Why do adults turn into complete morons when they become parents? Do they forget the common principles of social etiquette? Or do they just think their child is more disciplined than that? Well let me clear things up for you new and soon-to-be parents, your toddler is no better than the next whiny, bratty kid that annoys the hell out of you while shopping at the grocery store.
I will now go into details of why this second rant is being written. I've decided to send in a proposal to the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America). No children under the age of four are allowed in a PG-13 or R-rated film. I don't care if they are accompanied by a parent or legal gaurdian. An infant or young child is just not ready to be in a social setting of that level yet. They don't understand that the movie is two hours long, there are no breaks and you have to be utterly silent the entire time.
I went to see The Day After Tomorrow last night with my girlfriend. The movie was okay; your typical end of the world, destroy it with some computer graphic special effects movie. But could it have been better had my movie going experience not been tarnished by an 11-month-old baby crying the whole time? It lasted from opening destruction sequence to end credits.
Here is the reason this time was worse than usual. The parents not only weren't embarrassed by the situation, they were laughing at it. They thought it was funny. And they sat in the middle of the section. Could they not have chosen an aisle seat so that, if the child began to disturb the patrons around them, they could effortlessly leave their seat and tend to the weeping youngster? No, instead it was a tag team effort of comforting the brat until it stopped crying. Once this occurred, parent number one would begin his long and tedious trek across the row to his seat. And all kidding aside, the moment he would sit down, the kid would start crying again. So parent number two would get up, start side-stepping down the row, and hang out on the side with a crying baby. Good use of sixteen bucks there. Hope you enjoyed the show.
The baby obviously didn't want to see this movie. He had heard the reviews and felt it was not his type of movie. He probably prefers light, romantic comedies with Kate Hudson or Reese Witherspoon. Leave the child at home with a baby-sitter or MTV, this method worked for me.
So my proposal is no person under the age of four will be allowed to see a PG-13 or R-rated movie. If you can't get a baby-sitter, you can't go out. It is that simple. You won't enjoy the movie, your kid won't enjoy the movie and we, the paying audience, certainly won't enjoy the movie. Tell me what you think about this idea. I might really send it in. I'm on a role with getting policies changed.
3 comments:
Best part was about the baby not caring for the movie. funny stuff.
That's typical censorship policy for ya. If it doesn't make sense, chances are it came from the government. I'd seriously suggest that. The guidelines were in place to prevent youngsters from being mentally scarred for life because they thought they were trapped in a matrix. I guess they assumed parents wouldn't be dumb enough to take their kids to something like that.
The bottom line is: either ban it or don't. Exceptions always raise hell.
I like the part where the baby was crying during the movie. That had to be annoying.
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