James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 12

Today's entry in the domestic one-sheet poster list is partly the reason I started this series.  While the marketing artwork for Dr. No used in the U.S.A. in 1963, which was a year after its initial release in the United Kingdom where superspy James Bond hails from, isn't my favorite of the series, its French counterpart is.

 

 

12. Dr. No

As you've probably noticed by now, I find the hand-drawn posters more appealing than Photoshopped works.  So it is no surprise that breaking into the top half of the rankings is a poster with imagery completely created by hand and no still photos from the feature film are used.  Sean Connery, as our hero 007, is lazily holding his gun pointed at the ground and featured next to him are the women seen throughout the movie, dressed in the sexiest outfits they are found in at whatever point in the film, and in one case only a towel is covering her naughty parts.  The use of different colors for each girl also gives the poster a little pop that matches the title sequence of Dr. No.

 

However, like I said earlier, the above image is not my favorite for the debut film of the series.  That honor goes to the French Grande poster.  The artists used the same design for a few of the French posters, but changed the color on the right side of the frame where the title of the film is found.  My preferred of the three that exist is the pink stripped version.

 

 

The image of Bond doesn't change much from the one found in the U.S. poster, but I really like the more obscure drawings of the female faces on this poster and the way the colors are drawn on like they were done in a rush to add color.  The entire thing comes together very nicely and, like the U.S. poster, the variance in colors really makes the poster stand out.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 13

After so many of these entries about movie posters, you have probably noticed a common design theme with nearly every single promotional poster throughout the James Bond series.  It seems that many of these posters show 007 flanked by pretty women and selected action sequences or explosions scattered around the centered characters.  So what differentiates one poster from the next?  Well, I don't really have a good answer for that, but let's take the next film in this series and use it as an example of why it ranks where it does.

 

 

13. Moonraker

Following the 10th film in the series, The Spy Who Loved Me, Bond producer Albert "Cubby" Broccoli had planned to release For Your Eyes Only in 1979.  However, with the box office success and increased interest in science fiction following the release of Star Wars, it was decided to delay For Your Eyes Only and instead turn Fleming's novel Moonraker into the next feature film.

 

The U.S. one-sheet poster for Moonraker is quite similar to previous and later 007 posters.  James Bond is surrounded by girls, villains, and danger.  Truly, the only major difference between this and the marketing material for something like Diamonds are Forever or Tomorrow Never Dies is that Roger Moore is seen wearing a space suit instead of a tuxedo, which is to go along with the outer space theme of the film.  This leads me to ask again, what makes this artwork better or worse than the others used in the Bond series?

 

Other than the fact that Bond is seen in outer space, not too much of the plot is given away.  There is also the sex appeal of the women's costumes, which are very near to what is actually worn in the movie, but with a little more accent on cleavage and upper thighs.  Those two things combined make this poster stand out a little more than the ones that came before it on my list.

 

The above design was used in most of the marketing throughout the globe.  There was a different creation used, labeled U.S. One-Sheet Style B, that included more action sequences from the movie.

 

 

This poster uses more hand-drawn artwork and the space station's wings are canvases to show off the stunt work from the picture.  However, Moore and Lois Chiles are practically copied and pasted over from the other promotional material.  I don't necessarily think the Style B poster is better than the poster at the top because it gives a bit too much away from the movie's action scenes.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 14

The domestic one-sheet poster that comes in at number 14 on the list is definitely a product of its time, with much of the page layout taken up by taglines and text.

 

 

14. From Russia With Love

My favorite James Bond film has a poster that includes a lot of good action and still photographs from the film, but those images are regulated to a half-page size.  Posters in the 1960s relied less on photographs selling the film and more on expository fanfare from its writers.  Taglines have always been used on posters, but it wasn't until about a decade after James Bond films started getting made that taglines were regulated to one or two sentences.

 

 

The other material used to promote From Russia With Love, labeled Style B and seen above, enlarges its images of 007, alone with different women featured in the movie, but it still restricts the amount of space allowed because of marketing parlance.  This version also drops all sneak peeks at any action that might be taking place.

 

 

The greatest use of a poster for From Russia With Love was found in France, which not only used a style of drawing the characters, instead of using still photographs from the film or taken by the production company's photography department, but also implemented a use of colors that is lacking in the U.S. one-sheets.  It also balances the amount of action and sex behind a large image of our hero, who is front and center in his customary gun pose.

Easily Distracted

I was hoping to post something today in my James Bond poster series or maybe rank the Marvel Cinematic Universe films through Phase 2, but I've become distracted by an online auction for props from the television series Mad Men.  Items range from clothing and household props to commercial items like restaurant menus and to go bags.  I plan on spending my afternoon sifting through the hundreds of items available to bid on in the next week and get it down to maybe 25-50 that I can keep an eye on as the auction winds down.  It would be thrilling to own a piece of history from one of the greatest shows in the history of television.  I doubt I will end up being the winning bidder for anything, but I plan on trying to get at least one thing as a collector's item by the end of bidding next Friday.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 15

The next poster in this series is for Sean Connery's last official outing as British spy James Bond, and the designers behind the artwork didn't put in too many man hours to come up with anything other than this main design.

 

 

15. Diamonds are Forever

The above poster, released in American cinema theaters in 1971, is quite similar to what the rest of the world saw.  It was the same concept in America, Europe, and Asia to have 007, standing in his typical Connery pose, surrounded by two beautiful ladies.  Both women have diamonds piled in their palms and the three characters are being propped up by the mechanical arm of an odd-looking vehicle.  Behind Bond and the women is a barrage of explosions and helicopters.

 

While there are other Bond posters that are probably more appealing than this one that have already been revealed lower on this list of my favorite U.S. one-sheet posters, this one ranked higher than those due to the glitz and glamour of the ladies and the diamonds, which is due to the main location Bond visits in Diamonds are Forever.  007 ends up spending a good amount of time in Las Vegas, and it is because of that, which the casino showgirls and shiny jewels signify in the poster, that made me put this one a little higher on my list than it probably should be.  I have been to Vegas several times and recognize numerous of the locations seen in that part of the movie.

 

Like I mentioned before, the image you see above was used almost exclusively in the world-wide marketing of Diamonds are Forever.  There really isn't a better poster than that one, so again, like I did with Goldeneye, I will show some fan-made artwork.

 

 

This retro design includes actual characters from the film, instead of two random women who are only hanging out with Bond because of their level of attractiveness.  In fact, the prominent images seen in this poster are of the two henchmen, Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd.  In the background is where our hero can be found standing atop an elevator car.  Although the elevator Bond is standing on isn't the one the artist is alluding toward, one of the most thrilling action scenes found in the film takes place in an elevator in the first half of the picture.

 

 

This final piece of art design showcases photo stills from the movie.  The remaining space is taken up with cascading diamonds and casino chips, which is appropriate considering the Las Vegas location.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 16

Of the four promotional art pieces used to market his films while playing the role of 007, Pierce Brosnan saw the same formula three times in a row: Bond surrounded by a couple of beauties with explosions and action set pieces jumping off the page in some spot either below or above the stars of the film.  Only the domestic one-sheet poster from Brosnan's final outing as the superspy James Bond, Die Another Day, differed with a more minimalist approach to the design.  Among the posters from his first three adventures, this is the best.

 

 

16. Goldeneye

Considering the three films that used the same theme and art design for its posters were released between 1995-1999, I chalk up the repetitive motif to the time period they were created.  It is like today's posters that have its actors avoiding eye contact with the camera, staring off at some unknown and looming threat.

 

So to say that the U.S. one-sheet poster for Goldeneye is the best of the Brosnan era isn't the same thing as saying it is one of the best promotional pieces of the entire series.  I mean, it does barely slide into the middle tier of the 24 films Eon has made featuring James Bond.

 

Like Tomorrow Never Dies and The World is not Enough, Goldeneye has Bond flanked by the two actresses portraying the leading ladies of the picture and the remainder of the frame is filled with explosions and the movie's title/credits.  This one probably beat out the other two Brosnan posters simply because it is the better movie of the three.  There really isn't much to differentiate the three in originality though.

 

This is where I would normally show my favorite official artwork used from around the globe to promote Goldeneye and explain what it is that makes it better than the domestic one-sheet.  Unfortunately, the U.S. one-sheet is the best poster from everything I could find online.  So instead I am going to show off some fan-made artwork.  It should be noted, the below images contain spoiler-ish stuff.  If you haven't seen Goldeneye and plan to, don't scroll down.

 

 

This would never be used in today's era of pictorial marketing since it gives the viewer nearly nothing, but if you have seen the film then you are very aware of who that is supposed to be, and it looks quite great as a teaser poster.

 

 

The pencil drawing design is interesting and the title and film credits would need to be added somewhere, but overall this is a solid piece of work.  It also includes a pretty iconic, but often overlooked, image from the movie.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 17

The next promotional artwork in my ranking of the domestic posters from the James Bond film series used several different styles and images during its promotion in the United States.

 

 

12. You Only Live Twice

The marketing department for You Only Live Twice either couldn't make a final decision on which drawing they wanted to go with or the advertising direction was to lambaste moviegoers with multiple elements of the film's action and sex appeal.

 

The first poster, labeled U.S. One-Sheet Style A, can be seen above.  It has a lot going on with an inverted Bond walking along a catwalk-like ladder high above a fiery pit with helicopters and rockets buzzing around him.  This poster, the first of three that were considered the theatrical posters used to promote the film, is an exciting one and does an excellent job of giving the viewer an idea of what to expect in the movie.

 

The following is the U.S. One-Sheet Style B.

 

 

This one also uses the helicopters from the previous poster, but includes a fan-favorite gadget from the quartermaster, or Q.  The gyrocopter, named Little Nellie in the film, has become one of the iconic vehicles from the 007 series.  And like so many other photos from the posters of James Bond movies, Sean Connery, playing the British secret agent, plays it super cool in his trademark pose, not even bothering to steer Little Nellie for fear he might be perceived as less dapper than what audiences had come to expect of their favorite spy.

 

The final domestic theatrical poster, the U.S. One-Sheet Style C, played up the sensual tastes of Bond movies.

 

 

Bond is found in a bathtub surrounded by beautiful Japanese women, being bathed, among other things that are assumed with the way some of those women are rubbing up against him.  Not wanting to forget that this is an action film, the artist included a woman, seen on the far right, bathing Bond's firearm.  That campy bit of detail makes me laugh every time I see it.

 

Probably my favorite poster for You Only Live Twice is the U.S. One-Sheet Advance.  The page is mostly taken up with popular images from the previous four adventures with the only new artwork being the film's title and Bond taking to his "cool as a cucumber" pose at the bottom holding an astronaut's helmet.  While the poster doesn't do much in the way of promoting the upcoming movie, it is a nice collection piece for the first five films of, what was at that point, one of the most popular series ever.

 

Another reason I like all of the You Only Live Twice posters is the tagline "This man (Sean Connery) IS James Bond."  The story behind that tagline is an unofficial Bond movie was being released the same year as You Only Live Twice and it starred major names like David Niven, Peter Sellers, Woody Allen, Orson Wells, William Holden, and Deborah Kerr.  It even included former Bond girl Ursula Andress.  The rival movie was Casino Royale, which was the only Ian Fleming book that the producers at Eon didn't have the rights to film in the official series at that time.  Promoters of You Only Live Twice wanted to let audiences know that even though they had a choice of which James Bond to see that year, their version was the one they knew and loved.

 

It turns out they didn't need to do much to remind audiences which was the better series as the spoof version of Casino Royale, five directors later, turned out to be a hot mess.  It is widely considered to be chaotic and unfunny.

Nolan Ryan : Derek Holland :: American Hero : ???

While at the Ranger game Sunday night with the family, my daughter, son and I took a walk around the ballpark (twice) during the disaster of a finale in a three-game sweep by the Los Angeles Angels.  The purpose of our walk was to kill time, find the dollar ice cream kiosk, and see the sights of the Ballpark in Arlington (I refuse to call the stadium by its official name).  After taking a photo of the kids standing with the Nolan Ryan statue behind center field, my 7-year-old daughter, Emery, asked who Nolan Ryan was.  I explained that he was a great pitcher who ended his career and put up some amazing stats at the end of that career while playing for the Texas Rangers.  I also included the footnote that he returned later, but has since left, to work in the front office.

 

Soon after we came upon some memorabilia for sale and among the bats, balls, and framed photos for sale was the famous fight between Ryan and Robin Ventura, where Ryan has Ventura in a headlock and is pounding away.  The framed and autographed item for sale also included a picture of Ryan after the fight with blood smeared on his jersey and dripping from his nose.

 

Emery, seeing the picture, asked who it was that was bleeding and why.  So, being the baseball fan I am and wanting to pass along knowledge of the game and its colorful history, I told her and Jack about the tale of Nolan Ryan's victory over Ventura.  It was a fierce campaign that started because of an errant throw.  Ventura, offended due to being struck by the projectile, charged our hero on the mound of battle.  One would think that youth would prevail, but no, it was wisdom and grit that won the day.  Ryan, who had 20 years on Ventura, got him in a submissive hold and delivered a continuous, and seeming endless, number of blows to the head.  The hero and villain's allies cleared the benches and 32,000 onlookers delighted in the savagery.  It was a good day and to the victor went the spoils.

 

Once finished with my heroic ode to Nolan Ryan, Emery asked about the guy in the picture next to Nolan.  "Oh," I responded, "that's Derek Holland.  He's a goofball."  And off we walked.

 

 

Fast & Furious 6 Runway Debate Solved

Since watching the sixth entry in the Fast and the Furious franchise, I have had a huge question regarding the plot (I know, clean storytelling in this film series is a lot to ask).  Needless to say, if you haven’t seen the movie and don’t want it spoiled, you probably don’t want to read any further.

 

Are you still here?  Okay then.  We will proceed.

 

The finale of the movie takes place on an airstrip with cars in pursuit of a massive cargo plane.  With stunt work, fistfights, car crashes, and explosions going on for nearly 13 heart-thumping, adrenaline-fueled minutes, once the credits rolled my first question to Joanna was, “Soooooooooo, how long was that runway?”

 

 

Apparently, I am not the only one that noticed the seemingly endless amount of concrete that allowed for the breathtaking moments found during the Fast & Furious 6 climax.  The Internet is littered with people ripping the movie for this exact question, along with another ludicrous stunt that involves jumping across a highway and catching a person in midair at 100 miles an hour (without even a broken bone or fractured rib to show for it).

 

During the final action sequence, the cars and plane travel in excess of 100 mph for approximately 12-and-a-half minutes, resulting in countless, and sane, viewers wanting to scream out, “No airstrip is this long!”  Likely the only reason they didn’t do so in the theater is that we save our condemnation for stupid filmmaking for the Internet, where infuriated reviews belong.  That way we don’t have to defend our opinions with reasons or facts, but can simply let loose for 150 profanity-laced words on a message board and there are no consequences to reckon with the next day.

 

Well, I pretty much let it go and chalked it up to poetic license in order to ramp up the action for a film series known for preposterous set pieces (i.e. dragging a safe the size of my dining room through Rio de Janeiro).  And I was willing to let sleeping dogs lie, but then they had to continue on with the franchise and after seeing Fast & Furious 7, I just had to look into this runway issue.

 

Like I mentioned before, I am not the only one who was curious about how long of a runway would be needed to support the amount of action that took place at the end of Fast & Furious 6.  Pop culture website vulture.com even took a crack at answering the question for those who were too lazy to do the actual research.  Their work can be seen here.

 

The problem with the linked article is that it doesn’t take into account that some of the action overlaps for multiple characters.  In fact, that brings us to the remarks made by those who defend the film’s ending.  The most popular defense is, “People need to realize that a director has to show so many things going on at the same time.  If you viewed everything at the same time it would show exactly what is happening all at once and extremely cut down the length of time the plane was trying to take off.”  Another way of wording that is from this poster who stated, “The runway wasn’t long actually.  LOL.  When you put all the scenes of the different actions together in real time it’s a total of about four minutes.”  There is even a video on YouTube that strengthens this point of view.

 

Another popular argument states, “All the complaints about the runway and people are guessing how fast the plane was going.  Until you know how fast it was going you can’t prove the scene was unrealistic.”

 

While Vulture did get some of the facts wrong due to not overlapping characters sharing the same actions at the same time during the movie, they did provide some helpful scientific information.  Thanks to cast interviews and information from the president of the Independent Pilots Association, we can calculate how fast the cars and plane were traveling at different points during the scene.  So with that information, and the research I did on my own with a repeated viewing of the film, I can safely calculate how fast the vehicles were traveling and how much distance the runway travels.

 

First I would like to thank Vulture for getting me the details regarding rate of speed, but knowing how fast each character was traveling at any specific moment in the movie is only half the problem.  You must also figure out how much screen time every character received.  Below is a list of the characters (including the plane itself as it gets some alone time during shots) and how much time they spend during the movie’s climatic battle:

Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) – 3 minutes, 12 seconds

Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) – 4 minutes, 6 seconds

Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) – 3 minutes, 24 seconds

Letty Ortiz (Michelle Rodriguez) – 3 minutes, 9 seconds

Mia Toretto (Jordana Brewster) – 3 minutes, 54 seconds

Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) – 4 minutes, 34 seconds

Tej Parker (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges) – 4 minutes, 36 second

Han (Sung Kang) – 3 minutes, 18.5 seconds (the half-second is because of slow-motion)

Gisele Yashar (Gal Gadot) – 2 minutes, 49.5 seconds (again, slow motion caused a half-second)

Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) – 2 minutes, 49 seconds

Riley Hicks (Gina Carano) – 2 minutes, 12 seconds

Klaus (Kim Kold) – 1 minute, 40 seconds

Vegh (Clara Paget) – 1 minute, 22 seconds

Henchmen in Car 1 – 2 minutes, 36 seconds

Henchmen in Car 2 – 3 minutes, 24.5 seconds (the final participants during slow motion)

Pilots – 1 minute, 20 seconds

Plane – 1 minute, 22 seconds

 

The way I figured this out was by renting the movie from Netflix and watching the finale, stopping and starting each time a new character was introduced.  I am very confident my calculations are correct, but you are more than welcome to do the same and see if I have made an error anywhere.

 

Going off the amount of time each character is seen during the finale, it turns out Tej Parker has the most screen time.  Who would have thought?  To give the naysayers as much benefit of the doubt as possible, we will assume that the longest possible time it could have taken for the scene to unfold in real-time with everything overlapping for every character would be 4 minutes and 36 seconds.

 

However, you can’t simply take that number and multiply it out by a certain speed because during the scene the plane is shown slowing down and speeding up.  To break this down even further, I have used the technical information from the Vulture article to show that Tej was traveling at 100 mph when the plane comes into view, 115 mph once the plane lands on the runway, 143 mph, which is the average speed of 115 mph and 172 mph as those are the speeds of when the plane was coasting on the runway to the minimum speed needed to take off, and finally 172 mph.

 

Tej was traveling 100 mph for a total of seven seconds at the beginning of the chase, 115 mph when the plane lands on the runway for 19 seconds, 143 mph for 120 seconds (again this is an average because the plane accelerated from 115 mph to 172 mph at a continuous rate), and 172 mph for 124 seconds.  The final six seconds of screen time was coming to a braking halt at the end of the runway.  We will get into that a little later.

 

Doing some calculations to show how far Tej traveled during each moment of the chase, he went 1,026.69 feet during the seven seconds he traveled 100 mph, 3,204.73 feet at 115 mph, 25,167.6 feet at 143 mph, and 31,281.48 feet at 172 mph.  This is a total distance of 60,680.5 feet traveled.

 

Okay, so now we need to add in the final six seconds of braking.  At 170 mph, which is how fast he was traveling when the plane came crashing back down to the runway, he would have traveled a minimum of 690 feet in order to come to a complete halt.  Since we are trying to come up with the shortest possible distance traveled to give those defending the outlandishness of the scene every benefit of the doubt, we will assume that is all that he traveled.

 

Adding in the 690 feet, we have a total of 61,370.5 feet.  Again, benefit of the doubt, I won’t even include any additional feet of runway, despite not knowing exactly where the runway began and seeing that there was about an additional 150 feet of concrete before a dead end once the cars came to a stop.  I could probably add about 500 more feet, but I think without it I will still prove my point.

 

The minimum amount of runway you would need to complete the scene shown in Fast & Furious 6 was 61,370.5 feet.  That means the plane traveled a little more than 11 miles before stopping.  According to Wikipedia, the longest runway in the world is Edwards Air Force Base in the United States.  It comes in at 39,600 feet, or 7.5 miles.  You’ve been scienced Fast & Furious lover.

 

Analysis:

I mostly did this study in film editing because I wanted to know for sure whether the amount of time during the climactic finale and the distance traveled during that time was excessively long or if it was just my imagination and biased animosity toward the franchise, but I also put in the time and effort for another reason.  That was to point out the flaws in fashioning an action scene like the one at the end of Fast & Furious 6 that drags on for nearly a quarter of an hour.  Not only did you defy the normal parameters of physics and logic, but the problem also becomes that it takes the viewer out of the story because of the absurdity of the storytelling.

 

By having multiple characters and so many different storylines going on simultaneously, the audience becomes overwhelmed and eventually gets bored with the excessiveness.  Michael Bay’s Transformers series runs into the same problem in that by the time you get to the finale, you have seen robot aliens beating up on one another for three hours and you just don’t care any longer.  We become desensitized to the conflict after a certain point and our mind starts wandering to other points of interest.

 

That’s not to say an action scene cannot go on for more than 10 minutes without letting up at some point, but there needs to be a sense of realism going on (if the film is supposed to be based in reality) and there has to be characters we care about.  After 12 hours of fast cars and furiously bad acting, most members of the audience don’t give a flip about the Toretto gang or why it is they are battling these villains in and outside of a cargo plane.

 

But thanks to some hard work and head-hurting calculations, we definitely know that there is not a runway in the world that would have supported that action sequence.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 18

We are now squarely in the midst of domestic one-sheet posters that aren't necessarily bad or poor representations of the film they are promoting, but they most certainly aren't good either.

 

 

18. Die Another Day

There really isn't much to critique here.  It is a slanted headshot of James Bond and Jinx pointing their guns ... at ... something.  What makes the imagery even remotely interesting is the blue hue of coloring and the fuzziness of the background.  I'm not sure if the picture was created in a way to make it seem like Bond and Jinx are plummeting at an intense rate of speed as they aim their weapons at something below or was simply used to make it look "cool" (and if you've seen Die Another Day, I did mean that as a pun).

 

Halle Berry, who plays Jinx and had just won an Academy Award for Best Actress in Monster's Ball, was obviously going to be a focal point in the promotion of the film, not that she wouldn't have been anyway.  She is Halle Berry.  I mean, just look at that gorgeous woman.  It also was common for the Bond girls to be seen on the posters throughout the entirety of the series.  So no surprise there that she is placed along side Bond.

 

 

This is the U.S. International one-sheet, which it is almost identical to the U.S. teaser poster, only changing out a bit of wording at the bottom.  To me, this poster is a much more buzz-worthy piece of artwork than the theatrical one-sheet at the top.  The smoking gun melting into the ice cube does a great job of combining both the film's theme and a sense of excitement and adventure.  It is a much more clever poster than Bond and Jinx (maybe) flying through the air pointing guns at unknown threats.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 19

A theme that repeats itself in the first three art pieces for Pierce Brosnan's work as British superspy James Bond is that action scenes from the film are scattered across the page with the Bond girls making sexy eyes with the viewer.  This is nothing new to the 007 film franchise and its marketing department, but it does get dull after the first two or three.

 

 

19. Tomorrow Never Dies

This is the middle of those three films.  Trying to stand out from the other two Brosnan posters, this one includes two shots of the antagonist, played by Welsh thespian Jonathan Pryce, which are carbon copied images of each other placed in the upper corners of the frame.  The designer may have been trying to send some sort of subliminal message with this decision to use the same photo twice, but I'm not sure what it is.  Maybe it is the duality of a character having (at the time) been portrayed by five different actors in a series that had chugged along for more than three decades battling a media mogul who was attempting to manipulate audiences into fear while at the same time the film's producers were cashing in on the same concepts of its heroes actions in cinemas internationally.  As Ted "Theodore" Logan would say, "Whoa!"

 

There really isn't a better poster for Tomorrow Never Dies.  Instead the marketing department simply jumbled the images around and changed the color scheme for the U.S. international one-sheet.

 

 

I know.  It's not very exciting either.  While neither poster is awful, both aren't that great either.  It's just sort of a meh design.

This Makes Me Cry

According to JoBlo.com:

 

Alright Millennials, it looks like you have won. With the announcement that Paramount will promote cell phone use in certain screenings of Terminator: Genisys, the sanctity of the movie theater is dead. With the streaming and  OnDemand markets infringing on box office revenue, studios are searching for whatever avenues they can to keep butts in seats. This latest ploy may push cinema fans away while bringing the social butterflies of the world out in droves.

The game will be playable via a closed WiFi network at IMAX screenings of Terminator: Genisys in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Boston. The current test will only happen at AMC theater locations. The game puts players into the role of Resistance fighters. They will be randomly placed into four teams and fight Terminators in gameplay set at three different settings in the film. The winning team at each showing will get a collectible Terminator: Genisys poster. The app and game are completely free. The current game model will play from July 1st through 3rd.

Audience Entertainment CMO Adam Cassels had this to say about the game.

“This is a true breakthrough for the movie industry. Video games are a multi-billion dollar industry, and merging that with the movies in a way that’s interactive, fun and truly memorable is a very exciting proposition for an industry seeking to innovate. This breakthrough may be equally exciting for the video game industry. The movies offer the very best in screen and sound while providing audiences with a first of its kind, collective, in-person gaming experience.”

While this is just a test run for the concept of tying a game directly into the screening of a film, I am sure this will become more and more common. It is important to note that while this game is not going to be played during the film itself, I am sure that is not far off in the minds of those developing these ideas. Movie theaters are designed to be a place to see a film on a big screen in silence and darkness. Like a stage play, bringing cell phones and other distractions pulls away from the immersive experience of the film rather than enhancing it.

You can find the original article here.

 

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 20

In trouble of contradicting myself from yesterday's post regarding my stance on simplicity being superior, today's featured poster suffers from being too plain.

 

 

20. Skyfall

Utilizing the gun barrel seen in nearly every opening sequence of a 007 movie, Skyfall follows up the Quantum of Solace poster featuring two characters walking and minimizes it to Bond himself.  I'd like to describe what it is I don't care for regarding the image above, but there really is nothing to criticize, which is exactly the problem.  It is just Daniel Craig in a suit walking toward us with a glossy version of the gun barrel sequence surrounding him.

 

Both the Quantum of Solace and Skyfall posters were neck and neck coming into this competition, and while the contrast in colors found in the Quantum of Solace one-sheet is certainly more pleasing to the eye than Skyfall, I gave the edge to Craig's third film because it played on the history of the film series by using the gun barrel.  That was a small factor that ended up giving it a slight edge.

 

There were not a lot of different posters used for the marketing of Skyfall.  Other than character photos, the only other poster that differed from the above was this:

 

 

This is the quad poster that was found in the United Kingdom.  It isn't necessarily better than the U.S. one-sheet, but it at least shows a little life and color.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 21

If I have to choose between two pieces of artwork that is supposed to market a film best, I will always err on the side of putting too much on the page than not enough.  While simplicity can certainly enhance the buzz factor for a movie, most of the time when there is very little to look at in a teaser or theatrical poster it just comes off as boring and uninspired.  That is why you will notice that most of the works I have near the bottom of my list for best American one-sheet poster in the James Bond franchise are characterized as lazy and lifeless.  The poster that comes in at 21 is a perfect example.

 

 

21. Quantum of Solace

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to take away from this poster, but seeing two disheveled characters walking in the desert doesn't do much in the way of provoking hysteria.  The location isn't exotic at all, Bond and the femme fatale are about as unglamorous as you can get, and the only hint of adventure in the photo is so small and insignificant, it makes you wonder whether the movie is actually going to include any action at all.

 

The only thing saving this poster from being at the very bottom of the list is the contrast between the dark and light of Bond and Camille's clothing and the desert setting they are strolling through.  While I'm not particularly fond of this poster, it is markedly better than the teaser that came months before it.

 

The shadow of an iconic movie character isn't original and it certainly isn't exciting.  There are plenty of examples through history of the shadow being utilized on posters.  The only time I can really remember that it worked well was nearly a decade before Quantum of Solace, and the only reason it was successful for that movie was because fans had been waiting more than 15 years to see the next installment in one of the most popular film series of all time.

 

The marketing department for Quantum of Solace didn't do too much to create different posters throughout the world.  It really is pretty much the same image throughout the entire world.  I did find this poster from China that is a slight improvement on the original.

 

Adding just a little bit of color to the sky isn't a great improvement on an already disappointing poster, but it does help.  Plus, anything with Chinese characters is better.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 22

We've seen an example of a boring poster from the James Bond film series (Licence to Kill) and one that is too busy to be of high-quality work (The Spy Who Loved Me).  The next entry in the series does a good job of mixing action, sex appeal, and characters in the artwork, but it doesn't stand out as belonging to the 007 movie franchise like some of the other posters we will see in this series.

22. The World is not Enough
Against a white background is the dominant image of Pierce Brosnan as our hero, holding his gun ready for action, and directly below him are the main Bond girls in some sensuous poses.  Surrounding them is a muted headshot of villain Renard in the top left corner and some of the stunt work that will be seen in the movie.

There is nothing particularly bad about this one-sheet poster, but like I said before, it just doesn't really do much in the way of getting the viewer amped to see the film.  The poster from the United Kingdom suffers from what the U.S. poster for The Spy Who Loved Me did, which is it has too much going on.

I think of all the posters I have found, I like the U.S. one-sheet theatrical the most, which is the first image above.  But I do like the teaser as well.

I happen to own this poster, but it is sitting in my closet with other posters that don't get displayed due to the hierarchy of framed artwork I have going on in my living room.  The simplicity of the poster above is what I like about it.  I do wish instead of the girl's image being made up of fire and Bond being a silhouette, they would have taken the theme from the movie and photographed the female's body in oil like in the opening credits.  The female's silhouette would have looked similar to this:

Had the teaser poster been made up of Bond's image and the background being the fire and the female looked something like above, that would have been quite a stark image and could have built a little more buzz.  However, the movie did make $126 million in the United States, making it the fifth highest grossing production in the series (not adjusted for inflation; 11th when adjusted), so I guess they did something okay.

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 23

The second in our series of the domestic one-sheet posters of the James Bond series is an extremely popular entry in the series as a film.  Being the ninth sequel (making it the tenth overall for all you Mensa flunk outs), the Bond producers wanted an extravagant, over-the-top movie.  Maybe they should have carried that mentality over into the poster design.

 

 

23. The Spy Who Loved Me

The artwork for The Spy Who Loved Me is about as much of an opposite from our first entry in the series, Licence to Kill, as you can get.  It is colorful, shows some of the action and locations that the movie will feature, and includes a sexy look at Bond girl Barbara Bach.  However, the problem this poster has is that it is too much of everything.  There is just too much going on in the frame.

 

Also, if you've seen the movie, you will know that the poster could give away a fun spoiler.  While nearly 40 years later it is an iconic point in the series, at the time had unknown audiences gasping/cheering.  Again, for those who haven't seen the movie I don't want to ruin anything, but looking closely at the poster would somewhat ruin the surprise/unveil of a certain action scene.

 

Although the poster isn't a complete failure, for the tenth movie in the series where the main focus was to go big or go home, this poster is a bit of a let-down.  And finding a better poster from anywhere around the world wasn't any easier.

 

 

The Japanese poster is similar to the United States one-sheet in that it provides plenty of action and even more sex appeal, but it also gives away the same spoiler-ish item from the first poster.  But I don't know if spoiler issues were as prevalent in 1977 as they are in today's Internet/social media world.  It is unlikely that moviegoers stood in the theater, combing over every minor detail of the poster like people do today online.

 

Overall, the marketing and art departments didn't do so well with The Spy Who Loved Me, which according to the U.S. one-sheet was labeled the biggest and the best.  It's Bond ... and B-E-Y-O-N-D.  What does that even mean?

James Bond U.S. Poster Rankings: No. 24

When a new James Bond movie is being filmed, my anticipation for the next installment in the series grows intensely.  I get into an agitated state the closer to the film's release we get.  Eventually it gets to a point where all I want to do is watch, listen, talk, think, breath, and unconsciously be 007.  So while you may not care one iota about the James Bond film franchise, I do, and therefore since this is pretty much my blog (and by that I mean "this is my blog") I am going to find any way possible to write about my hero of the silver screen.  I'm sorry if you don't like it, but to not like James Bond is to not like me.  Okay, that might be a little harsh.  But if you truly have no interest in James Bond or movie posters, then the next 24 posts are going to bore you immensely.  I would suggest you take a break from my website and come back in about a month's time.  All three of you.

 

To begin with, this series will focus on the posters of the James Bond series.  Now, I have had to set a few parameters with this because in the world of movie marketing it is very common to see numerous posters and other artwork promoting a film to be released.  And that doesn't even take into account the fan-made artwork that can be found on the Internet.  So, for the purposes of this series, I am limiting the posters I have ranked to only the one's found in theaters throughout the United States.  And even after whittling down the criteria to domestic posters only, I had to narrow it down a little further because there are not only different styles of posters (usually labeled Style A and Style B), but there are also the theatrical release and teaser posters (just like with movie trailers).  Even with the most recent movie in the series that is currently filming, Spectre, a poster was created to tease the announcement of the title.  Then a teaser poster was released.  And we are currently awaiting the theatrical poster to be unveiled.  It is getting a bit outlandish when it comes to the overhype it takes to release a movie nowadays.

 

For the purposes of this series of posts, I will be ranking the James Bond one-sheet posters that were released in the U.S., are not teaser posters, fan-made publications, or some other type of special-edition artwork, and when having to narrow it down between two or three posters that all fit the criteria of a one-sheet U.S. theatrical poster, I have picked the more popular piece that would be recognized by not only 007 aficionados, but also casual moviegoers as well.  Let's unveil our first, and lowest ranked, poster.

 

 

24. Licence to Kill

Poor Licence to Kill.  It has so many things going against it.  It stars one of the least popular Bonds.  The Bond girls, villain, and henchmen are commonly overlooked or forgotten altogether when reflecting on the series as a whole.  The action was considered to be too violent at the time for a 007 picture.  And the movie overall was outmatched at the box office in the summer of 1989 by other action blockbusters like Batman, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Lethal Weapon 2, The Abyss, and Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

 

But can you really blame anyone in 1989 for wanting to go see the third installment in the wildly popular Indiana Jones series, the second buddy-cop pairing of Riggs and Murtaugh, or the follow-up film from a director who made The Terminator and Aliens?  And the image above comes nothing close to this in creating buzz about an upcoming feature:

 

 

While it seems normal in today's world for a comic book film to be big business, in 1989 that was not the case.  Yet, with the help of the simple, but slick, image above, Batman became the highest-grossing film of the year.  The Batman poster was a huge success and has become an iconic image in Hollywood and comic book circles since.

 

So what is wrong with the poster from Licence to Kill that makes it come in last place on my rankings?  Like many near the bottom of my list, it simply is boring.  Besides an unknown explosive fireball coming up from the bottom of the frame and Timothy Dalton's Bond standing with a gun pointed at the viewer, nothing else really sells the movie as being dangerous or adventurous, which is what a big part of the James Bond series is.  It does include the two Bond girls from the film, but even that seems to be a mistake as the image used feels like a last-minute addition that the publicity department stuck on there from an unused marketing photo that was going to show up in a Vanity Fair piece about "The Women in James Bond's Life."

 

The poster just doesn't do much in the way of getting me excited about the movie.  It doesn't provide anything in the way of possible action that will be seen in the movie and it isn't sexy enough to entice the other parts of my reasoning for liking the Bond series.  It's just an underwhelming piece of artwork.

 

For the final portion of this entry in the series, I will post my favorite poster from Licence to Kill, with no restrictions other than that it isn't fan made.  My favorite poster from the 16th picture of the 007 series is the U.S. one-sheet teaser.

 

 

It is still a weak marketing piece overall, but the undone bowtie and tagline sell the movie a bit more than the theatrical poster from above.

Today In 'Have You Ever Considered'

The title of this post makes you think this will be a recurring series that brings to the forefront different social and/or theological ideas that seem to get ignored, but really it's just something I realized and was wondering if anyone else ever thought about it.  While reflecting on Back to the Future the other day, it dawned on me that Marvin Berry and the Starlighters would probably not have been invited to be the house band for Hill Valley High School's Enchantment Under the Sea Dance.

 

 

With segregation laws the way they were in 1955, blacks and whites didn't mingle together much.  Such racist laws and conventions are even eluded to in the film when the town's future black mayor of 1985, Goldie Wilson, states in 1955 that he is going to become mayor.  His white boss at the time responds, "A colored mayor!  That'll be the day!"

 

Blacks weren't allowed to attend white schools, so why would they be asked to play music for one?  I get that it is a movie, and one that deals with time travel at that, but it still is something I had never contemplated.  Well, I for one am glad that director Robert Zemeckis didn't go to extreme lengths for realism with Back to the Future because if he had we would not have been graced with the comedic gold that is Marvin Berry giving his cousin Chuck the idea for "Johnny B. Goode."

What's In A Name

The paperwork has been signed, the car loan has been established, and Moby D has been turned over for auction.  I am officially the owner of a new Volkswagen Jetta.

 

When I first drove the Jetta, it felt much smaller than my Camry and I wasn't sure I would get used to the tight quarters.  However, after running a few errands this weekend and making my daily commute to work this morning, I don't feel quite as boxed in as I initially did.  The sense of constraint has waned considerably and I suspect that after a week it will have completely subsided.

 

I'm not quite sure what nickname to give the new car.  Since it is a navy blue shade I considered coming up with a name that involved blue somehow.  I also would like it to originate from a literary character, since my previous vehicle, Moby D, was named after the white whale in Herman Melville's novel.  The first choice was after the blue ox from the Paul Bunyan folklore, but its name is Babe and that is what I call Joanna most of the time.  It would be confusing, and odd, to have my wife and my car nicknamed the same thing.  There are a ton of blue characters from comic books that I could choose from, but I don't really want to select my car's name from something published by Marvel or DC.

 

After Babe the blue ox, I thought of trying to come up with something from George Orwell's Animal Farm, as it is my favorite book.  Yet, the only characters I would want to name something after from that story would be Boxer or Snowball, which neither of those really fit my new car.

 

I've got a nickname in mind from a recent movie I saw.  I think it is suitable for both my car and as a representation of what I enjoy as a hobby, but I want to see how it fits the vehicle before unveiling it to the world.  The potential nickname also fits in with the setting of the movie as the leather seats make it blistering hot on a sunny day.

 

I'm going to give it a week or so and I will then make my final decision of what the Jetta will be named.

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday - R.I.P. Moby D

Since 2001 my transportation needs have been fulfilled using a white 2000 Toyota Camry, nicknamed Moby D by my college roommate Korie.  After 14 long years of devoted service, I've prolonged the inevitable as much as possible and with a leaky engine, a flat tire, brake pads grinding on metal, and a lug nut stud snapping in two all needing to be repaired, Moby D is receiving an honorable discharge.

 

That car has seen a lot of things in its time.  It has traveled more than 350,000 miles, seen the neon lights of Las Vegas, driven roads in a fifth of the United States, and had parts replaced that included a windshield, engine, stereo, and interior roof lining.  I changed the oil in that car like I would change a dirty diaper for Sawyer.  Moby D, for as much grief as people have given me about the car, has been extremely reliable and gotten me home safely many evenings after a late round of poker in Oklahoma or Weatherford.

 

I joked that I would keep this car until either it surpassed one million miles or that I would hand it down to Emery as her first car, but unfortunately neither of those are going to happen.  To put things in perspective for what this means to me, I've had this car longer than the combined ages of all three of my children.  While I understand that it is just a thing and it can be replaced, the memories I had inside that vehicle cannot.  Sure, new memories will be formed in the new car and a new nickname will be coined, but that certainly doesn't minimize the feelings I have right now about putting Moby D out to pasture.

 

It was a good run and hopefully my next car can last just as long as Moby D.  Here is to the last 14 years of exquisite traveling and safe driving in my 2000 Toyota Camry.

 

 

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads

So you won't be lonely

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads

So you won't be lonely

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads

So you won't be lonely

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads