally I decided to listen to what are considered the greatest albums of all time, leading to a list published in Rolling Stone Magazine in 2003.  Obviously it is heavy on rock and roll since that is what the publication has focused on for so long and lists like this are never 100% accurate since music is art and art is subjective, but it at least gives me a jumping off point to listen to some great music that I normally wouldn't ever hear if it isn't played on the radio or I don't already own the CD.

 

Looking through the 500 albums listed, it turns out I had only heard 23 of them in their entirety, and 15 of those were from The Beatles and U2, which I own all of their records.  The other eight albums I had heard were from The White Stripes, Coldplay, The Strokes, Arcade Fire, Miles Davis, The Clash, and Amy Winehouse.

 

As of this morning I added the second album on the list, The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds.  I'm not sure I would say it is the second greatest album of all time, but it was certainly enjoyable.  It did have "Sloop John B" and "God Only Knows," which are great tracks.

 

Having already reveled in the first and third albums on the list from The Beatles, which are Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Revolver, I will be moving along to number four.  This afternoon will be brought to you by Bob Dylan's Highway 61 Revisted.

Book Idea

Every now and again I have a dream or a thought pops in my head that is the smallest grain of an idea for a book.  Sometimes I chase that concept down the rabbit hole and come up with a formulated synopsis or even the vaguest of plots.  However, most just end with me shrugging the entire thing into oblivion, never to be revisited again, which normally comes after watching an episode of Mad Men or a great movie and realizing my level of writing is nowhere near adequate enough to make it to bookshelves.

 

There is one idea I've had in my back pocket for about a year now that I have not yet been discouraged enough to drop.  I have even gone so far as to write out a couple of chapters, only to be thwarted by a busy work schedule or hectic family life, but in all reality it will never likely be completed.

Ordinarily I wouldn't take the time to blog about these book ideas because they ultimately will not go anywhere, but for some reason I had a dream the other night about a time travel story that I thought was interesting and I don't know that it has ever been done before in a way that gained popular traction.  I'm sure this notion has made it into a book or television episode as some point in history, but as far as I know I haven't seen it.

The dream in question was about a group who discovers a way to travel back in time and after fiddling with the most popular uses of time travel, such as making lots of money and changing past decisions in minor ways to have a better life in the present without completely rearranging things that would create a time paradox (are you lost yet Joanna), the team decides to make major historical changes to better mankind.  I haven't ironed out all the details as to what they would do in the past, but the third act would be assassinating a dictator that caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people.

Okay, you might be thinking this sounds very common in time travel stories as every science fiction writer and their dog have created a story about going back in time to stop Oswald from assassinating President Kennedy or killing Hitler some time prior to his reign of Germany, but what makes mine a little different is that it would be of a ruler that nobody has ever heard of.  It would be a fictional dictator of some real civilization and the final chapters of the book would see the group planning and executing the project to stop this fabricated madman.

My Twilight Zone ending for the story would be that once they accomplish their task in the past, by returning to the present they learn of a new person named Adolf Hitler that never existed in the previous timeline and by executing one madman who had caused the killing of less than one million people it led to the ultimate birth of a worse madman who caused the killing of more than six million.  By tampering with a previous timeline that we believe doesn't exist, they created the current timeline we are living now and have no knowledge of ever having had a different course of events.

Like I have said before, I won't do anything with this idea, but I feel like there is just enough there to make it interesting for a Syfy TV movie or paperback adventure story found on a Half-Price Bookstore shelf.

Spectre Teaser Trailer

We have gotten our first glipse at the newest James Bond movie, Spectre.  The teaser trailer was released today and, like its predecessor Skyfall, reveals just enough to get viewers excited about the latest 007 thriller without giving too much away just yet.  In fact, what makes the Spectre teaser so unique is there is absolutely no action shots whatsoever.

You can take a look at the teaser trailer over here.

You can certainly see the continuation of what Mendes did with Skyfall in the mood and camerawork, despite having a new cinematographer.  I like that Mr. White has returned since he was a loose end left over from Quantum of Solace and the old SPECTRE ring from the Connery films was a nice touch.

I'm not thrilled with what is being alluded to with Bond having a family, biological or adoptive it is not yet clear, connection to the film's antagonist, but being that the teaser trailer doesn't give much away this could be a purposeful misdirection.  I'm not yet ready to call the entire thing a failure because of this like some are already doing.

Well, until the full-length trailer or an announcement of who is performing the film's theme song is released, this will have to tide me over, but it is certainly a great tease to what will come.

Is Furious 7 Oscar's Next Best Picture?

When promoting an upcoming movie, actors will say a lot of crazy things to get the media talking about their film.  This serves a three-fold purpose: it gets the word of mouth out about their movie, it peaks curiosity that in turn drives people to buy tickets and see what the fuss is all about, and, finally, it breaks up the monotony of hundreds of press conferences over a span of a few weeks.

 

Actors are people too, just like you and me.  They get bored answering the same questions over and over again.  Sometimes they have to let loose and have some fun with it.  But I don’t think that is what Vin Diesel was doing in his latest interview with Variety regarding Furious 7 and I’ll explain why.

 

First let’s start with what he actually said:

 

"Universal is going to have the biggest movie in history with this movie," Diesel told Variety. "It will probably win best picture at the Oscars, unless the Oscars don't want to be relevant ever."

 

He went on and said, "This will win best picture. There is nothing that will ever come close to the power of this thing."

 

Did you hear that?  Nothing will ever come close to the power of this thing.  Sorry Schindler's List, your message just isn't powerful enough.  12 Years a Slave, you just aren't moving enough to usurp Furious 7 from its emotional throne of power.  Get out of here Casablanca.

 

Most that read that will have one of two reactions.  The first, and more popular, response is that Diesel has finally reached the point of stardom where reality is no longer a feasible plane of existence.  His ego has swelled so much because of the Fast and Furious franchise that his self-awareness is taking an extended vacation.

 

The other line of feedback to Diesel’s quotes is that he is clearly joking.  I personally don’t think he is joking and I will get to that in a moment.  But first let’s review why his line of thought is, similar to his famous street racing film franchise, daft and delirious.

 

It is no secret that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences believes the coveted Best Picture Oscar is reserved for artsy, dramatic films that include perfect performances from its actors, innovative filmmaking from its directors, thought-provoking screenplays from its writers, and awe-inspiring work from the remaining crewmembers that receive accolades on awards night, including cinematographers, production artists, make-up and costume designers, visual and sound effect artists, and soundtrack composers.  Popcorn thrillers and franchise fluff such as comic book movies and action blockbusters don’t receive nominations for Best Picture.  In fact, it has only been in the last six years since the Best Picture field was expanded to more than five movies that films not falling into the genres of dramas, biographical, and art-house are getting better chances at being nominated, let alone winning.

 

In this new era of the Academy that recognizes more than just five films as the best possible movie of the year, it is still full of the regular fare, but it has also seen an uptick in the amount of action-based and science fiction movies that receive a nomination.  Last year’s American Sniper is one such example.  While it is still a biographical drama, much of the movie includes war-based action, and the film likely would not have made the cut if the Academy had kept its number of nominees at five.

 

Other recent action/science fiction/thriller films to receive a Best Picture nod likely due to the expanded number of nominations going around include Captain Phillips, Inception, Inglourious Basterds, District 9, and Avatar.  I left off Gravity, with much of its plot revolving around space survival action sets, and The Hurt Locker, another war action thriller, because both films would have survived the round of five, especially since The Hurt Locker won in its year.  I could maybe see Inglourious Basterds making the cut, but it would have been close.

 

Prior to the change in rules that allowed for more than just five movies to receive a Best Picture nominee, it wasn’t unheard of for action, science fiction, and fantasy films to have a chance.  Letters from Iwo Jima, another war picture from the director of American Sniper, was nominated in 2006 and in 2003, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King won the Best Picture award, the first and only fantasy film to ever do so.

 

What I’m trying to say is Vin Diesel might be correct in arguing for the inclusion of more action movies in the Best Picture nominee pool, but where his theory hits an oil slick and spins out of control is whether the Fast and Furious franchise is worthy enough of such an accolade.  My opinions regarding the misery it is to sit through those movies, which I’ve done on all but the third one titled The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, are too broad to get into right now, so let’s get back to why I think it is Diesel isn’t joking when he says the latest entry in the franchise is Oscar worthy.

 

Anyone with even a mild interest in Hollywood and the film industry knows of the major incident that happened during the filming of Furious 7, but just in case you aren’t part of that group I will inform.  Diesel’s co-star and close friend Paul Walker died in a car crash not related to the movie.  It delayed filming and a decision had to be made as to whether they continued on with changes to the story, recasting Walker’s character, or scrapping things altogether.  It was ultimately decided to proceed with the movie and make some changes to Walker’s character.

 

Since the passing of Walker, Diesel has been very outspoken about how personal this movie is to him and the importance of completing it as a tribute to Walker’s memory.  Because of the off-screen death of his friend, Diesel has made it quite clear that this is a very personal film for him.  I don’t believe that he would make light of the movie’s story or acting by claiming it is Oscar worthy when it is pretty common knowledge that a movie like that wouldn’t stand a chance with Academy voters.  In my opinion, making a statement that the movie is Oscar bait and not believing it to be true when Diesel should clearly know better somewhat mocks Walker’s final movie and belittles his career since the Fast and Furious franchise is what he will be remembered for.

 

Diesel cares too much for this movie series and even more for his late friend to make a frivolous statement about Furious 7 being an Academy Award Best Picture if he didn’t mean it.  Now as for whether he’s driving with a full tank of NOS or not is another story.

Spectre Teaser Poster To Be Released (Update)

With the excitement of a new 007 movie coming out later this year, there are certain milestones along the way that build the anticipation of what will come later.  One of those moments is the unveiling of posters and artwork for the film.  It has been announced that some time later today the teaser poster will be revealed.

 

Following the announcement of the cast and film's title, the teaser poster is the next step of promotional material for a film.  Subsequent events are the teaser preview, character posters, theatrical trailer, and the announcement of who will perform the title song.

 

The teaser poster, like the teaser trailer, usually doesn't provide much in the way of plot, but it is still an exciting day in the life of a Bond fan.  Here are a few teaser posters from previous Daniel Craig-led 007 films.

 

Casino Royale



 

Quantum of Solace

 

Skyfall

 

Update:  And the poster has been released to the Internet.  Several websites are reporting the look, while very basic and giving away absolutely nothing, is a great throwback to Roger Moore in Live and Let Die.  Like I mentioned before, teaser posters (and trailers) are exactly what they suggest to be, teases.  Take a look for yourself.

Here is what Moore's turtleneck-wearing outfit looked like in his first outing as British super-spy James Bond.

The next milestone in the journey for Spectre to reach the big screen is the teaser trailer, which is slated to be shown March 28.  At that time we will have a bit better idea what the next adventure 007 will be on to save queen and country.

Not Enough Time In The Day

There is so much I would like to blog about right now.  I've got some hot sports opinions on racial issues that get into the Oklahoma University issue and Chip Kelly's football transactions.  After watching Gone Girl the other night I would like to do a feature on director David Fincher that would include a ranking of his filmography, because anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows that I love lists.  I've also wanted to touch on a story Margot Robbie recently told regarding her screen test for the film Focus, which would lead into my most updated Top 5 "Freebie" list of celebrity women because, again, I just love lists.

 

But I am just too busy at work and with three kids and now a dog, yes we got a dog, to corral at home I simply haven't had time to devote to writing like I once did.  I hope to set aside some time soon to focus on something of interest.  In the meantime, for your viewing pleasure I recommend Birdman, The Imitation Game, Whiplash, or the newest episodes of House of Cards, just recently released through Netflix in the last two weeks.

The 87th Academy Awards Backlash Has Begun

The same thing happens every year.  You can almost set your clock by it.  As soon as the broadcast comes to a close for the Academy Awards, people flock to the Internet to criticize all things Oscar.  From the length of the telecast (which is actually pretty valid) and the bits that failed to the polarizing acceptance speeches, the same people that during the weeks leading up to the Academy Awards ceremony claim how antiquated and irrelevant the Oscars are immediately start chiming in on what the Academy got wrong.  And there is nothing that gets folks in more of a tizzy than the movie that wins Best Picture.  A movie could win the top prize at the Academy Awards and be a better feature than The Godfather, Casablanca, Citizen Kane, and Gone with the Wind combined, but there will still be the detractors out there that claim, “That movie sucked.  It didn’t deserve Best Picture!”

 

Last year the group that rallied against 12 Years a Slave, which in my humble opinion was the greatest feature film of the year, had to preface their derogatory remarks with, “I’m not racist, but ….”  While the Academy Awards is the biggest of all the awards shows when it comes to filmmaking accolades, that doesn’t mean it is the be all, end all in deciding what is and is not the best picture, or who had the best performances/work from movies the previous year.  Sure, they are usually in the right ballpark when the announcement is made at the end of the night as to what gets to tout itself as the greatest film from that year, but mistakes are made.  I will go to my grave believing that Saving Private Ryan was robbed the Best Picture statue.

 

So it came as no big surprise that starting on Monday the criticisms of Birdman being the best movie of the year really ramped up.  A repetitive theme in the snarky comments was the win came as a result of the Academy showing love for its own group because Birdman is about the life of acting/Hollywood.  Essentially the argument is that movies about Hollywood/actors will win more because it is Hollywood/actors voting for the films.

 

At face value and without any actual evidence to support or oppose that claim, I feel like that is a somewhat ludicrous premise.  The Academy members that vote for the best picture of the year are made up of not just actors, but also directors, casting directors, cinematographers, costume designers, editors, executives, producers, public relations people, sound and visual effects employees, writers, and others.  The thought that actors are only going to vote for a movie as best picture because it features their own profession would be a valid one if the majority of the voters were just that single line of business, but with 17 categories of Academy members it would take a lot more than just the actors’ votes to make a film about Hollywood the best of the year.

 

So now let’s look at past winners.  In the 87 years the Oscars have been happening, a total of six movies associated with Hollywood or the acting profession (which I am including Broadway in that category) have been crowned the best.  Those films include The Broadway Melody, The Great Ziegfeld, All About Eve, The Artist, Argo, and Birdman.  That puts movies about movies winning the best movie award at a 6.8% win rate.  In fact, there are three genres that have a better win rate, and they are war films, biopics, and epic period pieces.  Dramas about British life have also won six times.

 

It is worth noting that three of the past four winners have been about the Hollywood industry, but prior to that you have to go all the way back to 1950 to find a Best Picture winner that involved acting.

 

Looking at the eight nominees from this year’s ceremony, claiming Birdman was the obvious winner because it was about Hollywood could be a valid one if it weren’t for the films it was up against.  War films, biopics, and epic period pieces, historically, have a better chance of being named the best picture, and dramas about British life have an equally good chance.  So really, the movies that fall into genres with a similar or better winning percentage at the Oscars include American Sniper (war/biopic), The Imitation Game (war/biopic/British life), Selma (biopic), and The Theory of Everything (biopic).

 

If you want to make a case for why one of the other nominated films is the worthy winner, that is fine, but don’t disparage Birdman because of an unproven theory about Hollywood and the Academy members.

Hit And Run

The title of this post is quite the tease.  It probably made you think I was in some sort of accident recently and you are anticipating a riveting piece about how my neck cracked in three places or I chased the guy down on foot.  Sadly it has nothing to do with any of those scenarios.

 

Really I just hadn't posted anything for a little while and didn't have much to say, so this will be a short entry and then I am out of here.  Hence, hit and run.

 

This past weekend Joanna, my friend Evan, and I attended the AMC Theater Best Picture Showcase event, which screens all the best picture nominees from the upcoming Academy Awards.  Last Saturday we saw The Grand Budapest Hotel, Whiplash, Birdman, and Selma.  They were all really good.  I was anticipating Birdman the most, but I think I enjoyed The Grand Budapest Hotel the most.

 

The upcoming shows for Saturday will be Boyhood, The Theory of Everything, The Imitation Game, and American Sniper.  Following the marathon of movie watching that day, I will then make my way to Weatherford that night for some cards.  I then have church the next morning and finally the Academy Awards ceremony that night.  It is going to be a long two days.

 

That really about does it for me.  If something of great interest happens soon I will try to get it on here.



Need An Acura MDX Tire Changed? Call Me.

This past weekend I went on a couple's retreat just north of Broken Bow, Oklahoma, with the Zumwalts for a little relaxation away from the children.  It was also a birthday/Valentine's gift for Joanna and Brandy since their birthdays are in January and February.

 

On the final day of our weekend, Danny and I went to pack the car about an hour before check-out and found one of the tires to Joanna's car flat (it was actually Joanna who first noticed the problem).  While flat tires are an annoyance no matter what time of day or where you are, this ended up being the biggest hassle I have had in quite a while.

 

It should be noted, I am a tire changing master.  I've had Moby, my current Toyota Camry, since 2001 and in that time I have probably changed 10 flat tires.  While I still greatly fear the vehicle falling off the carjack and crushing the life out of me, I am quite proficient in the art of changing a tire.  However, this was the first time I had ever had to change a tire on a 2006 Acura MDX.  Well, after the ordeal on Sunday, I am now an expert for that car as well.

 

Once the problem was identified, Danny and I went into man mode.  We slowly moved the car to the paved street (since the parking area at the cabin was made of loose rocks and I really didn't want to end the trip on a bummer with a 5,500-pound SUV falling on top of me or Danny) and found most of the necessary tools needed to change the tire to the donut spare.  I say most of the tools because it turns out that Joanna's car has a special wheel nut on each tire that requires a key to loosen and remove.  Being my first time to change a tire on her car, I didn't realize this until the other four nuts had been loosened.  It took a quick Google search (because the Acura's owner's manual didn't tell us this) to learn that the key needed to remove the special wheel nut was located in the glove box.

 

So I now had all the wheel nuts removed, the flat tire taken off, and the spare donut tire put on.  We tightened everything up, lowered the car off the jack, put the tools back where they belonged, and moved the car to see if everything was working properly.  Everything was not working properly.

 

As soon as I rolled the wheel a whole revolution, Danny said the air inside the wheel completely dissipated and the tire went as flat as the original one.  The next idea was to put the original flat tire in Danny's trunk and drive to Broken Bow in order to get a new tire or patch the bad one.  About three miles away from the cabin, with another 8 miles to go into town, we decided to try something different.

 

Surprisingly, Danny's spare tire for his Kia was the same size as our Acura.  It just so happened to match up, because if the Acura had been a year younger or Danny's Kia had been a year older, things would not have worked out to where we could put Danny's spare on our car.  So we went back to the cabin, got the tools back out, jacked the car up again, replaced our spare with Danny's, and began lowering the vehicle.  As I was bringing the car down, Danny's spare tire was slowly getting flatter and flatter.  Yet, it didn't go all the way down.  That was progress.

 

There was enough air in the spare tire to get to the nearby gas station and fill it up.  I slowly navigated Joanna's car with Joanna and the Zumwalts following in their car to the gas station and we filled both Danny's tire and my spare tire up to the max pressure.  Danny and I decided having his spare, which was built for a vehicle half the size of our SUV, was probably not great to leave on for more than a few miles.  So what did we do?  It's time to change spare tires again.  For those counting, this is now the third time we have gone through this process and we still haven't gotten a proper-sized tire to go on the car.  We jacked the SUV up, got the tools out, took Danny's spare off, put our spare on, lowered the SUV back down, put the tools away, and decided to start driving to a tire shop.

 

You might not be surprised to learn that few tire shops are open on a Sunday.  The closest place we could find online was a Sears Automotive in Paris, Texas, which was approximately 65 miles away.  On the off chance that our spare tire blew out, the SUV flipped a couple of times, and I was ejected from the vehicle to my death, it was decided that I would drive Joanna's car alone and she ride in the safe car with the Zumwalts.  It was okay.  I had 50s on 5 with Sirius XM radio.

 

After an hour-and-a-half of driving we made it to the Sears Automotive in Paris.  And wouldn't you know it, the iPhone had lied to us.  The automotive portion of the store was closed.  I felt like Clark Griswold arriving at Wally World, except there was no robotic moose to punch in the nose.

 

At this point, which was 2 p.m. and nobody had eaten since breakfast that morning, we decided to just ride it out on the donut all the way to Arlington and I would worry about it on Monday.  As we were searching for a place to eat, Danny and I decided to drive the extra hour to Greenville and dine at a Chinese restaurant we are fond of.  We had found it during a friend's wedding that our wives were a part of and since then had returned a couple of times when visiting the area or passing through.

 

While driving to Greenville, Joanna found an NTB located there that was open until 6 p.m.  We dropped the car off, went and ate our Chinese food with the Zums, and returned to get our car, which would have four good wheels and new oil in the engine, at about 4:30.  The car wasn't finished yet because they couldn't find the key to remove the special wheel nut.  I had put it in the back seat with the other tire removal tools, which was neither where the key belonged nor the tools.  I had just put them there in order to get to them faster should I have to change the tire again at some point on the way from Broken Bow to the tire shop.

 

We were finally on the road in complete working order at about 5 p.m.  Our original plan was to be home about 3 to get the boys from my mom.  We didn't end up pulling into our driveway until 6:30 and she brought our children to us.

Long story short, if you need your tire changed, don't call me.  The title to this post originally was requesting your phone calls, but after Sunday's debacle I've done that chore enough for a while.

Couples Retreat: Gambling, Relaxation & Nature

Today's working hours are going to feel like forever because when the clock hits five Joanna and I are off to Oklahoma for a weekend of no kids.  We eventually will be joining the Zumwalts in Broken Bow, but our first leg of the trip will be to WinStar for some poker time and a free hotel room.  WinStar sends me free hotel nights every month, but I am never able to use them because it is only redeemable Sunday night through Thursday night.  Since I have a 9-5 job, getting to stay for free usually isn't possible unless I take a vacation day like I am doing for this trip.

 

After the gambling is over tonight and tomorrow morning, we will make our way to Broken Bow, where Danny and Brandy will be awaiting our arrival at a cabin we have rented.  We have made this trip before, but it was with the kids.  This time we are free of our parental obligations until Sunday.  It will be glorious!  Hopefully I have good stories for my other blog about my poker winnings.

 

On a sadder note, my friend Evan's father passed away last weekend.  A funeral service is scheduled Monday afternoon.  My thoughts and prayers go out to Evan and his mom while they have to work through this unfortunate transition in life.  I have not yet lost a parent and could not possibly know how hard it is, but I know that God is with Evan during this time and his friends will also help in any way we can.

'Spectre' Singer Betting Odds

So with 23 previous theme songs chronicled, who is currently the favorite rumored to be headlining the next 007 feature song?  As of the beginning of this year, “Stay with Me” crooner Sam Smith leads the pack at 4-1 odds.

 

The full roster of performing acts you can bet on include:

 

Sam Smith (pictured) 4-1

Ed Sheeran 6-1

Lana Del Ray 8-1

Rita Ora 8-1

One Direction 8-1

Ellie Goulding 10-1

Coldplay 10-1

Adele 12-1

Taylor Swift 12-1

Katy Perry 16-1

Thirty Seconds to Mars 16-1

Florence and the Machine 16-1

Lady Gaga 16-1

Tom Jones 16-1

 

As of a week ago The Daily Mirror was reporting that Adele was flown to Los Angeles to record potential new music for the film.  There are no sources backing this claim up, but if it is true, that puts Adele’s 12-1 odds at a really great bet.

 

Current James Bond actor Daniel Craig and 007 producers have made it very clear how happy they were with Adele’s contribution to the previous film, Skyfall, so bringing her back for another theme song isn’t completely out of left field.  If Adele were selected again, she would be only the second artist in history of the film series to record more than one song.  Shirley Bassey sang the theme songs for Goldfinger, Diamonds are Forever, and Moonraker.