Not my best column, but it has humorous moments.
Divorce can be a nasty thing for a couple and breakups aren’t pretty either, but sometimes the separation is harder on others than it is on the actual couple.
At times a divorce doesn’t take its toll until later in life, like with my parents and me. When my mom and dad told my brother and me they were getting a divorce, I asked if it would be basically how it was now, because my dad was already living in Corpus Christi, and once we were reassured that everything would stay the same as it currently was my brother asked if we could go get ice cream. He had chocolate and I got strawberry. Today though I can see certain perspectives of my life were molded into a different perception because of the divorce of my parents than had my parents stayed together.
There are some divorces that don’t bother anyone at anytime or have any lasting affect. In today’s society, celebrity couples that unite and breakup is more interesting to us than Israeli Jews being evicted from their home in the Gaza Strip.
With the parting of Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson or Prince Charles and Princess Diana, the most famous divorce of all time, the world watched and wanted more. Admit it, you stand in line at the grocery store and sneak a peek at the National Inquirer or People Magazine so you can see what new dirt there is on the Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie love triangle.
As ridiculous as this sounds, the most absurd breakup the world has ever had to endure is the split between Mattel dolls Barbie and Ken. The higher-ups actually forced these child’s play things to split up.
On February 12, 2004 it was announced that after 43 years as one of the world’s prettiest pairs, the perfect plastic couple would be breaking up. According to the couple’s business manager, Russell Arons, vice president of marketing at Mattel, Barbie and Ken said, “it felt like time to spend some quality time – apart.”
Does Mattel not realize they are talking about two plastic dolls not more than nine inches high? To add more unintentional comedy to the situation, when the breakup was announced, the Cali (as in California) Girl Barbie was being released to the public. To better reflect her single status, Cali Barbie wore board shorts and a bikini top, metal hoop earrings and had a deeper tan. The new, suddenly single Barbie even attracted a new admirer, Blaine the Australian boogie boarder.
The toy makers at Mattel actually created little lives for their little people. Barbie’s full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts. She met Ken on a television commercial in 1961, which is when they began dating.
As if the idea of two dolls “breaking up” wasn’t foolish enough, the media threw gasoline on the fire. Business Weekly Online even came up with conspiracy theories as to why the world’s most famous doll would dump her boyfriend just 48 hours before Valentine’s Day. Just a few speculations were that being single better suit the Cali Girl Barbie doll, Barbie left Ken for Blaine and even the preposterous idea that Ken was gay.
With the divorce rate at around 50 percent in America, isn’t Mattel setting a poor example for young ladies hoping to fall in love someday by breaking up two fictional characters that could have been extremely happy together? Wouldn’t Barbie be better served to show that true love does exist? Shouldn’t we be setting a better example for today’s children so we might decrease the divorce rate instead of promoting it through dolls?
I believe I have made it clearly evident that stupidity bothers me and I consider this a strong point in the category of stupid. We are forced to sit through Tom Cruise jumping on a couch with Oprah declaring his admiration for Katie Holmes. Must we tolerate a fantasy courtship between two inanimate objects? Next thing you know, Ken will be found by the paparazzi at the local tavern with the wrong group of guys, the next Mattel doll on toy store shelves will be Pregnant Barbie and then Mattel will release food stamps as an accessory for Barbie to use for her six kids who she has had with Blaine, Todd, Steve, Josh and maybe Bubba, all out of wedlock.
6 comments:
I had to say, good job. This should be in the paper, one of your columns.
Okay so it already is a column, (I didn't read the title) so totally negate my comment. Except the good column part.
You might catch hell from people regarding your obvious stance on foodstamps. But if you can handle that, go for it.
I will probably have to change the final sentence, but for humor's sake, I thought it would be funny to leave it for now.
You call yourself a journalist. That column is far, far, far to right leaning to actually published. You need to be praising Mattel for showing little girls that they don't need a man to raise a family. You better get it together or they will banish you to FOXNEWS or talk radio. You are walking a fine line my friend.
MS
Right leaning?
Good lord. It's a f'ing story on a DOLL.
Which BTW I thought was LOL funny!
Post a Comment