Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Day One of Getting Kicked In the Junk 2004

Even before sunrise, I could hear James on the phone with Clint. "Is Chad there yet?" A short pause and then, "Well we got to get going, we have a schedule to keep."
The schedule. It was a vicious, unforgiving thing. We lived by the schedule and we died by the schedule. James' schedule was down to the last detail. Eat lunch for an hour in Albuquerque and end up in Las Vegas 19 hours after we left. However, things didn't start off smoothly.
While driving down 180 (Division), we were about to get onto 820 and Clint remembered something very important...our fifth passenger. Yes, this was a road trip for five going out and four coming back. We were going to take a small plastic test tube full of the ashes of Clint's dad. Clint wanted to spread the remains of his father out on the open road. This delayed the trip 20 minutes, but everyone was okay with it because of the circumstances.
In Amarillo we saw a glimpse of the cadillac ranch. That was a big highlight considering there is nothing in west Texas. To pass the time during the depressing and bleak drive through flat nothingness, Chad brought along home-made horse racing. The rules of the game are simple. You roll two dice and whatever number comes up, that horse moves up one space. To win the race, a horse must move a certain number of times. For the number two and twelve, it is only two. For seven it is six times. We would bet fifty cents on a horse. The pot eventually got up to $20. Chad finally won that session.
Afterward, we discussed where to spread the ashes that were sitting in the middle console like nothing more than a garage door opener or a lighter. We narrowed it down to two possible options. Either in the desert of New Mexico, which is where he lived, or over the side of Hoover Dam. After listing the pros and cons of each burial site, we still didn't know which location was more beneficial to the dearly departed. So, we let fate make the decision for us. We let the dice have the choice. If it was an even number, Hoover Dam. If it was an odd, New Mexico. I shook it up in my palm, gave Clint a last glance to make sure he was ready and I then let it fly. It spun around for what seemed like a mile (on a road trip, time is measured in distance traveled, not by a watch or clock). Finally, it stopped. The small cube revealed two white dots. An even number. Hoover Dam it was.
Once this choice was over with, there was an abnormal and ackward silence in the car. No one knew what to say. So I decided to listen to a cd that was given to me by Joanna. The title was Viva Las Vegas 2004.
I was on the first song and James asked me, "What are you listening to?"
"A cd Joanna made for me," I answered.
"What does it have on it?"
"I'm only on the first song," I said.
"Well, what is it?"
"The Sopranos theme song."
Immediately Clint and Chad sat up. "Oh yeah," they all said. "Let's listen to it."
So we put the cd in. The following is the list of the songs: 1. Soprano's Theme Song, 2. Viva Las Vegas, 3. The Gambler, 4. a country song about chasing the wind and cowboys like us, 5. Danke Shoen, 6. Bare Naked Ladies poker song, 7. Pat Green song about Texas, 8. On the Road Again, 9. Everybody Loves Somebody, 10. My Way and 11. Come Away With Me.
Everyone was getting into the music. In fact, by song seven, we thought it was the greatest cd ever arranged by a girlfriend. However, by the time Dean Martin came around, you could tell 3/4 of the audience were starting to lose interest. Once the cd was over, we all decided that they should have stopped listening at about track nine. I love the whole cd and I haven't taken it out of my cd player yet.
By this time we rolled into Alburquerque and were ready to eat lunch. I will continue with day one in my next entry.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow what an amazing girlfriend. You would be an idiot to let her go! But if you do can I have her number.

Matt said...

She is a wonderful girlfriend and an even more amazing friend. I care for her a lot and she does sweet and amazing things for me. I hope we work out, but if we don't I'll be sure to post her phone number and e-mail address so some lucky guy can treat her the way I couldn't.

Anonymous said...

She may sound like a nice girl but I heard she sleeps over at his house to all hours of the night and takes naps over there with the door closed. I don't know about you but I'm looking for a more christian girl myself.

Anonymous said...

no matter how cool she is remember this one thing: "in the poker game of life women are the rake man, the fucking rake."

Matt said...

What...what saying?

Anonymous said...

Chip you are one in a million let me tell you!

Anonymous said...

there may not be that saying but there should be.