To those young couples or you ladies who want nothing more than to be parents but don’t yet have the children needed to test whether or not you would have the patience, time or proper nurturing characteristics required of such a person, I suggest getting a pet to use as a litmus test of your parenting skills.
I suppose any pet will do but to get a true assessment of yourself I recommend a dog as the animal of choice, and for a true test of your parenting abilities I think picking out a puppy would give some real results of how good a parent you could be.
Although I am already the parent of a beautiful baby girl I still consider how I handle certain situations involving Joanna's dog (named Mona) as a nice analysis of how I will react to my daughter’s potentially destructive ways as she grows up.
In recent months I have had to cope with the perils of dog ownership that resulted in some vehicle and home maintenance repairs.
The first incident took place during a fundraiser auction in Ennis. A friend’s sister was hospitalized and ended up dying that weekend and Joanna was at the hospital with our friend while I covered the event. Because we had left Mona alone all day I decided to bring her with me. That was a big mistake.
After being left in the car a little too long I came outside and from a distance saw in the moonlight Mona’s head peeping above the back seat and what looked to be hanging jungle vines dangling from the ceiling of my car.
As I walked closer, I could see what had happened. Despite having plenty of air with the windows cracked, Mona apparently thought she was trapped and tried to claw and chew her way out of the roof, resulting in the fabric of my ceiling, the headliner and my passenger-side visor being destroyed.
Now I’m not one of those people who think their vehicle is an extension of their anatomy, but my car has been very good to me for the past seven years and I felt like I had let her down as an owner.
Since catching Mona in the act of her disobedience I justifiably punished her and it was one of the longest and quietest drives home I have ever had. It took me several minutes just to even turn the radio on because I was too mad to want to hear music. I just festered and kept questioning Mona about why she would do such a thing to my car, hoping she would suddenly learn to communicate with me and explain her actions.
I spent the following week visiting salvage yards to get replacement items for the car before the ceiling’s fabric is replaced, but the second accident involved repairs that were needed on a much faster timetable.
Joanna came home on a Saturday night to find Mona with blood on her face. She searched the apartment to figure out the cause of Mona’s cut and found her bedroom window shattered. I was phoned and upon arriving we cleaned Mona up and checked to see whether she needed to make a visit to the veterinarian. It was decided she wasn’t in such bad shape that we couldn’t wait for my sister-in-law, who works for the SPCA, to look at her the next day. Following that, I inspected the damage and determined some sort of event on the outside caused this damage and Mona stuck her face against the broken glass.
For me, Sunday afternoon was spent purchasing glass and materials needed to repair the window while Joanna and my sister-in-law patched up Mona’s cuts and gave her some antibiotics.
As you can see this is not exactly how I had imagined spending my weekend but when you have a pet sometimes these sorts of things happen and you have to deal with the consequences. If you can’t imagine altering your schedule for your pet or having the patience required to get through the destructive times then it is completely unfathomable to think you are ready to raise a child. I’m not saying dogs and babies are the same thing, but the analogy in raising them is not that ridiculous.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
The Woes Of Working Out
As I type this, I am huffing and puffing after a heated battle on the tennis court with my brother, knowing tomorrow I will pay for it all with cramps in my legs, a shoulder that feels as if it is on fire every time I take a breath and a blister that wraps all the way around my thumb. As terrible as that sounds you might think I am wasting my time playing tennis if I feel so terrible the days following.
I am okay with these aches and pains because I know I earned them by being active and not sitting around the house being lazy on a beautiful evening like it was Tuesday.
In my opinion, working out, playing a little too hard with your friends or taking part in some sort of activity that gives you a sense of accomplishment is worth a bit of soreness in the end.
While not near as much fun, it is kind of like working in the yard or painting a room. They are dreaded chores that hardly anyone looks forward to, but those who do enjoy these tasks do so because they can look at their work in the end and realize what a good job they did, despite some throbbing in their back or pain in their knees.
Since I’m sure to be nursing some small tenderness throughout my body from my sporting fun I began to think about a few of the other pains I’ve recently acquired in my life that I didn’t receive through hard work or fun activities.
I am 27 years old and by no means do I think of myself as old. In fact, in today’s day and age a person can be in their golden years and still be as lively as – if not more than – teenagers who play video games all day and live through their computers.
Recently I have noticed my body telling me I did something to hurt it when I don’t recall any such injury. My ankle will feel as if I rolled it and I can hardly walk when all I did for the previous few hours was sit on my couch watching television or working at my desk. When I wake up in the morning, sleeping in the same positions I have slept all my life, my back and neck will crackle as I stretch and move, which is a fresh addition to my list of soreness.
I can never seem to remember doing anything to make my body resent me so much, but I guess I have to expect these sorts of occurrences as I age.
I figured to have at least until my mid-30s before I would have to worry about changing my diet due to high cholesterol or exercising more because of excess pounds gained – not that anybody would ever guess that could happen to my small frame.
Although these aren’t necessarily the problems I’m currently facing, I feel as if I can’t stop the inevitable from occurring, which is that someday I will be using a walker or eventually need one of those motorized chairs to get up and down staircases.
I guess playing tennis, Frisbee, golf or recreational softball is a step in the right direction to keeping my body in tip-top shape, but it would be nice to not have to deal with living in temporary pain now to know I won’t live in constant pain in the future.
I am okay with these aches and pains because I know I earned them by being active and not sitting around the house being lazy on a beautiful evening like it was Tuesday.
In my opinion, working out, playing a little too hard with your friends or taking part in some sort of activity that gives you a sense of accomplishment is worth a bit of soreness in the end.
While not near as much fun, it is kind of like working in the yard or painting a room. They are dreaded chores that hardly anyone looks forward to, but those who do enjoy these tasks do so because they can look at their work in the end and realize what a good job they did, despite some throbbing in their back or pain in their knees.
Since I’m sure to be nursing some small tenderness throughout my body from my sporting fun I began to think about a few of the other pains I’ve recently acquired in my life that I didn’t receive through hard work or fun activities.
I am 27 years old and by no means do I think of myself as old. In fact, in today’s day and age a person can be in their golden years and still be as lively as – if not more than – teenagers who play video games all day and live through their computers.
Recently I have noticed my body telling me I did something to hurt it when I don’t recall any such injury. My ankle will feel as if I rolled it and I can hardly walk when all I did for the previous few hours was sit on my couch watching television or working at my desk. When I wake up in the morning, sleeping in the same positions I have slept all my life, my back and neck will crackle as I stretch and move, which is a fresh addition to my list of soreness.
I can never seem to remember doing anything to make my body resent me so much, but I guess I have to expect these sorts of occurrences as I age.
I figured to have at least until my mid-30s before I would have to worry about changing my diet due to high cholesterol or exercising more because of excess pounds gained – not that anybody would ever guess that could happen to my small frame.
Although these aren’t necessarily the problems I’m currently facing, I feel as if I can’t stop the inevitable from occurring, which is that someday I will be using a walker or eventually need one of those motorized chairs to get up and down staircases.
I guess playing tennis, Frisbee, golf or recreational softball is a step in the right direction to keeping my body in tip-top shape, but it would be nice to not have to deal with living in temporary pain now to know I won’t live in constant pain in the future.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
What’s in a name?
While playing on the Internet this weekend I came across an article about where musicians got their stage names. I decided to share this with some of you because it is part trivia and part music history, so why not. I haven’t listed them all but I did put the well-known artists.
Bono
Born: Paul David Hewson
Supposedly named after a Dublin hearing-aid shop called Bono Vox – Latin for “good voice.” His U2 bandmate the Edge got his own nickname from either his sharp facial features or his fearlessness of heights, depending on which version you believe.
Snoop Dogg
Born: Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr.
Dogg was nicknamed “Snoopy” by his mom for his love of the “Peanuts” comic strip. If the original Snoopy was, in fact, a little bit gangsta, “Doggystyle,” we presume, was not quite what Charles Schulz had in mind.
Marilyn Manson
Born: Brian Hugh Warner
Marilyn Manson combined Marilyn Monroe with Charles Manson, of course. His bandmate Twiggy Ramirez (Jeordie White) combined the names of the slender ‘60s fashion icon and the serial killer Richard Ramirez. Most of the various band members have taken similarly titillating monikers – Daisy Berkowitz, Madonna Wayne Gacy, Gidget Gein…
Tina Turner
Born: Annie Mae Bullock
Tina Turner got the last name, of course, by marrying her bandleader, Ike Turner. But he also changed the soul queen's given name as well, appropriately yet obliquely inspired by his fandom of comic-book wildwoman Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.
Billy Idol
Born: William Michael Albert Broad
A teacher once marked a report card for young Bill with the comment, “William is idle.” After his career went multi-platinum in the 1980s, this textbook bad boy fell off the map, going 12 album-less years before a 2005 comeback. Once again, Billy was, in fact, idle.
Elton John
Born: Reginald Kenneth Dwight
Sir Reg's early band was Bluesology, featuring saxophonist Elton Dean and frontman Long John Baldry. In 1972, he legally changed his name to Elton Hercules John, despite never having shared a band with any Hercules.
Macy Gray
Born: Natalie Renee McIntyre
There’s Macy Gray, and then there’s Macy Gray the neo-soul singer. The latter pinched her stage name wholesale from a man who lived in her Canton, Ohio, neighborhood. No word on whether Mr. Gray ever mistakenly received any of his namesake neighbor’s royalty checks in the mail.
Sting
Born: Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner
Playing in a jazz band, the young Gordo once wore a black-and-yellow striped shirt that made him look like a bumblebee. “My children call me Sting, my mother calls me Sting,” he once joked, after being addressed by his given name. “Who is this Gordon character?”
Moby
Born: Richard Melville Hall
Childhood nickname bestowed by his parents; Richie’s great-great-grand-uncle was ‘Moby-Dick’ author Herman Melville. Sadly, this connection to the great whale tale had nothing to do with Moby’s brief stint in the band Flipper.
Iggy Pop
Born: James Newell Osterberg Jr.
His first high school band was called the Iguanas, earning Iggy Pop another colorful nickname – the Rock Iguana. Unhappily credited as Iggy Stooge on the Stooge’s first few records.
Dusty Springfield
Born: Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O’Brien
Let’s say you start a group with your brother called the Springfields, he adopts the moniker Tom Springfield – and you’re Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien. Suffice to say it didn't take a lot of arm-twisting for Dusty – a childhood nickname – to change her surname as well.
Bo Diddley
Born: Ellas Otha Bates
Bo Diddley might’ve swiped his lyrical stage name from a variety of sources. A diddley bow is a homemade, one-stringed instrument often used by sharecroppers. Maybe more to the point for this master of the good-natured put-down is the old-timey insult: “That ain’t bo diddley.”
Freddie Mercury
Born: Farrokh Bulsara
Born in Zanzibar to a Zoroastrian family of Indian descent, the man who would be Queen began calling himself Freddie while at boarding school near Bombay, where he started a band called the Hectics.
Johnny Rotten
Born: John Joseph Lydon
The head Sex Pistol is said to have earned his nickname through the dubious distinction of his prematurely decaying teeth. Rotten’s nickname for his pal John Simon Ritchie was dentally inspired, too – “Sid Vicious” was borrowed from a particularly nippy pet hamster.
Flea
Born: Michael Peter Balzary
Like Sting, another product of the Flying Pest school of rock nicknames. The Red Hot Chili Pepper’s stage name was bestowed for his high-strung nature by high school buddy Anthony Kiedis on a ski trip.
Elvis Costello
Born: Declan Patrick McManus
Originally performed as D.P. Costello, using his great-grandmother’s surname (not inspired by the American comedian Lou Costello). Costello later took his manager’s advice and adopted the first name Elvis. Further confusing the matter, he legally added Aloysius to his given name in the ‘80s.
Alice Cooper
Born: Vincent Furnier
Original band the Spiders switched their name to Alice Cooper, conjured, according to the record company, through a Ouija board encounter with a medieval witch of the same name. In 1974, Furnier legally adopted the name, keeping it for his solo career.
Meat Loaf
Born: Marvin Lee Aday
The “Bat Out of Hell” blockbuster’s first band was called Meat Loaf Soul; he debuted, oddly, with Motown, as half of a duet called Stoney and Meat Loaf. Recently changed his given first name, which no one knew anyway, to Michael.
Bono
Born: Paul David Hewson
Supposedly named after a Dublin hearing-aid shop called Bono Vox – Latin for “good voice.” His U2 bandmate the Edge got his own nickname from either his sharp facial features or his fearlessness of heights, depending on which version you believe.
Snoop Dogg
Born: Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr.
Dogg was nicknamed “Snoopy” by his mom for his love of the “Peanuts” comic strip. If the original Snoopy was, in fact, a little bit gangsta, “Doggystyle,” we presume, was not quite what Charles Schulz had in mind.
Marilyn Manson
Born: Brian Hugh Warner
Marilyn Manson combined Marilyn Monroe with Charles Manson, of course. His bandmate Twiggy Ramirez (Jeordie White) combined the names of the slender ‘60s fashion icon and the serial killer Richard Ramirez. Most of the various band members have taken similarly titillating monikers – Daisy Berkowitz, Madonna Wayne Gacy, Gidget Gein…
Tina Turner
Born: Annie Mae Bullock
Tina Turner got the last name, of course, by marrying her bandleader, Ike Turner. But he also changed the soul queen's given name as well, appropriately yet obliquely inspired by his fandom of comic-book wildwoman Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.
Billy Idol
Born: William Michael Albert Broad
A teacher once marked a report card for young Bill with the comment, “William is idle.” After his career went multi-platinum in the 1980s, this textbook bad boy fell off the map, going 12 album-less years before a 2005 comeback. Once again, Billy was, in fact, idle.
Elton John
Born: Reginald Kenneth Dwight
Sir Reg's early band was Bluesology, featuring saxophonist Elton Dean and frontman Long John Baldry. In 1972, he legally changed his name to Elton Hercules John, despite never having shared a band with any Hercules.
Macy Gray
Born: Natalie Renee McIntyre
There’s Macy Gray, and then there’s Macy Gray the neo-soul singer. The latter pinched her stage name wholesale from a man who lived in her Canton, Ohio, neighborhood. No word on whether Mr. Gray ever mistakenly received any of his namesake neighbor’s royalty checks in the mail.
Sting
Born: Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner
Playing in a jazz band, the young Gordo once wore a black-and-yellow striped shirt that made him look like a bumblebee. “My children call me Sting, my mother calls me Sting,” he once joked, after being addressed by his given name. “Who is this Gordon character?”
Moby
Born: Richard Melville Hall
Childhood nickname bestowed by his parents; Richie’s great-great-grand-uncle was ‘Moby-Dick’ author Herman Melville. Sadly, this connection to the great whale tale had nothing to do with Moby’s brief stint in the band Flipper.
Iggy Pop
Born: James Newell Osterberg Jr.
His first high school band was called the Iguanas, earning Iggy Pop another colorful nickname – the Rock Iguana. Unhappily credited as Iggy Stooge on the Stooge’s first few records.
Dusty Springfield
Born: Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O’Brien
Let’s say you start a group with your brother called the Springfields, he adopts the moniker Tom Springfield – and you’re Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien. Suffice to say it didn't take a lot of arm-twisting for Dusty – a childhood nickname – to change her surname as well.
Bo Diddley
Born: Ellas Otha Bates
Bo Diddley might’ve swiped his lyrical stage name from a variety of sources. A diddley bow is a homemade, one-stringed instrument often used by sharecroppers. Maybe more to the point for this master of the good-natured put-down is the old-timey insult: “That ain’t bo diddley.”
Freddie Mercury
Born: Farrokh Bulsara
Born in Zanzibar to a Zoroastrian family of Indian descent, the man who would be Queen began calling himself Freddie while at boarding school near Bombay, where he started a band called the Hectics.
Johnny Rotten
Born: John Joseph Lydon
The head Sex Pistol is said to have earned his nickname through the dubious distinction of his prematurely decaying teeth. Rotten’s nickname for his pal John Simon Ritchie was dentally inspired, too – “Sid Vicious” was borrowed from a particularly nippy pet hamster.
Flea
Born: Michael Peter Balzary
Like Sting, another product of the Flying Pest school of rock nicknames. The Red Hot Chili Pepper’s stage name was bestowed for his high-strung nature by high school buddy Anthony Kiedis on a ski trip.
Elvis Costello
Born: Declan Patrick McManus
Originally performed as D.P. Costello, using his great-grandmother’s surname (not inspired by the American comedian Lou Costello). Costello later took his manager’s advice and adopted the first name Elvis. Further confusing the matter, he legally added Aloysius to his given name in the ‘80s.
Alice Cooper
Born: Vincent Furnier
Original band the Spiders switched their name to Alice Cooper, conjured, according to the record company, through a Ouija board encounter with a medieval witch of the same name. In 1974, Furnier legally adopted the name, keeping it for his solo career.
Meat Loaf
Born: Marvin Lee Aday
The “Bat Out of Hell” blockbuster’s first band was called Meat Loaf Soul; he debuted, oddly, with Motown, as half of a duet called Stoney and Meat Loaf. Recently changed his given first name, which no one knew anyway, to Michael.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Not quite the most wonderful time of year – but it sure is close
When I first got into football two years ago – my gateway sport into all things sports related – I found at the end of the season as the Super Bowl approached my friends groaning about what a terrible life they would lead once football wasn’t there every week.
Following the first season I bought into this mentality that football reigned and everything else was filler until the preseason came around. My sports brain went into a comatose state until August when fantasy football talk started up again and the gridiron game was back in full swing. It’s funny how the people you call friends and rely on most for pertinent information regarding your personal life can be so horribly wrong.
There is so much to look forward to following the post-season of football, which I have fully taken advantage of this year.
The Super Bowl came and went on February 3 but that was not the end of sports as we know it for early 2008. By this time, basketball and hockey are in full swing with many fans starting to get an idea of what the playoffs will hold and a few teams wondering whether a post-season will present itself depending on how close the competition is in their conference – which has been compelling for the Western Conference.
March continues basketball and hockey action but sprinkles in college athletics as the NCAA Tournament – more appropriately known as March Madness – begins. Although it isn’t until the middle of the month when the tournament starts, there are plenty of conference tournaments deciding the fate of several teams on the cusp of receiving a ranking high enough to be selected. Even teams not making March Madness still find their way into the less popular event – the National Invitation Tournament.
The end of March and beginning of April is the time when sports fans are bombarded with action as March Madness is in full swing, professional basketball and hockey are still going strong and the baseball season starts up.
I’ve always found baseball to be a slow sport, especially when watching it on television, but I now appreciate it as a thinking game. The players in the infield and outfield and the runners on base are sort of pawns in a chess game between the pitcher and batter.
It is quite enthralling to see a runner in scoring position with two out and sweating it out as the pitcher has to either strike out the batter or force him to put the ball in play where a defenseman can get an easy out.
Another joy of April is that’s when the playoffs for basketball and hockey start. The Dallas Stars have shown they will be a force to be reckoned with and we can only hope the same for the Dallas Mavericks as they take us on a rollercoaster of emotions since losing the 2005-2006 NBA finals to Miami.
A sport some find boring but I recently learned to enjoy watching – or I should say re-learned to enjoy watching – is tennis. My friends and I took up the sport recently as a way to get some exercise and enjoy the night air at our local park. This isn’t my first foray into the world of tennis however. My mom used to watch tennis a lot when I was a kid and I remember having to suffer through the sport when all I really wanted was the television so I could watch a cartoon or play a video game.
With the Davis Cup being played out throughout the year, the quarterfinals were held this past weekend. The French Open is scheduled for May and June with Wimbledon following in June and July.
Golf fans can also get excited during the month of April because the Masters gets under way, giving everyone their first chance to see Tiger Woods attempt to dominate the field, which did not happen this year. As a true fan of many sports I spent much of my weekend wondering how Tiger was doing and who the leader was – due to being out of town camping I had no access to this information until Sunday. I spent the final day flipping between the Masters, the Texas Rangers and the Davis Cup Quarterfinals.
By the way, to the guy who says he is a golf fan but would rather go fishing or find something else to do if Tiger isn’t in the hunt on the final day of a tournament, that isn’t a real fan of the sport. That means you are a Tiger Woods fan, not a golf fan.
For those of you who complain about the absence of football this time of year, I say get over it and enjoy the surplus of sports that is offered. You are missing out on some seriously great action.
Following the first season I bought into this mentality that football reigned and everything else was filler until the preseason came around. My sports brain went into a comatose state until August when fantasy football talk started up again and the gridiron game was back in full swing. It’s funny how the people you call friends and rely on most for pertinent information regarding your personal life can be so horribly wrong.
There is so much to look forward to following the post-season of football, which I have fully taken advantage of this year.
The Super Bowl came and went on February 3 but that was not the end of sports as we know it for early 2008. By this time, basketball and hockey are in full swing with many fans starting to get an idea of what the playoffs will hold and a few teams wondering whether a post-season will present itself depending on how close the competition is in their conference – which has been compelling for the Western Conference.
March continues basketball and hockey action but sprinkles in college athletics as the NCAA Tournament – more appropriately known as March Madness – begins. Although it isn’t until the middle of the month when the tournament starts, there are plenty of conference tournaments deciding the fate of several teams on the cusp of receiving a ranking high enough to be selected. Even teams not making March Madness still find their way into the less popular event – the National Invitation Tournament.
The end of March and beginning of April is the time when sports fans are bombarded with action as March Madness is in full swing, professional basketball and hockey are still going strong and the baseball season starts up.
I’ve always found baseball to be a slow sport, especially when watching it on television, but I now appreciate it as a thinking game. The players in the infield and outfield and the runners on base are sort of pawns in a chess game between the pitcher and batter.
It is quite enthralling to see a runner in scoring position with two out and sweating it out as the pitcher has to either strike out the batter or force him to put the ball in play where a defenseman can get an easy out.
Another joy of April is that’s when the playoffs for basketball and hockey start. The Dallas Stars have shown they will be a force to be reckoned with and we can only hope the same for the Dallas Mavericks as they take us on a rollercoaster of emotions since losing the 2005-2006 NBA finals to Miami.
A sport some find boring but I recently learned to enjoy watching – or I should say re-learned to enjoy watching – is tennis. My friends and I took up the sport recently as a way to get some exercise and enjoy the night air at our local park. This isn’t my first foray into the world of tennis however. My mom used to watch tennis a lot when I was a kid and I remember having to suffer through the sport when all I really wanted was the television so I could watch a cartoon or play a video game.
With the Davis Cup being played out throughout the year, the quarterfinals were held this past weekend. The French Open is scheduled for May and June with Wimbledon following in June and July.
Golf fans can also get excited during the month of April because the Masters gets under way, giving everyone their first chance to see Tiger Woods attempt to dominate the field, which did not happen this year. As a true fan of many sports I spent much of my weekend wondering how Tiger was doing and who the leader was – due to being out of town camping I had no access to this information until Sunday. I spent the final day flipping between the Masters, the Texas Rangers and the Davis Cup Quarterfinals.
By the way, to the guy who says he is a golf fan but would rather go fishing or find something else to do if Tiger isn’t in the hunt on the final day of a tournament, that isn’t a real fan of the sport. That means you are a Tiger Woods fan, not a golf fan.
For those of you who complain about the absence of football this time of year, I say get over it and enjoy the surplus of sports that is offered. You are missing out on some seriously great action.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Keeping Watch On Stupid People
There is a movie out called “Idiocracy” with a premise that rivals a Beavis and Butthead episode, but it stars Luke Wilson so I suggest you take a peek at it sometime. The reason I bring the movie up is because the plot –– which involves two average humans being frozen for 500 years and waking up to find stupid people have overpopulated –– makes me think that, given enough time, we might turn out like this.
The idea is that the uneducated have nothing to divert their attention and end up breeding an exuberant amount of children. As intelligent folks on the planet focus on their careers instead of procreating, the result is their group diminishes to nothing.
I love to people watch. I consider it a sport. In college I would go to the clubs in town –– I use the term club loosely since I was living in Nacogdoches –– and enjoy the sights around me as guys attempted to find a mate to take home at the end of the night and the girls aggressively dodged most advances made toward them.
By the end of my five lovely collegiate years I had even turned into a professional “people watching” sportscaster, mocking the knuckleheads with my cousin with a play-by-play of the potential hook-ups throughout the night; the “riffing” conversations performed rivaled the best Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes.
The time spent honing my skills as a “people watching” broadcaster has stayed with me over the years. I still pay attention to what is happening around me –– often ignoring the people I am with in the process –– in order to observe the morons who come in and out of my life.
Now I’ll bring these two differing topics together.
Just recently, while walking my dog, I noticed a young man drive into a gas station parking lot across the street, his vehicle’s windows rolled down.
It was hard to not be aware of this guy coming my way due to the fact that his music was at full blast and the bass meter was set at about a +11.
I heard him coming from seven blocks away.
I couldn’t tell you what song was playing but I assure you it wasn’t my cup of tea. It was loud, it had no melody and the lead singer screamed a lot.
Why is it that when the guys – and it mostly is guys – who do this choose heavy rock that makes nobody happy or hardcore rap that doesn’t censor the language?
Why do we never hear Bob Dylan or the Beatles blaring at deafening volumes?
I’m thinking about buying a Michael Bolton or Kenny G album for just these types of instances.
When some punk pulls up next to me at a stop light with loud music coming from his car I will pop in some “How am I Supposed to Live Without You.”
See what that does for the guy’s listening pleasure.
Moral: The next time you roll down your car window and think about blasting whatever song you’re into at that time, consider this: from the outside of your car it isn’t that cool. It’s kind of the same as peeling away in a parking lot or stop sign.
The idea is that the uneducated have nothing to divert their attention and end up breeding an exuberant amount of children. As intelligent folks on the planet focus on their careers instead of procreating, the result is their group diminishes to nothing.
I love to people watch. I consider it a sport. In college I would go to the clubs in town –– I use the term club loosely since I was living in Nacogdoches –– and enjoy the sights around me as guys attempted to find a mate to take home at the end of the night and the girls aggressively dodged most advances made toward them.
By the end of my five lovely collegiate years I had even turned into a professional “people watching” sportscaster, mocking the knuckleheads with my cousin with a play-by-play of the potential hook-ups throughout the night; the “riffing” conversations performed rivaled the best Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes.
The time spent honing my skills as a “people watching” broadcaster has stayed with me over the years. I still pay attention to what is happening around me –– often ignoring the people I am with in the process –– in order to observe the morons who come in and out of my life.
Now I’ll bring these two differing topics together.
Just recently, while walking my dog, I noticed a young man drive into a gas station parking lot across the street, his vehicle’s windows rolled down.
It was hard to not be aware of this guy coming my way due to the fact that his music was at full blast and the bass meter was set at about a +11.
I heard him coming from seven blocks away.
I couldn’t tell you what song was playing but I assure you it wasn’t my cup of tea. It was loud, it had no melody and the lead singer screamed a lot.
Why is it that when the guys – and it mostly is guys – who do this choose heavy rock that makes nobody happy or hardcore rap that doesn’t censor the language?
Why do we never hear Bob Dylan or the Beatles blaring at deafening volumes?
I’m thinking about buying a Michael Bolton or Kenny G album for just these types of instances.
When some punk pulls up next to me at a stop light with loud music coming from his car I will pop in some “How am I Supposed to Live Without You.”
See what that does for the guy’s listening pleasure.
Moral: The next time you roll down your car window and think about blasting whatever song you’re into at that time, consider this: from the outside of your car it isn’t that cool. It’s kind of the same as peeling away in a parking lot or stop sign.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Ennis Dentist Takes Plea Bargain
City Commissioner Stephen Durbin pleaded guilty Monday in a settlement agreement and will be placed on five years deferred adjudication, the maximum length of probation available for his crime of improper photography or video recording.
The plea bargain was reached between the County and District Attorney’s Office and the defendant after a request was made in affidavits signed by all eight of his victims, asking for deferred adjudication. As per the victims’ request, the plea bargain agreement requires Durbin to attend sex offender counseling at his own expense, his work and home computers be monitored for improper material and he be responsible for paying up to $1,000 in counseling expenses for the victims.
Durbin was indicted by an Ellis County Grand Jury on Nov. 26, 2007, on three counts of improper photography or video recording, a state jail felony. County and District Attorney Joe Grubbs said his office was ready to proceed to a jury trial, but after extensive meetings with the victims to ensure their wishes were met an offer was made to Durbin for the probation.
“When you have victims who have specific requests you have to weigh that in,” Grubbs said following Monday’s court hearing.
Grubbs also said it was important that the victims feel the criminal justice system provide them with a sense of satisfaction and justice for the trauma and violation they have suffered.
Durbin’s criminal case was resolved only a few weeks after a related civil case was settled. On March 19 at a 10-hour mediation, Durbin’s former employees received an undisclosed amount of compensation. The victims’ attorney Clay Jenkins said nothing in the terms of the settlement in the civil case affected the criminal case or its resolution.
“My clients are satisfied with the outcome and are appreciative of the hard work and support of District Attorney Joe Grubbs, Chief Felony Prosecutor Don Maxfield and Assistant District Attorney Lindy Tober, who remained in close contact with these women throughout this ordeal,” Jenkins said in a press release. “I am proud of my eight clients for standing up against Dr. Durbin’s abuse.”
City Attorney Toby Mash said with Durbin pleading guilty and taking the plea bargain, the City Commission could vote the Ward 5 Commissioner off the board. However, since Durbin has not filed for re-election and his term ends in May it is most likely the City will just let his term end and the unopposed former Ennis Police Chief Dale Holt will then take Durbin’s place.
Durbin turned himself in to authorities Aug. 18, 2007, after a warrant was issued for his arrest on a charge of improper photography or video recording.
The affidavit for the arrest warrant issued by Judge Bill Woody’s office reported a complainant contacted Ennis Police Chief John Erisman advising one of Durbin’s female employees had found a wireless color video camera hidden in the changing room of his office at 400 W. Ennis Ave. The report stated the camera was used to film the female staff while they were changing clothes.
The affidavit also states the employees later confronted Durbin about the camera and filming and recorded his admission to the crime on a digital audio recording. Det. Sgt. Mike Hopson confirmed police have the audio recording in custody.
If all conditions of the probation are met, Durbin is eligible to request an order of non-disclosure that would prevent criminal justice agencies from allowing his original arrest warrant or information from the court proceedings to be disclosed.
The plea bargain was reached between the County and District Attorney’s Office and the defendant after a request was made in affidavits signed by all eight of his victims, asking for deferred adjudication. As per the victims’ request, the plea bargain agreement requires Durbin to attend sex offender counseling at his own expense, his work and home computers be monitored for improper material and he be responsible for paying up to $1,000 in counseling expenses for the victims.
Durbin was indicted by an Ellis County Grand Jury on Nov. 26, 2007, on three counts of improper photography or video recording, a state jail felony. County and District Attorney Joe Grubbs said his office was ready to proceed to a jury trial, but after extensive meetings with the victims to ensure their wishes were met an offer was made to Durbin for the probation.
“When you have victims who have specific requests you have to weigh that in,” Grubbs said following Monday’s court hearing.
Grubbs also said it was important that the victims feel the criminal justice system provide them with a sense of satisfaction and justice for the trauma and violation they have suffered.
Durbin’s criminal case was resolved only a few weeks after a related civil case was settled. On March 19 at a 10-hour mediation, Durbin’s former employees received an undisclosed amount of compensation. The victims’ attorney Clay Jenkins said nothing in the terms of the settlement in the civil case affected the criminal case or its resolution.
“My clients are satisfied with the outcome and are appreciative of the hard work and support of District Attorney Joe Grubbs, Chief Felony Prosecutor Don Maxfield and Assistant District Attorney Lindy Tober, who remained in close contact with these women throughout this ordeal,” Jenkins said in a press release. “I am proud of my eight clients for standing up against Dr. Durbin’s abuse.”
City Attorney Toby Mash said with Durbin pleading guilty and taking the plea bargain, the City Commission could vote the Ward 5 Commissioner off the board. However, since Durbin has not filed for re-election and his term ends in May it is most likely the City will just let his term end and the unopposed former Ennis Police Chief Dale Holt will then take Durbin’s place.
Durbin turned himself in to authorities Aug. 18, 2007, after a warrant was issued for his arrest on a charge of improper photography or video recording.
The affidavit for the arrest warrant issued by Judge Bill Woody’s office reported a complainant contacted Ennis Police Chief John Erisman advising one of Durbin’s female employees had found a wireless color video camera hidden in the changing room of his office at 400 W. Ennis Ave. The report stated the camera was used to film the female staff while they were changing clothes.
The affidavit also states the employees later confronted Durbin about the camera and filming and recorded his admission to the crime on a digital audio recording. Det. Sgt. Mike Hopson confirmed police have the audio recording in custody.
If all conditions of the probation are met, Durbin is eligible to request an order of non-disclosure that would prevent criminal justice agencies from allowing his original arrest warrant or information from the court proceedings to be disclosed.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Cannes, Sundance... And Now Dallas
The AFI Dallas Film Festival begins today, which is extremely exciting to think that a film festival is in my area of the world. Growing up I always thought of film festivals as something like the circus coming to town in the Depression-era Midwest. I imagined an entire city shutting down and every resident piling in to the local theater all day long for a week straight watching movie after movie that starred no-name talent and had a budget the size of my savings account.
I have on my radar about eight movies to see but will probably only get around to three or four of them. My cousin Clint and I were going to see a vampire movie at midnight tonight but he has a family thing to do so we are going to see that Wednesday. My main goal this year is to see at least one movie at the event so I can know I've attended a film festival in my lifetime. It may not be France or the mountains of Utah, but the AFI Dallas Film Festival is something I could really get behind and would love to work for in the future.
I have on my radar about eight movies to see but will probably only get around to three or four of them. My cousin Clint and I were going to see a vampire movie at midnight tonight but he has a family thing to do so we are going to see that Wednesday. My main goal this year is to see at least one movie at the event so I can know I've attended a film festival in my lifetime. It may not be France or the mountains of Utah, but the AFI Dallas Film Festival is something I could really get behind and would love to work for in the future.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Axe 'Em Jacks
The Stephen F. Austin State University Men's Basketball team just won the first game in the Southland Conference Tournament and will go on to play tonight's winner between Northwestern State and Southeastern Louisiana. Many readers who have stumbled upon this blog are probably scratching their heads saying "the what conference?" Well I don't care what you say. This is exciting stuff for ex-Lumberjacks because our football team sucks and this is all that we have going on that is special right now. I am extremely excited about this outcome and can't wait to see what the results are for tomorrow night's game.
Monday, February 25, 2008
80th Academy Awards Reaction
The day after the Oscars is so depressing for me. I should look at it as the begining of a time to look forward to the possibilities of Academy Award potential films being released and what could be, but instead I reflect on what took place the night before and whether or not those who won were deserving.
This year I would say there weren't a ton of surprises. I didn't see the Best Actress winner coming. I had never heard of her and didn't know she stood a chance, but congratulations to her. Although I liked Juno and Michael Clayton more, I was pretty certain No Country For Old Men was going to take home the award for Best Picture and Best Director. The more I thought about that movie and its casting, acting, direction, etc., the more I liked it. I'm okay with it winning all the awards it did. I was very happy to see Juno win something. I fully recommend seeing that movie. It is a joy.
At first I gave Jon Stewart a solid B for his effort at this year's ceremony. He had a few flops that pulled him down in the ranking, but then when I started reading some of the jokes from last night's telecast and remembering how hard I laughed at his material (especially the stuff he made up on the spot) I really liked it. I have since bumped him up to a B+.
I still hold a perfect record in the Animated Feature category. I am proud to have that, which makes up for tying Joanna this year in our game of picking the winners. We both picked 11, Clint scored 9 and my mom brought up the rear with 7. It was a good ceremony overall, but it would be hard for me to not enjoy the Oscars. Unlike a lot of people, I liked that they did montages of past Oscar winners. It made me remember what a great medium film is and how many wonderful films Hollywood has given us.
This year I would say there weren't a ton of surprises. I didn't see the Best Actress winner coming. I had never heard of her and didn't know she stood a chance, but congratulations to her. Although I liked Juno and Michael Clayton more, I was pretty certain No Country For Old Men was going to take home the award for Best Picture and Best Director. The more I thought about that movie and its casting, acting, direction, etc., the more I liked it. I'm okay with it winning all the awards it did. I was very happy to see Juno win something. I fully recommend seeing that movie. It is a joy.
At first I gave Jon Stewart a solid B for his effort at this year's ceremony. He had a few flops that pulled him down in the ranking, but then when I started reading some of the jokes from last night's telecast and remembering how hard I laughed at his material (especially the stuff he made up on the spot) I really liked it. I have since bumped him up to a B+.
I still hold a perfect record in the Animated Feature category. I am proud to have that, which makes up for tying Joanna this year in our game of picking the winners. We both picked 11, Clint scored 9 and my mom brought up the rear with 7. It was a good ceremony overall, but it would be hard for me to not enjoy the Oscars. Unlike a lot of people, I liked that they did montages of past Oscar winners. It made me remember what a great medium film is and how many wonderful films Hollywood has given us.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
My Super Bowl Switcharoo
Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you thought you knew what you wanted but your instincts and emotions revealed an opposite desire?
More than likely you have faced this sort of thing. At the very least you have seen it take place in the movies before. What I’m talking about is the classic romantic comedy plot in which a man and woman think they hate one another because of differing perspectives or altering motives, but after 90 minutes of verbal sparring and a far-fetched case of mistaken identity or eavesdropping on the tail-end of a conversation that seems to make one of the couple seem to be up to something devious it is realized that the two are actually in love and have to find each other before they leave on an airplane or marry some other person.
We sometimes believe with all our heart we want a chocolate ice-cream cone but once we see our little brother lapping up a vanilla cone we realize we made a mistake and begin coveting our sibling’s dessert.
I had this happen Super Bowl Sunday regarding what team I wanted to win.
Like many in Dallas I had a tough decision to make concerning the biggest football game of the year. Should I scream and get excited for the hated New York Giants who are division rivals and knocked us out of the playoffs or did I want a perfect season to take place with a win from the New England Patriots, led by the socially retarded, football mastermind Bill Belichick? It was a classic *@%#ed if I do, *@%#ed if I don’t situation.
Only seconds before kickoff did I make my final decision that I wanted the Patriots to have a perfect season and set history as one of the best teams ever with a win. It was a little before halftime I realized the decision my brain made was not what my emotions wanted.
With such a close score all game long I noticed I was mentally wishing the Giants defense to smother Brady in the pocket and give him no chance at completing the majority of his passes.
As the game went on that mental urging transformed to physical gestures such as fist pumping and verbal “woo-hoos” with each passing drive that resulted in no points for the Patriots.
By the middle of the third quarter I had completely reversed my pre-game disposition concerning the outcome of the game and had fully embraced a Giants victory.
I am sure many “true” – aka close-minded – Dallas fans will say I have turned my back on America’s team, but instead of looking at it as me cheering for the Giants try thinking of it as me wanting the team that beat us to win so we can say that had we beat the Giants then we might have gone on to win the Super Bowl.
During the final quarter of the game I was hooping and hollering in my mom’s living room as Eli Manning led his team to football immortality. Near the end of the game I even told my family that I hoped the Patriots would lose by three points so that Belichick would be blasted for not kicking the field goal on fourth down and 13 yards to go.
I guess Belichick had no confidence in Stephen Gostkowski and a 49-yard field goal attempt.
The point of all this is to say not everything we think we want is really what we desire most.
All the consideration and thinking in the world doesn’t always give you the clearest decision. Sometimes you need your emotions to weigh in.
More than likely you have faced this sort of thing. At the very least you have seen it take place in the movies before. What I’m talking about is the classic romantic comedy plot in which a man and woman think they hate one another because of differing perspectives or altering motives, but after 90 minutes of verbal sparring and a far-fetched case of mistaken identity or eavesdropping on the tail-end of a conversation that seems to make one of the couple seem to be up to something devious it is realized that the two are actually in love and have to find each other before they leave on an airplane or marry some other person.
We sometimes believe with all our heart we want a chocolate ice-cream cone but once we see our little brother lapping up a vanilla cone we realize we made a mistake and begin coveting our sibling’s dessert.
I had this happen Super Bowl Sunday regarding what team I wanted to win.
Like many in Dallas I had a tough decision to make concerning the biggest football game of the year. Should I scream and get excited for the hated New York Giants who are division rivals and knocked us out of the playoffs or did I want a perfect season to take place with a win from the New England Patriots, led by the socially retarded, football mastermind Bill Belichick? It was a classic *@%#ed if I do, *@%#ed if I don’t situation.
Only seconds before kickoff did I make my final decision that I wanted the Patriots to have a perfect season and set history as one of the best teams ever with a win. It was a little before halftime I realized the decision my brain made was not what my emotions wanted.
With such a close score all game long I noticed I was mentally wishing the Giants defense to smother Brady in the pocket and give him no chance at completing the majority of his passes.
As the game went on that mental urging transformed to physical gestures such as fist pumping and verbal “woo-hoos” with each passing drive that resulted in no points for the Patriots.
By the middle of the third quarter I had completely reversed my pre-game disposition concerning the outcome of the game and had fully embraced a Giants victory.
I am sure many “true” – aka close-minded – Dallas fans will say I have turned my back on America’s team, but instead of looking at it as me cheering for the Giants try thinking of it as me wanting the team that beat us to win so we can say that had we beat the Giants then we might have gone on to win the Super Bowl.
During the final quarter of the game I was hooping and hollering in my mom’s living room as Eli Manning led his team to football immortality. Near the end of the game I even told my family that I hoped the Patriots would lose by three points so that Belichick would be blasted for not kicking the field goal on fourth down and 13 yards to go.
I guess Belichick had no confidence in Stephen Gostkowski and a 49-yard field goal attempt.
The point of all this is to say not everything we think we want is really what we desire most.
All the consideration and thinking in the world doesn’t always give you the clearest decision. Sometimes you need your emotions to weigh in.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Jan. 10 Column
I wouldn't say this is my triumphant return or anything. Just thought I would post something since it has been a while. Here is my column from last week in case you don't know how to type in www.ennisdailynews.com.
I have started to notice a new trend in the fast food drive-thru line. I don’t know when it began but it has made my grease-laden food ordering experience a little more difficult.
What I am talking about is the automated message that greets you as your vehicle comes to a stop next to the intercom and menu. It usually sounds something like, “Welcome! How can I help you?” or maybe like, “Howdy! Can I take your order?”
It’s not the greeting I have a problem with. The welcome really isn’t all that bad, except for certain food industry execs who think every person in Texas says “Howdy” to one anther as our hello.
What bothers me is the fact that it is an electronic message greeting me and now I’m not sure if the person on the other side of this electronic box is really ready to take my order. I never worked the fast food drive-thru window and haven’t had to fight through the headset with a customer so I don’t know what it’s like on the other side, but as the customer I don’t want to do anything to make you mad for fear you might alter my specially made burger with some homemade sauce.
If I begin rattling off my order because Computerized Chatty Cathy just welcomed me to your establishment, asked how she could help me and you aren’t ready yet, then I have to be reprimanded when you come on the intercom and say, “One moment SIR!!!” It’s not that I’m in some rush or want to make your life harder. Your greeting asked what I wanted and I began giving my order.
When I first started noticing the computerized greeting in the drive-thru line I thought it was just two people working the headset. No big deal. However, then I started noticing that the first woman was saying the same thing every time. The words and delivery never changed. At this point I started wondering when it was appropriate to start giving my order. Again we go back to what if the employee taking my order isn’t ready. I don’t want to rush them.
Here is another question. Why is the computerized greeter always a woman? How come we never hear men’s voices greet us in the drive-thru? Is this a coincidence among all the food establishments or did the Women’s Association of Electronic Greeters go on strike until a deal was made to monopolize the drive-thru lines?
All of this may seem trivial to you and your response to me might sound something like “Why don’t you just stop eating those fatty foods and trying a more healthy diet?” Well here is my answer to you. When you have the figure of a 10-year-old girl and everything you eat has no effect on you in the short term then you take advantage of it for as long as possible. As soon as my clogged arteries begin to give me a shortness of breath and pain in my left arm then I will stop pumping my body full of the seventh – and lesser known – food group: grease.
Besides, I get a very healthy and delicious meal each week at the Odd Fellow and Rebekah Retirement Center here in Ennis when I attend Kiwanis Club. I know what you might think, “An old folks home! Yuk!” No way. It is delicious. Trust me.
I have started to notice a new trend in the fast food drive-thru line. I don’t know when it began but it has made my grease-laden food ordering experience a little more difficult.
What I am talking about is the automated message that greets you as your vehicle comes to a stop next to the intercom and menu. It usually sounds something like, “Welcome! How can I help you?” or maybe like, “Howdy! Can I take your order?”
It’s not the greeting I have a problem with. The welcome really isn’t all that bad, except for certain food industry execs who think every person in Texas says “Howdy” to one anther as our hello.
What bothers me is the fact that it is an electronic message greeting me and now I’m not sure if the person on the other side of this electronic box is really ready to take my order. I never worked the fast food drive-thru window and haven’t had to fight through the headset with a customer so I don’t know what it’s like on the other side, but as the customer I don’t want to do anything to make you mad for fear you might alter my specially made burger with some homemade sauce.
If I begin rattling off my order because Computerized Chatty Cathy just welcomed me to your establishment, asked how she could help me and you aren’t ready yet, then I have to be reprimanded when you come on the intercom and say, “One moment SIR!!!” It’s not that I’m in some rush or want to make your life harder. Your greeting asked what I wanted and I began giving my order.
When I first started noticing the computerized greeting in the drive-thru line I thought it was just two people working the headset. No big deal. However, then I started noticing that the first woman was saying the same thing every time. The words and delivery never changed. At this point I started wondering when it was appropriate to start giving my order. Again we go back to what if the employee taking my order isn’t ready. I don’t want to rush them.
Here is another question. Why is the computerized greeter always a woman? How come we never hear men’s voices greet us in the drive-thru? Is this a coincidence among all the food establishments or did the Women’s Association of Electronic Greeters go on strike until a deal was made to monopolize the drive-thru lines?
All of this may seem trivial to you and your response to me might sound something like “Why don’t you just stop eating those fatty foods and trying a more healthy diet?” Well here is my answer to you. When you have the figure of a 10-year-old girl and everything you eat has no effect on you in the short term then you take advantage of it for as long as possible. As soon as my clogged arteries begin to give me a shortness of breath and pain in my left arm then I will stop pumping my body full of the seventh – and lesser known – food group: grease.
Besides, I get a very healthy and delicious meal each week at the Odd Fellow and Rebekah Retirement Center here in Ennis when I attend Kiwanis Club. I know what you might think, “An old folks home! Yuk!” No way. It is delicious. Trust me.
Friday, June 08, 2007
A Good Chuckle From My Co-Leader
I came across this from Gordon Keith today and thought it was great. Laughed a lot.
This instant-messaging stuff drives me crazy
By Gordon Keith
As part of my recovery, I must admit that I am the worst e-mail, IM, text message, phone-sex talker ever.
[Instant-message exchange]
GQuick: What' RU doin?
mdog22: nothing.
GQuick: whaz up?
mdog22: yeah?
GQuick: what RU wairin'?
mdog22: suit and tie.
GQuick: ooh dresed as man. I like that, baby.
mdogg22: I'm a man. My name is Mark Dogg, assistant district attorney.
GQuick: Sorry. wrong IM name. I feel horrible. This is Gordon Keith of Quick, please keep me anonymous. Oh, Gosh.
[E-mail exchange]
Betty: Hey Gordon. I liked your article on school finance.
Gordon: So did I. you sound pretty hot ...
Betty: My husband thinks so.
Gordon: [ignoring her nouns] why don't you send a pic
Betty: here it is. This is me holding our youngest son at his christening last month.
Gordon: wow, nice rack. Too bad that baby is in the way. Here's a pic of me.
Betty: ... well, I like your back yard. Is that a ball gag you are wearing? I take it you don't wear briefs.
Gordon: Thanks for the compliments. That's a lamp I'm using on myself. Wanna have lunch?
Betty: Actually I just lost mine.
Gordon: really? did you eat your food real hard for me.
Betty: I don't think you understood me.
Gordon: EPDAGR...
Betty: What?
Gordon: Easing Pants Down And Getting Ready
Betty: Freak! I am contacting your boss!
Gordon: Please don't! Oh my gosh, I am sorry! I misread this so badly! You sounded totally into it.
[Phone call]
Gordon: Hello?
Quick editor: Gordon, we need to talk.
Gordon: About what?
Quick editor: I've received several e-mails from readers and a couple of calls from cops about some unwanted conversations you've had with people that have bordered on threatening.
Gordon: I really don't know what you are talking about. And that Rachel girl is crazy.
Quick editor: Who is Rachel? Listen, I don't want to argue about it. You are on probation for one month.
Gordon: Hey, look, if I have been a bad boy, then I should be punished. Are you all dressed up as an editor right now? Hello?
[Dial tone]
This instant-messaging stuff drives me crazy
By Gordon Keith
As part of my recovery, I must admit that I am the worst e-mail, IM, text message, phone-sex talker ever.
[Instant-message exchange]
GQuick: What' RU doin?
mdog22: nothing.
GQuick: whaz up?
mdog22: yeah?
GQuick: what RU wairin'?
mdog22: suit and tie.
GQuick: ooh dresed as man. I like that, baby.
mdogg22: I'm a man. My name is Mark Dogg, assistant district attorney.
GQuick: Sorry. wrong IM name. I feel horrible. This is Gordon Keith of Quick, please keep me anonymous. Oh, Gosh.
[E-mail exchange]
Betty: Hey Gordon. I liked your article on school finance.
Gordon: So did I. you sound pretty hot ...
Betty: My husband thinks so.
Gordon: [ignoring her nouns] why don't you send a pic
Betty: here it is. This is me holding our youngest son at his christening last month.
Gordon: wow, nice rack. Too bad that baby is in the way. Here's a pic of me.
Betty: ... well, I like your back yard. Is that a ball gag you are wearing? I take it you don't wear briefs.
Gordon: Thanks for the compliments. That's a lamp I'm using on myself. Wanna have lunch?
Betty: Actually I just lost mine.
Gordon: really? did you eat your food real hard for me.
Betty: I don't think you understood me.
Gordon: EPDAGR...
Betty: What?
Gordon: Easing Pants Down And Getting Ready
Betty: Freak! I am contacting your boss!
Gordon: Please don't! Oh my gosh, I am sorry! I misread this so badly! You sounded totally into it.
[Phone call]
Gordon: Hello?
Quick editor: Gordon, we need to talk.
Gordon: About what?
Quick editor: I've received several e-mails from readers and a couple of calls from cops about some unwanted conversations you've had with people that have bordered on threatening.
Gordon: I really don't know what you are talking about. And that Rachel girl is crazy.
Quick editor: Who is Rachel? Listen, I don't want to argue about it. You are on probation for one month.
Gordon: Hey, look, if I have been a bad boy, then I should be punished. Are you all dressed up as an editor right now? Hello?
[Dial tone]
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Disney Strikes Again
I have never known a production company like Disney to so consistently manufacture such delightful movies that are then followed up with lackluster, embarrassing sequels.
“Cinderella,” “Bambi,” “101 Dalmatians,” “The Little Mermaid,” “Aladdin,” “The Lion King.” These are all great movies from our youth that have entertained multiple generations and stood the test of time.
“Cinderella II: Dreams Come True,” “Cinderella III: A Twist in Time,” “Bambi II,” 101 Dalmatians II: Patch’s London Adventure,” “The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea,” “Return of Jafar,” “Aladdin and the King of Thieves,” “The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride,” “The Lion King 1 1/2.” What a waste of time and money for everyone these straight-to-video releases are.
The “Pirates of the Caribbean” trilogy is another example of Disney cashing an enormous paycheck and laughing all the way home while giving little regard to the quality of work they had established with “Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.”
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” is a blundering mess of a movie filled with lackluster action and a convoluted story of characters continually making and breaking multiple deals with the collection of pirates, monsters and bureaucrats the producers and writers have created and not been able to get rid of.
In the third, and possibly final (nobody knows for sure), installment Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) leads a crew, including Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightly) and other familiar faces, to fetch back Captain Jack Sparrow from Davy Jones’ Locker. Chow Yun-Fat joins the cast as Chinese pirate Captain Sao Feng, but adds nothing to the film except an easy way out for the writers to move the story along to a point that they can place the characters they need in the spot they need them.
Beyond a handful of scenes showcasing Johnny Depp’s prowess as an actor and his comfort in the role of Sparrow, the entire movie left me uninterested, confused and questioning who would find any of this almost three-hour tripe interesting. I think I even heard a few 8-year-olds in front of me question how much longer was left, which isn’t a good sign.
Nothing about the special effects is remarkable or original and the audience is left wondering whom to root for as allegiances are tested and relationships are questioned. The set pieces are rather disappointing, if not shamefully absurd.
However, of all that is wrong with this movie, which is quite a lot if you haven’t figured it out, the worst part is the writers’ complete disregard for physics and realistic combat. Viewing Sparrow and Davy Jones clash swords while they easily balance on a ship’s beam while the boat rocks back and forth in a whirlpool doesn’t get the entertaining response wished for, but instead begs me to ask, “Are these guys seriously wanting me to ignore the laws of gravity and other sound science simply to be amused?”
For entertainment purposes I will accept a curse that can turn pirates into the walking dead or a captain that will cut out his heart after being scorned in love and become commissioned to the seas forever as his penance, but what I will not tolerate is that a person can swing above a ship’s deck high among the sails, fight others who have somehow ended up in this unlikely situation of playing Tarzan while a colossal battle is taking place below and then casually land ready to pick up the fight again. Curses and black magic is one thing I will suspend disbelief for, but unrealistic fights and ludicrous action sets I will not.
“At World’s End” lacks the breathtaking action, laugh-out-loud comedy and mind-blowing spectacle “Curse of the Black Pearl” delivered several years ago. It is just a continuation of the downward spiral Disney is taking with this series.
Walt Disney said it best: “I’ve never believed in doing sequels. I didn’t want to waste the time I have doing a sequel; I’d rather be using that time doing something new and different.”
The world was a better place when he was here.
“Cinderella,” “Bambi,” “101 Dalmatians,” “The Little Mermaid,” “Aladdin,” “The Lion King.” These are all great movies from our youth that have entertained multiple generations and stood the test of time.
“Cinderella II: Dreams Come True,” “Cinderella III: A Twist in Time,” “Bambi II,” 101 Dalmatians II: Patch’s London Adventure,” “The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea,” “Return of Jafar,” “Aladdin and the King of Thieves,” “The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride,” “The Lion King 1 1/2.” What a waste of time and money for everyone these straight-to-video releases are.
The “Pirates of the Caribbean” trilogy is another example of Disney cashing an enormous paycheck and laughing all the way home while giving little regard to the quality of work they had established with “Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.”
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” is a blundering mess of a movie filled with lackluster action and a convoluted story of characters continually making and breaking multiple deals with the collection of pirates, monsters and bureaucrats the producers and writers have created and not been able to get rid of.
In the third, and possibly final (nobody knows for sure), installment Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) leads a crew, including Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightly) and other familiar faces, to fetch back Captain Jack Sparrow from Davy Jones’ Locker. Chow Yun-Fat joins the cast as Chinese pirate Captain Sao Feng, but adds nothing to the film except an easy way out for the writers to move the story along to a point that they can place the characters they need in the spot they need them.
Beyond a handful of scenes showcasing Johnny Depp’s prowess as an actor and his comfort in the role of Sparrow, the entire movie left me uninterested, confused and questioning who would find any of this almost three-hour tripe interesting. I think I even heard a few 8-year-olds in front of me question how much longer was left, which isn’t a good sign.
Nothing about the special effects is remarkable or original and the audience is left wondering whom to root for as allegiances are tested and relationships are questioned. The set pieces are rather disappointing, if not shamefully absurd.
However, of all that is wrong with this movie, which is quite a lot if you haven’t figured it out, the worst part is the writers’ complete disregard for physics and realistic combat. Viewing Sparrow and Davy Jones clash swords while they easily balance on a ship’s beam while the boat rocks back and forth in a whirlpool doesn’t get the entertaining response wished for, but instead begs me to ask, “Are these guys seriously wanting me to ignore the laws of gravity and other sound science simply to be amused?”
For entertainment purposes I will accept a curse that can turn pirates into the walking dead or a captain that will cut out his heart after being scorned in love and become commissioned to the seas forever as his penance, but what I will not tolerate is that a person can swing above a ship’s deck high among the sails, fight others who have somehow ended up in this unlikely situation of playing Tarzan while a colossal battle is taking place below and then casually land ready to pick up the fight again. Curses and black magic is one thing I will suspend disbelief for, but unrealistic fights and ludicrous action sets I will not.
“At World’s End” lacks the breathtaking action, laugh-out-loud comedy and mind-blowing spectacle “Curse of the Black Pearl” delivered several years ago. It is just a continuation of the downward spiral Disney is taking with this series.
Walt Disney said it best: “I’ve never believed in doing sequels. I didn’t want to waste the time I have doing a sequel; I’d rather be using that time doing something new and different.”
The world was a better place when he was here.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
EISD Chief Of Police's Arrest Getting National Attention
If you haven't heard about Kevin Haynes, the Ennis Independent School District's Chief of Police, then I will give you a brief synopsis. Haynes was stopped for driving while intoxicated Saturday night and during the incident he became violent and attacked an officer, sending the man to the hospital. He was charged with a DWI, resisting arrest and assault on a public servant.
Apparently this story and some video from one of the dashboard cameras of an Ovilla cruiser is getting national media attention. I haven't seen the video yet but I heard you can see Haynes swing at an officer and somebody tells Haynes his career is over, which it's beginning to look that way.
Haynes has been suspended with pay from the ISD until an investigation is completed.
Apparently this story and some video from one of the dashboard cameras of an Ovilla cruiser is getting national media attention. I haven't seen the video yet but I heard you can see Haynes swing at an officer and somebody tells Haynes his career is over, which it's beginning to look that way.
Haynes has been suspended with pay from the ISD until an investigation is completed.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Days Turn To Weeks
Not wanting to be called a zombie movie, “28 Weeks Later” falls into the rhythm of many zombie movies to come before it.
With more time since the rage virus infected the United Kingdom, splitting its populace into thoughtless, ravenous creatures chasing those yet to be turned and fighting for their survival, comes more gore and less imagination from the filmmakers.
A prologue starts the film showcasing a husband and wife holed up in a cottage tucked away in the English countryside trying to avoid being attacked by the throngs of creatures roaming Great Britain. In a moment of cowardice the husband, Don (Robert Carlyle), leaves his wife behind, knowing she is doomed to be torn apart by the creatures. A brief history of the virus and how it spread is offered, describing how its victims become cannibalistic.
Things begin to settle after the American military quarantines a portion of downtown London from the virus. It has been several months since the creatures died off from starvation and snipers protect the perimeters of a society that must be rebuilt gradually as citizens return from the safety of outside countries. The latest wave of homecoming refugees includes the daughter and son of Don, a duo who secretly possess a key part in potentially understanding and possibly curing the virus.
Following this all-too-brief opening that exhibits remnants of a sequel just as original and accomplished as its original the story falls into the trap of the zombie genre with a small group of survivors, including a sniper questioning his orders and a doctor questioning her superiors, trying to run, drive, swim or fly from the “zombies” as individuals are picked off one by one in death scenes that get more and more graphic as the movie progresses.
“28 Weeks” lacks the innovation and realism its predecessor “28 Days Later” had, which wasn’t just a horror movie about infected, brainless creatures turning Great Britain into a battlefield, but instead was a surreal look at the breakdown of a society when faced with a life-threatening epidemic.
Danny Boyle and Alex Garland step down as director and writer this time, into the roles of executive producers, and are replaced by director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo and a new collection of scribes. This roster change is probably to blame for the disappointing results found in “28 Weeks Later.”
Instead of making a follow-up that could highlight the aftermath of such a heart-wrenching, but potential, event, Fresnadillo and his crew take their moment of filmmaking to show an assessment of American autocratic government. I should give “28 Weeks Later” a little credit for being able to constantly flop back and forth from replicated zombie movie and explosive action movie.
The one element from its predecessor “28 Weeks” is able to keep and use successfully is the music. The repetitive and haunting score is a welcome return to the franchise.
After the first two reels of the movie are gone, the movie begins to go from bad to worse. If this is the direction future “28 Time Periods Later” movies are going to take then fans of the original shouldn’t be too excited about the potential for another sequel, which Fresnadillo made sure to leave as a possibility with his predictable ending.
With more time since the rage virus infected the United Kingdom, splitting its populace into thoughtless, ravenous creatures chasing those yet to be turned and fighting for their survival, comes more gore and less imagination from the filmmakers.
A prologue starts the film showcasing a husband and wife holed up in a cottage tucked away in the English countryside trying to avoid being attacked by the throngs of creatures roaming Great Britain. In a moment of cowardice the husband, Don (Robert Carlyle), leaves his wife behind, knowing she is doomed to be torn apart by the creatures. A brief history of the virus and how it spread is offered, describing how its victims become cannibalistic.
Things begin to settle after the American military quarantines a portion of downtown London from the virus. It has been several months since the creatures died off from starvation and snipers protect the perimeters of a society that must be rebuilt gradually as citizens return from the safety of outside countries. The latest wave of homecoming refugees includes the daughter and son of Don, a duo who secretly possess a key part in potentially understanding and possibly curing the virus.
Following this all-too-brief opening that exhibits remnants of a sequel just as original and accomplished as its original the story falls into the trap of the zombie genre with a small group of survivors, including a sniper questioning his orders and a doctor questioning her superiors, trying to run, drive, swim or fly from the “zombies” as individuals are picked off one by one in death scenes that get more and more graphic as the movie progresses.
“28 Weeks” lacks the innovation and realism its predecessor “28 Days Later” had, which wasn’t just a horror movie about infected, brainless creatures turning Great Britain into a battlefield, but instead was a surreal look at the breakdown of a society when faced with a life-threatening epidemic.
Danny Boyle and Alex Garland step down as director and writer this time, into the roles of executive producers, and are replaced by director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo and a new collection of scribes. This roster change is probably to blame for the disappointing results found in “28 Weeks Later.”
Instead of making a follow-up that could highlight the aftermath of such a heart-wrenching, but potential, event, Fresnadillo and his crew take their moment of filmmaking to show an assessment of American autocratic government. I should give “28 Weeks Later” a little credit for being able to constantly flop back and forth from replicated zombie movie and explosive action movie.
The one element from its predecessor “28 Weeks” is able to keep and use successfully is the music. The repetitive and haunting score is a welcome return to the franchise.
After the first two reels of the movie are gone, the movie begins to go from bad to worse. If this is the direction future “28 Time Periods Later” movies are going to take then fans of the original shouldn’t be too excited about the potential for another sequel, which Fresnadillo made sure to leave as a possibility with his predictable ending.
Monday, May 14, 2007
My Regular Season Has Begun
I started my summer movie-watching spree with Spider-Man 3 last weekend and this week I followed up with 28 Weeks Later. I will do a review of both, but I am going to start with Spider-Man 3.
After reading some fan reviews on the World Wide Web in the last week it has been decided that folks either loved this movie or hated it. I fall closer to the latter.
Sam Raimi really disappoints this time around with too many villains, a ridiculous display of the emergence of Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s dark side, pointless characters and laughable ways of cleaning up the mess Raimi made in trying to spin too long and complicated of a web.
The Sandman is a pointless character that is pushed upon Parker (and the audience) by changing the Spider-Man comic book history. According to the movie, Flint Marko/Sandman has a connection to Uncle Ben’s killing, but Raimi only does this because otherwise there is nothing to Sandman. He has nothing to give to the movie except some cool visual effects, which aren’t anything we haven’t yet seen in a Spider-Man movie.
Another villain, who is considered to be Spider-Man’s most anticipated and wicked adversary, is Venom. Venom is the creation of a symbiote alien goo and photographer Eddie Brock. Brock is angry with Parker for ruining his career and the goo brings out more anger from Brock. Thus Venom is born… and dead within 12 minutes of screen time. This creature is what every Spider-Man fan has been waiting six years for since hearing the news of a live-action movie. What a let down.
The final villain (that’s right, we’re still working on villains) is the new Green Goblin, a.k.a. Harry Osborn. Osborn is still on a rampage to kill Spider-Man, whom he now knows is former best friend Parker. The two have the best fight scenes of the entire movie, but it results in a lame result that has no originality and teeters on being a bad soap opera story. Even the outcome of Parker and Osborn’s friendship is resolved by a random character that mimics the form of Bruce Wayne’s conscious. Again, not an original idea from Raimi.
A character who is set up to play a large part in the film but fizzles out halfway through is Gwen Stacy. This will be another argument by Spider-Man fans because Stacy was a much bigger player early in Parker’s life in the comic books. She is introduced at the beginning of the film and consequently drives a wedge between Parker and Mary Jane, but then is dropped completely after a pitiful attempt at humor by Raimi when the alien goo begins to take control of Parker’s dark side.
I’m not sure of the running time for Spider-Man 3, but it feels way too long for a kids’ comic book film, which is what this series has been reduced to after this installment. The story drags and the final battle is so complex/unrealistic it becomes farcical. Spider-Man 3 is the worst of the entire series and a change needs to take place because it just feels tiresome now.
After reading some fan reviews on the World Wide Web in the last week it has been decided that folks either loved this movie or hated it. I fall closer to the latter.
Sam Raimi really disappoints this time around with too many villains, a ridiculous display of the emergence of Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s dark side, pointless characters and laughable ways of cleaning up the mess Raimi made in trying to spin too long and complicated of a web.
The Sandman is a pointless character that is pushed upon Parker (and the audience) by changing the Spider-Man comic book history. According to the movie, Flint Marko/Sandman has a connection to Uncle Ben’s killing, but Raimi only does this because otherwise there is nothing to Sandman. He has nothing to give to the movie except some cool visual effects, which aren’t anything we haven’t yet seen in a Spider-Man movie.
Another villain, who is considered to be Spider-Man’s most anticipated and wicked adversary, is Venom. Venom is the creation of a symbiote alien goo and photographer Eddie Brock. Brock is angry with Parker for ruining his career and the goo brings out more anger from Brock. Thus Venom is born… and dead within 12 minutes of screen time. This creature is what every Spider-Man fan has been waiting six years for since hearing the news of a live-action movie. What a let down.
The final villain (that’s right, we’re still working on villains) is the new Green Goblin, a.k.a. Harry Osborn. Osborn is still on a rampage to kill Spider-Man, whom he now knows is former best friend Parker. The two have the best fight scenes of the entire movie, but it results in a lame result that has no originality and teeters on being a bad soap opera story. Even the outcome of Parker and Osborn’s friendship is resolved by a random character that mimics the form of Bruce Wayne’s conscious. Again, not an original idea from Raimi.
A character who is set up to play a large part in the film but fizzles out halfway through is Gwen Stacy. This will be another argument by Spider-Man fans because Stacy was a much bigger player early in Parker’s life in the comic books. She is introduced at the beginning of the film and consequently drives a wedge between Parker and Mary Jane, but then is dropped completely after a pitiful attempt at humor by Raimi when the alien goo begins to take control of Parker’s dark side.
I’m not sure of the running time for Spider-Man 3, but it feels way too long for a kids’ comic book film, which is what this series has been reduced to after this installment. The story drags and the final battle is so complex/unrealistic it becomes farcical. Spider-Man 3 is the worst of the entire series and a change needs to take place because it just feels tiresome now.
Monday, April 30, 2007
2007 Summer Movie Preview
These aren't all the big movies coming out this summer, but they are probably the seven films I am most likely going to get excited/brave the crowds for.
Spider-Man 3
Looking to start the summer off right, the third installment in the ongoing battle of juggling a normal life as Peter Parker and protecting the city from super evil as Spider-Man will hit theaters on May 4, most likely setting the tone for a huge money-making season.
This time around, things look to be going great for Parker as he has confessed his undying love for Mary Jane and plans to marry her, but turmoil is never far in the superhero world. Not only must Spider-Man face off against his newest adversary Sandman and an old friend in the form of the new Green Goblin, but he must also cope with an alien entity that bonds with Spider-Man's suit, giving him limitless powers and emotional instability.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Picking up where Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest left off, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann and the rest of the Black Pearl travel off the edge of the map in an attempt to rescue Capt. Jack Sparrow from a watery grave at the hands of Davy Jones. They traverse the seas and join newest cast member Chow Yun-Fat, as Sao Feng the Pirate Lord of Singapore, in a final battle that will decide the fate of all piracy.
The trilogy will come to a close on May 25, but talk of a fourth film has already started brewing even before the third one is released.
Ocean's Thirteen
Save the date of June 8 when Danny Ocean and his ragtag gang of oddballs attempt to pull off another heist with the help of their old opponent Terry Benedict.
Joining the crew this time around is Andy Garcia's Benedict and Ellen Barkin, supposedly as the love interest for thief-in-training Matt Damon. These two will take the place of Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who are not featured. Not much is known about the plot outside of Ocean and his team targeting their man for revenge, but the mark in the third crime caper from Steven Soderbergh is scenery-chewer Al Pacino.
Transformers
Growing up as an 80s baby, there were certain television shows that molded me: "The Smurfs" taught me about kindness and morality, "He-Man" gave me courage, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" were my comic relief and "Transformers" was just the guilty pleasure of my childhood.
Although a 1986 animated film was already released about the Transformers, explosion-happy Michael Bay is giving it another try, but this time using live-action actors and computer-graphic Autobots and Decepticons in his version of the universe's ultimate battle between good and evil.
The dueling alien races are traveling to Earth on July 4, which seems to be a popular day for alien species to decide to annihilate our planet. Although the movie is about the Transformers, which was simply a product-driven television series that led my generation's parents to spend small fortunes on Japanese-manufactured toys that could transform from cars and trucks into robots, it will most likely be a one-time viewer for me.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Despite never having read a single word of J.K. Rowlings' magical series about the wizardry school of Hogwarts or its students, I am a huge Harry Potter movie geek. July 13 is the release date of the fifth film in the series. After Harry's nemesis Lord Voldemort returns, Harry and Dumbledore are under fire from wizard authorities that are in denial of their warnings. As changes begin to take place and a dark, sinister evil reaches out across the world, are Harry and his friends prepared for the ensuing battle that lies ahead?
The Simpsons Movie
It has been more than 20 years since the Simpson family hit the airwaves on the "The Tracey Ullman Show." They have had 19 successful seasons as an award-winning animated comedy on FOX. Pop culture has certainly been impacted from Homer's idiotic antics and the English lexicon has also been influenced by the show's catchphrases. Plenty of merchandise has been sold and hundreds of millions of dollars made from television's middle-class royalty. So, why did it take this long for a movie to be made?
Moviegoers will finally be given a full two hours to enjoy their favorite hapless family on July 27, but little is known of what the movie is actually about. Besides the usual town regulars, frequent guest stars, such as Albert Brooks, Kelsey Grammar and Joe Mantegna, and new guest stars, including Minnie Driver and Erin Brockovich, will provide voices.
The Bourne Ultimatum
It is one of the greatest spy book series to finally be made into movies in the last several decades and the third film will be released on Aug. 3. Jason Bourne is an amnesiac who is slowly recalling his previous life as a government assassin. The Bourne Ultimatum will place Bourne everywhere from London, Madrid and Moscow to Paris, New York City and Tangier as he continues his search to find the truth about his life.
Spider-Man 3
Looking to start the summer off right, the third installment in the ongoing battle of juggling a normal life as Peter Parker and protecting the city from super evil as Spider-Man will hit theaters on May 4, most likely setting the tone for a huge money-making season.
This time around, things look to be going great for Parker as he has confessed his undying love for Mary Jane and plans to marry her, but turmoil is never far in the superhero world. Not only must Spider-Man face off against his newest adversary Sandman and an old friend in the form of the new Green Goblin, but he must also cope with an alien entity that bonds with Spider-Man's suit, giving him limitless powers and emotional instability.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Picking up where Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest left off, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann and the rest of the Black Pearl travel off the edge of the map in an attempt to rescue Capt. Jack Sparrow from a watery grave at the hands of Davy Jones. They traverse the seas and join newest cast member Chow Yun-Fat, as Sao Feng the Pirate Lord of Singapore, in a final battle that will decide the fate of all piracy.
The trilogy will come to a close on May 25, but talk of a fourth film has already started brewing even before the third one is released.
Ocean's Thirteen
Save the date of June 8 when Danny Ocean and his ragtag gang of oddballs attempt to pull off another heist with the help of their old opponent Terry Benedict.
Joining the crew this time around is Andy Garcia's Benedict and Ellen Barkin, supposedly as the love interest for thief-in-training Matt Damon. These two will take the place of Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who are not featured. Not much is known about the plot outside of Ocean and his team targeting their man for revenge, but the mark in the third crime caper from Steven Soderbergh is scenery-chewer Al Pacino.
Transformers
Growing up as an 80s baby, there were certain television shows that molded me: "The Smurfs" taught me about kindness and morality, "He-Man" gave me courage, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" were my comic relief and "Transformers" was just the guilty pleasure of my childhood.
Although a 1986 animated film was already released about the Transformers, explosion-happy Michael Bay is giving it another try, but this time using live-action actors and computer-graphic Autobots and Decepticons in his version of the universe's ultimate battle between good and evil.
The dueling alien races are traveling to Earth on July 4, which seems to be a popular day for alien species to decide to annihilate our planet. Although the movie is about the Transformers, which was simply a product-driven television series that led my generation's parents to spend small fortunes on Japanese-manufactured toys that could transform from cars and trucks into robots, it will most likely be a one-time viewer for me.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Despite never having read a single word of J.K. Rowlings' magical series about the wizardry school of Hogwarts or its students, I am a huge Harry Potter movie geek. July 13 is the release date of the fifth film in the series. After Harry's nemesis Lord Voldemort returns, Harry and Dumbledore are under fire from wizard authorities that are in denial of their warnings. As changes begin to take place and a dark, sinister evil reaches out across the world, are Harry and his friends prepared for the ensuing battle that lies ahead?
The Simpsons Movie
It has been more than 20 years since the Simpson family hit the airwaves on the "The Tracey Ullman Show." They have had 19 successful seasons as an award-winning animated comedy on FOX. Pop culture has certainly been impacted from Homer's idiotic antics and the English lexicon has also been influenced by the show's catchphrases. Plenty of merchandise has been sold and hundreds of millions of dollars made from television's middle-class royalty. So, why did it take this long for a movie to be made?
Moviegoers will finally be given a full two hours to enjoy their favorite hapless family on July 27, but little is known of what the movie is actually about. Besides the usual town regulars, frequent guest stars, such as Albert Brooks, Kelsey Grammar and Joe Mantegna, and new guest stars, including Minnie Driver and Erin Brockovich, will provide voices.
The Bourne Ultimatum
It is one of the greatest spy book series to finally be made into movies in the last several decades and the third film will be released on Aug. 3. Jason Bourne is an amnesiac who is slowly recalling his previous life as a government assassin. The Bourne Ultimatum will place Bourne everywhere from London, Madrid and Moscow to Paris, New York City and Tangier as he continues his search to find the truth about his life.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Adios Awesome Apartment
I spent my final night in my Ennis apartment last night. After two years in Ennis I am moving back to Arlington. Although everything is not yet quite packed up in boxes I have taken posters and pictures off the walls and boxed up all my books and DVDs, resulting in a very bare, colorless living quarters.
Despite moving back home into my grandmother’s house, which has been remodeled and almost completely restored by James, my mom and myself (mostly James though), I still have my journalism job in Ennis. I will be commuting everyday back and forth. Not the ideal situation, but it is better than being unemployed. Hopefully I will find a writing/photography/editing job soon in the metroplex that will put me closer to home.
Outside of working on the house I haven’t had much time to do anything else. I was able to get away for the weekend last week for some camping. That was quite an experience. I will go into greater detail later.
Despite moving back home into my grandmother’s house, which has been remodeled and almost completely restored by James, my mom and myself (mostly James though), I still have my journalism job in Ennis. I will be commuting everyday back and forth. Not the ideal situation, but it is better than being unemployed. Hopefully I will find a writing/photography/editing job soon in the metroplex that will put me closer to home.
Outside of working on the house I haven’t had much time to do anything else. I was able to get away for the weekend last week for some camping. That was quite an experience. I will go into greater detail later.
Monday, April 16, 2007
House And Job Updates
The Norwood house is really coming together now. My mom, James and I have painted the nursery entirely, with James' room almost complete. The carpet will be delivered and installed a week from tomorrow. A wonderful man named Hugo came over and ripped up our jungle of a yard and even trimmed the hedges that were starting to grow into the driveway. He also pulled out the metal fence that was in the backyard. This has all been done without a mention of payment. It is great.
The best part of all this is that the hole in the roof has been partly patched. Mark, Clint, James and I put forth our best effort to fix it but couldn't seem to get the sheet rock to fit. After Mark left the three of us refused to let the hole defeat us so we gave it another crack. A few hours later the hole was closed up and insulation was installed. Now we just have to tape it up, plaster it down, shoot the popcorn on the ceiling and paint. Simple, right?
I have applied for a new job as a city government reporter for the Dallas Morning News. They are asking for a veteran reporter, but hopefully I can at least get an interview to show that I want this job. I doubt I will go from a small paper to a large publication like the Dallas Morning News in just two years, but I also didn't think I had a shot at getting the job in Ennis either.
I will be praying that God blesses me with this job, but if I don't get it then I will continue my search and make the hour drive to Ennis until then.
The best part of all this is that the hole in the roof has been partly patched. Mark, Clint, James and I put forth our best effort to fix it but couldn't seem to get the sheet rock to fit. After Mark left the three of us refused to let the hole defeat us so we gave it another crack. A few hours later the hole was closed up and insulation was installed. Now we just have to tape it up, plaster it down, shoot the popcorn on the ceiling and paint. Simple, right?
I have applied for a new job as a city government reporter for the Dallas Morning News. They are asking for a veteran reporter, but hopefully I can at least get an interview to show that I want this job. I doubt I will go from a small paper to a large publication like the Dallas Morning News in just two years, but I also didn't think I had a shot at getting the job in Ennis either.
I will be praying that God blesses me with this job, but if I don't get it then I will continue my search and make the hour drive to Ennis until then.
Friday, April 13, 2007
I Have The Right To Change My Mind
I just can't bring myself to delete this thing... again. It is going to stay up even though I don't update it, nobody checks it and there is nothing to talk about.
I did change the template so maybe that will inspire me to write a little more on it.
I did change the template so maybe that will inspire me to write a little more on it.
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