Thank God For The Blessings

Since becoming a substitute, I have been around many types of kids. The tries-too-hard-to-be-cool kid is very popular. The tries-too-hard-to-be-different kid is now into cutting, which is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. It's not even attempting suicide, which is a cry for attention in itself. Cutting is the biggest scream you can belt out.
While looking at some of these kids work, I have learned three things. The first is my heart goes out to the kids who don't understand their work but still try as hard as they can to do their best. What an arousing feat this child does to not have any clue what the answer is and have to ask for help four times, but he/she still tries. That's very encouraging.
The second thing I've learned is kids are too dramatic today. I don't remember being so sensational in high school and junior high. Was I? Did I write poems about how the only true peace is eternal sleep which I'm looking forward to someday? No, I didn't. I was normal.
The final thing I have learned is most students, while some resist this stereotype, are stupid. I mean they are really dumb. They can't add. They can't write a coherent sentence. I want to write this blog to God and thank Him for making me smart. I'm not trying to sound conceited, but I know I am not stupid. I can add, subtract, multiply and divide. I can edit a poorly written sentence. I can learn to do just about anything, except chemistry. The sciences are my Achilles' heel.
I had a class the other day with 14 kids. You know how many could write out 6,347,592.019. Zero. They couldn't figure out where the commas or hyphens went or how to spell forty. The answer is six million, three hundred forty-seven thousand, five hundred ninety-two and nineteen thousandths for the 15-year-olds who didn't know that. Is it really so hard to spell this, especially when 75% of the words are on the chalkboard or walls of the classroom.
I would just like You to know I am grateful for everything You have given me. Thank you for the blessings I have in my life.

Happy Birthday Cassidy

I wanted to wish you a happy birthday on my blog.

A Touching Story

As I was browsing the blogs, I came across this story. I have a fascination with Asian culture and find their history and stories extremely interesting. If I had normal emotions like a regular human being I would say this story moves me, however it doesn't. I just thought others might like it.

The Butterfly Lovers [Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Ying Tai]
In feudal China when women were confined to their homes and love by choice results in condemnation, there was a girl from a wealthy family who seeked to defy the norms of society. Her name is Zhu Ying Tai. With a desire to be educated, she took on a male identity and set off for Hang Zhou.
It was there where Zhu Ying Tai met Liang Shan Bo, a fellow schoolmate. They soon became close friends and were enjoying each other’s company, and Liang Shan Bo all the while oblivious to Zhu Ying Tai true gender.
However upon completion of their studies, it was time for the two of them to depart. Zhu Ying Tai, hiding her love for Liang Shan Bo all the while, thought of a plan so that she can see Liang Shan Bo again. She offered “his” sister’s hand for marriage, and urged Liang Shan Bo to visit “his” parents soon to raise the marriage issue. Liang Shan Bo promptly agreed.
A year passed and Liang Shan Bo finally arrived at Zhu Ying Tai residence. He was overwhelmed with joy as he realized Zhu Ying Tai real identity, and also that Zhu Ying Tai was deeply in love with him. The couple’s happiness was short lived, as they learnt that Zhu Ying Tai father had already betrothed Zhu Ying Tai to a rich man.
Liang Shan Bo returns, devastated. He grieved upon the misfortune that had befallen on him and Zhu Ying Tai, and alas, died on his way back home. Zhu Yin Tai, upon learning the died of Liang Shan Bo, made up her mind that since she was not fated to unite with Liang Shan Bo in mortal world, she would do so in the nether world. She pretended to agree to the marriage, given that the marriage procession must pass by Liang Shan Bo grave.
Her request was granted and ill-fated Zhu Ying Tai weeped grievously before Liang Shan Bo grave. Dark clouds gathered and a strong wind began to blow. And as if heaven was abiding by Zhu Ying Tai wish, a stroke of lightning flashed across the sky and the grave cracked open Zhu Ying Tai jumped into the opened grave.
The sky cleared and the gusts of wind ceased. Emerged from the grave were two beautiful butterflies, dancing freely and happily side by side. Once again Liang Shan Bo and Zhu Ying Tai were reunited and never to be separated again.

Observation Of The Day

I have recently been clicking the "next blog" icon to browse other people's blog. I have learned three new things about the world around me.
1. Most blogs are run by free-spirited, youthful, idiotic teenagers or college kids. However, I somewhat knew that before today.
2. It is about the time for midterms throughout universities of America. Man, I don't miss those things, not that I really spent a lot of time studying for them in the first place. I usually ended up playing online poker or pass the pigs instead.
3. If a blog isn't run by an under-aged political advisor, it is run by an equally misinformed voter. I should go through random blogs and see who is voting for whom and check in November to see if that person wins the election. Hmmmm.
This is the observation for the day.

Book Recommendation

I recently finished The Case for Christ. I thought the book was great. It raised many questions that a doubting person may have about Jesus Christ and whether he really did everything the Bible says he did. I was enthralled by the explanations the specific experts gave about Jesus and I am now reading The Case for Faith. I read 60 pages today at work (it was a slow day at T. A. Howard Middle School) and I can't wait to read more of it.
This book is asking eight questions about how we can trust and rely on our faith in God. Lee Strobel, the author of both works, does an excellent job of asking the questions I have asked all my life. I recommend the books to anyone who wishes to learn more about their religious beliefs in Jesus Christ and Christianity or is doubting the validity of Christianity and God.

A Restless Night

I didn't sleep very well last night. I woke up around 3:00 a.m. and couldn't go back to bed. I then found myself waking up at 5:22 a.m. I didn't even know I had fallen asleep. It was that kind of night. Then I woke up again about 6:00 a.m. and had to decide whether to go back to bed for twenty minutes before I had to get up to go to work (ha, it's still funny to use that word) and risk oversleeping or get up and start getting ready. I decided to gamble and wouldn't you know it, the house won. I slept in until 7:08 a.m. I had to rush and get ready to be at the school I was subbing at by 7:30. Luckily I'm a boy and can do that kind of thing.
I have had a headache all day and the kindergarteners aren't helping it. They aren't being bad, they just are disruptive. I would never be a kindergarten teacher. I don't think I would like teaching any elementary grade. They just aren't learning stuff I would be interested in teaching. I want to teach English or history. Maybe even geography and teach about different cultures from around the world. That would be nice.
I watched a movie yesterday that inspired me a little more to want to teach. The name of the movie is Blackboard Jungle. It is an earlier version of Dangerous Minds. I liked the movie a lot. It was made in 1955 and starred a young Sidney Poitier. It was also the first movie to use rock and roll in it. It was a great film that inspired me to want to be a mentor to young adults.
However, being published recently also has stirred me to write again. This blog has always been an outlet for me but it sometimes seems I am writing about nothing. I'll admit, poker stories aren't really great literature. Yet some of the things I have written have been entertaining and thought provoking. Maybe not. Well, hopefully my kids won't be too rambunctious when they get back. I could use a small break from them.

I'm A Real Author

Since graduating in May of 2003 with a journalism degree, I have used my knowledge and ability to write very seldomly. I have edited a few papers for friends and I wrote a remembrance for both of my grandmothers when they died. Other than this, I haven't really expressed myself in the art of writing.
However, a couple of weeks ago I decided to do a film review on one of the many sites I look at for news about my hero James Bond. I critiqued You Only Live Twice, which is the fifth movie in the series. The website told readers they could review the film and if the analysis was good enough they would post it on the film's review page.
I didn't think much of it. I really just wanted to do a little writing and didn't plan on having it published. Yet, as of yesterday, the publishers of mi6.co.uk have printed my review. I am now a published author. Sure, it's a dorky website for Bond fanatics, but I still have a review published on a site based out of England. How cool is that.
Oh yeah, well I don't care what you say. I'm proud of myself. I won't be disgraced by your lack of respect for my accomplishment.
If you would like to read the review here is the link: http://www.mi6.co.uk/sections/movies/yolt_reviews.php3?t=yolt&s=yolt.
I have decided to complete a critique for the next movie On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Hopefully I can get this one published also. Wish me luck.

1st Annual Getting Kicked In The Junk With Pocket Aces Poker Tournament

The following are all rules and information you will need for the tournament James, my roommate, and I are hosting.
The price is $25 and the tournament will begin at 3:00 p.m. Let me repeat that. We will begin at 3:00 p.m. and if you do not arrive on time you will not be in the tournament unless you have already paid your fee to either James, Chad, Clint or myself. If you have a gauranteed seat we will pull your blinds until you arrive.
The payout structure will pay one person for every ten entrants, and paying at least three winners (even if only 29 people show), with first winning about 50% of the pot.
You will begin with $25,000 in chips and the following is the blind structure:
3:00-4:00: $100-200
4:00-5:00: $200-400
5:00-5:10: Break
5:10-6:10: $300-600
6:10-7:10: $400-800
7:10-7:20: Break
7:20-7:50: $500-1,000
7:50-8:20: $600-1,200
8:20-8:50: $700-1,400
8:50-9:20: $800-1,600
9:20-9:30: Break
9:30-10:00: $900-1,800
10:00-10:30: $1,000-2,000
10:30-11:00: $1,500-3,000
11:00-11:30: $2,000-4,000
11:30-11:40: Break
11:40-12:10: $2,500-5,000 with a $200 ante
12:10-12:40: $3,000-6,000 with a $300 ante
12:40-1:10: $3,500-7,000 with a $300 ante
1:10-1:40: $4,000-8,000 with a $400 ante
1:40-1:50: Break
1:50-2:20: $4,500-9,000 with a $400 ante
2:20-2:50: $5,000-10,000 with a $500 ante
2:50-3:20: $6,000-12,000 with a $600 ante
3:20-3:50: $7,000-14,000 with a $700 ante

As people are knocked out of the tournament, we will always have tables with as equal numbers as possible and blinds will only be skipped when necessary. The blinds will either skip or be skipped, depending on the situation. If you would like an explanation of how this works all you have to do is ask and I will tell you.
If you are interested in this tournament, please comment on this blog with your name, phone number and how you heard about this tournament or e-mail James at jamesu2@aol.com. If you would like to gaurantee a seat, let me know so we can get your money and have a place ready for you at the tournament.

F*@% This Game!

I just played in the worst poker game ever. The blind structure was terrible. The players were worse. It was set in the basement of a church. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. The only problem with this game was that I showed up to it. The lesson learned is never go again.

Principles And Principals Complete

As of 11:26 p.m. on October 13, 2004, I am now back in the system at Duff Elementary. Chad and I placed my cement block with handprints and signature in the ground. It looks beautiful and I will go up there at least once a week to observe its graceful presence along the sidewalk. I hope to have a picture taken and place it on this site, but we will see. Hope you can visit my legacy someday.
On a side note, Chad threw me out of a moving vehicle last night. I ripped up my hip and knee but I will live. Chad sped up a hill as I was grabbing some Kerry/Edwards signs and when I jumped in the bed of the truck, some boards I was sitting on began to slide out. I decided jumping and trying to run was better than falling on the boards. I wasn't able to run fast enough and I fell on my face. Luckily my hands took most of the blow. I'll be okay, but I have a slight limp. It was worth it however, because thinking about Clint coming out to look at a Kerry/Edwards sign is extremely funny to me.

Will A Sign In Your Yard Really Change My Political View?

I don't understand why people put presidential ads in their yards. Is it just to let me know you are voting for Bush or am I supposed to jump on your bandwagon? I don't put signs in my front yard except for Yard Sale signs. No one cares.
I really hate the Jones Tax signs. Whether you're for or against a stadium in Arlington is your own business. Nobody cares. Go vote and if someone asks which way you went, then tell them. Otherwise don't share it with anyone.
In my opinion, the only dumber idea than the presidential yard sign is the presidential bumper sticker. Especially the "Don't blame me. I voted for the other guy." Those are just idiotic.
Although I hate those signs as much as I do, Chad and I are going to take Kerry/Edwards signs and start putting them in Clint's yard. We want to see how long this can go until he figures out it is us and threatens to kick our ass. Of course, if Clint still reads my blog then he will find out before we ever put one in his lawn. Oh well, it will be funny to us.

Principles And Principals Update

Back in May I made a special stop at my old elementary school and noticed I had a very unique piece of memorabilia taken away from me. After discussing the situation with administration, I was given permission to replace the specific article with a new one that would be homemade. Well, the time has come.
I believe Chad and I will be breaking ground tonight. We built the formation for my handprint block and layed the cement on Sunday. Other than a shallow "A" in MATT, it looks great. We plan on traveling to the school tonight and digging the hole to plant the cement. If all goes well, I will have my legacy back by tomorrow morning.
If you haven't heard about this story, please go under the May 2004 link to the right and find the title Principles and Principals. It is a funny story and will bring you up to speed about where we are today. Also let me assure everyone I don't necessarily feel that a block of cement is this important. It's that I wasn't told I would no longer be remembered at the school that bothers me so. No letter, no call, no fax to my office (oh, wait). What's up with that? Couldn't I at least get a heads up before I took my little cousin to brag about my legacy.
Oh well, I have been compensated fully and am grateful to the Arlington Independent School District for being extremely understanding and thoughtful, and for giving me a job as a substitute. Thank you AISD!

Poker Entry No. 3

October 9, 2004
Players: 17
Entry Fee: $25
Rebuys: N/A
Place: 3
Winnings: $50

This was an extremely fun game. It was in Weatherford and the guys who played in it were a lot of fun, however not that good. Clint, Chad and I entered the tournament and if Clint hadn't had his pocket A's taken down by A-K it would have been Clint, Chad and myself in the final three.
I made two mistakes, however I salvaged the mistakes by winning one hand and keeping the other mistake to a minimal loss.
First mistake: I limped in with K-5 suited to see a flop. I had about $110 and to limp was $2. I hit two spades on the flop with the highest card on the board being a 9. The first guy, Barry, bet $5. The second guy, named Chad (not our Chad), went all in with another $31. I should have thrown away the hand right there, however I said to myself, I can manage a $36 loss with these guys and be okay. So I decided I wanted to call Chad's bet, however I had Barry behind me. I thought if I go all in also, Barry probably won't call. Nobody, unless they had a great hand would call two all ins. So I pushed all my chips in after thinking about all this in about two minutes time. Barry asked how much more it was to call. Not a good sign. I said $72. He called almost immediately. Well, I'm beat. My tournament is over.
Barry flipped his cards over and said he had an open-ended straight draw. He called two all ins on a straight draw. Wow. Yet I can't complain too much because I called an allin with a flush draw. Chad had A-J of diamonds. He had nothing, yet he was winning at the time. I needed a spade badly. The turn came with a K. Now I'm in the lead with a pair of kings. Chad needed an A that wasn't a spade and Barry needed a Q or a 6, again not a spade. I was happy with my winning hand but I wanted a spade to be sure. The last card was a red 2. I won the hand. It sent me to $250.
Lesson #1: That hand was a miracle for me. It's also what got me to the final table, however I shouldn't have called Chad's all in for that much on a flush draw.
Second mistake: I was dealt pocket J's. The table had four of us at it (and one of those was Chad, our Chad). I raised $25, with blinds being $5-10. One guy, named Joe, just called and the second, Smiley, raised another $20. Not a legal raise, but I didn't say anything. Instead, I raised another $25. Joe called both bets and Smiley called. I'm beat right now by one of them and the other probably has overs (I'm guessing A-K). The flop came with a Q and two under-cards. I'm second to act. Smiley bet $20. I should fold, however now I have pot odds. I call and Joe calls. The next card is a blank. There is no flush draw or feasible straight draw. Smiley bets another $20. Again, I should fold but I called for the pot odds of hitting a Jack or winning the hand, which I'm pretty sure I wouldn't without the third Jack. Joe also called. The last card was another blank. Smiley checked. I knew better than to bet. I checked also. Joe checked out of fear I suppose. I flip over my Jacks not too confidently. Smiley proudly and loudly yells Kings. He had the pocket pair. Joe confidently turns over his Aces and said, "Yes, Aces." Another pocket pair.
Lesson #2: I shouldn't have re-raised. I didn't drive the point I wanted with these guys. They just don't have the skills to understand what a re-raise means. However in hindsight, I wouldn't fold with pocket A's or K's either.
Except for these two mistakes I played very well. The tight, but aggresive play is doing very well for me.

Poker Entry No. 2

October 2, 2004
Players: 13
Entry Fee: $10
Rebuys: N/A
Place: 5
Winnings: $0

This game was at Mike Steed's house. I enjoyed playing with them and had a good time. There were a couple of incredibly stupid people, however we will keep names to ourselves. I only made two mistakes at this game. One was an incredibly stupid mistake. We will start with the second and more crushing mistake.
Second mistake: Two hands before my exit I had very little money and tried bluffing at someone who was a call station. I'm not really sure what I was thinking. I had limped in to see the flop with A-6 offsuit. I didn't hit anything and we both checked it on the flop. I decided to try and win the pot on the turn and he called my bet. I only had $14 left, with blinds being $4-8. I decided to fold when he bet on the river and I went all in two hands later when I was the big blind.
Lesson #1: I shouldn't have bluffed the guy. I knew he would call me.
First mistake: My first mistake was a miscalculated judgment. I had K-J suited and raised $8 when blinds were $1-2. Mike went all in for another $9.50. I didn't want to call and I should have folded it, but I already put $10 in the pot and didn't want to see it go away so easily. In addition, I was the chip leader at our table and could lose another $9 without it being terribly hard hitting.
Lesson #2: I shouldn't have raised so much and I could have gotten away from the hand easier.

Poker Entry No. 1

September 25, 2004
Players: 30
Entry Fee: $30
Rebuys: N/A
Place: 17
Winnings: $0

I played great in this game. I was playing tight, but aggresive. I hadn't lost a showdown for two hours. After a while, I had a lot of table respect. However, I made one mistake that led to two more mistakes.
First mistake: I had 7-8 suited. I had limped in to see a flop. The flop was 5, 6, 10. There were two spades on the board. I didn't have spades. The big blind checked it. I checked. The old man behind me checked. The turn was a Q. Big blind checks. I started to think about my options. I could check and hope to see a free card, however if I didn't get the straight, I was probably going to lose. As I was thinking, the old man behind me wasn't paying attention and thought it was on him. He said check. The dealer asked if he could proceed. I said I hadn't decided what to do. I chose to take a stab at taking the pot down right there. I bet $4,000. This was about four times the amount of the big blind. It also left me with about $15,000. The old man called. I put him on a flush draw. The big blind folded. The last card was a blank. It helped neither of us, if I was correct on his flush draw. I knew he hadn't made his hand, but I was too scared to bet half of my stack, which is about how much it would take to get the guy out if I was correct. I went against my better judgment and didn't bet. He checked also and flipped over A-8 of spades. He was on the flush draw, just like I thought. This burned me up that I went against my first thought.
Lesson #1: Trust your judgement. Your first thought is usually the right move.
Second mistake: I got J-10 offsuit. I usually limp with this hand, but the blinds were $1,000-2,000 and I only had $15,000 left. I also was steaming a bit from the previous hand. I wanted to play it so bad, but I went against my first thought and threw it away. A pair of J would have taken the pot. I was not as upset about this mistake as I was about the first.
Lesson #2: Don't let past hands affect your playing on a new hand.
Third mistake: My final mistake sent me out of the tournament. The guy after the big blind went all in pre-flop. I had a feeling he was pretty confident with his hand. I looked at my cards and saw pocket J's. Usually I am fairly excited when I have pocket J's. It is a good hand and mostly has to be outdrawn with a Q, K or A to be beaten. However, for some unknown reason I wasn't too thrilled about having it. I pondered the call, because the guy went all in with more chips than me (about $7,000) more. I had a feeling I was beat, yet against my better judgment I called. The guy flipped over K's. I had to outdraw the guy and I didn't.
Lesson #3: If you know your beat, and you don't have many outs, fold the hand.
Three times I knew I should do something and I went against that feeling. That is why I lost the tournament.

My Own Personal Poker Notebook

I've decided to keep a journal about my poker tournaments and cash games. However, instead of writing it all down in a notebook, I will put it in here. It will save space and I can just click on the page I am looking for instead of flipping through pages to find some entry I put six months ago.
I would also like to add, this is really for me, so you could possibly be bored. If you aren't into poker, then you might not want to read any entry that has the title "Poker Entry No. __." Yet if you like hearing about my interesting tales at the tables, then I welcome you to read and add any input you may have. But I don't want to begin fights. Don't be an a-hole with your comments.

I've Come About With A Change Of Heart

In the past I have said a few unnecessary and rude comments about George Lucas. I even launched an investigation into how I could bring the man (just the man, not "the Man") down. However, due to recent events I have decided to give the guy a break. Let me explain why.
I believe films are a style of artwork and piece of history. I have blogged about this subject before. While some movies are more beautiful and inspiring pieces of artwork, all deserve to be recorded in books and reference guides for future generations to use as a tool to understand our social views and misunderstood shortcomings.
With that I will also say I am more than moderately passionate about the Star Wars films. These movies established a new genre of film. It was the beginning of the sci-fi action movie. We had sci-fi films like 2001: A Space Odyssey and The Day the Earth Stood Still, but nothing had been seen like Episode IV: A New Hope. George Lucas had created a stunning world full of both humans and aliens living together a long time ago in a supposed galaxy far, far away. His vision was accepted with open arms and has created a cult following rivaled only by Trekkies and newly rediscovered Hobbits.
I have always complained about wanting the original versions of the first three Star Wars movies (Episode IV, V and VI). I still want this. I am not giving up on the vision of owning the original masterpieces on DVD someday, however I have a new hope (see what I did there) that others will come to understand George Lucas' attitude about his films.
This is the first reason for my retraction. They are his films. He can do whatever he wants to them that he pleases. I recently read an interview concerning Lucas and his films at the following website: http://movies.yahoo.com/news/ap/20040915/109528362999.html. It basically says the originals were not perfect. He envisioned a much greater film with much more special effects and graphics. He now has the ability to transform his films to what he originally wanted. However, this is going to bother the majority of the public because we feel he is ruining a masterpiece. What he adds to the films are both impressive and cheesy. The scenes connecting small areas in a city to a grand aerial view of the metropolis are impressive. Yet, then he cancels it out by adding an abominable camel-like creature that looks as if an eight year old stumbled onto the computer and discovered Adobe Illustrator for the first time. George, a CG panoramic view of Mos Eisley, good. A CG Ton Ton, bad.
Although I am still a little bitter about the computer graphics, I really am glad the old movies are finally on DVD. Which leads me to the next reason for my retraction on George Lucas. I bought the four disc DVD pack at Fry's Electronics for $36.99. Best Buy had it for $41.99, as did Amazon.com. Most executives who owned the rights to the most anticipated trilogy DVD pack would list a retail price of at least $59.99. Lucas, however, has shown me he doesn't necessarily care about the money. He wants his vision to be perfect, not a jillion more dollars. He has shown a token of good faith and I will accept it as a peace offering.
George Lucas, I will bow out and let you live in peace. However, if Episode III sucks, like many think it will, I will strike back (I did it again, did you catch it). I hope to someday see the Star Wars originals on DVD, but I will settle for the tainted, but still visually stunning, releases I have recently purchased.

When Will Reality TV Be Realistic?

As a rule of thumb, I try not to watch reality television. I don't believe in it. Personally, I think Ed McMahon going to a person's door is more like reality tv than any survivor or Joe somebody show.
I never really got into The Real World either as a kid. I kind of liked Road Rules, but I still didn't glue myself to the television when it aired. I can never contribute any opinion in a conversation about how kicking Puck out of the house during the San Francisco season changed the show forever.
There are three reasons I don't believe any reality show. The first being they are very far from reality. In The Real World, they are given amazing jobs, an incredible home and no other responsibility. They don't pay rent or bills. They can screw up at their job and won't get fired. Where is this reality? I am close to living this good of a life, but I still have far to go to be like these guys and girls. I would need to move in with a gay guy, a troublemaker, an innocent girl next door who will get laid in the next three months, a girl who is experimenting with her sexuality and a can-do-no-wrong guy with dimples as deep as the Mariana Trench.
How about Survivor? The people who win those shows would never really survive on a deserted island in the South Pacific or the Outback. The winners should be the ex-Navy guys and outdoorsmen (by the way, women can fall under these guy and men examples). Also, when a team runs out of food, is it realistic that a crate of rice just happens to wash up on shore. Come on, where is the reality in this? Tom Hanks got a port-a-potty, not a crate with a gps satelite, flare gun and some food. Don't misundrstand me, I realize Cast Away is not realistic either, but it is much closer than this show.
The second reason I don't like reality television is because the producers lead you in the direction they want you to go. I've learned enough about film and broadcasting to know the editors of shows like Survivor and The Bachelor are cutting and splicing the show for the best possible ratings, not the most accurate display of reality.
In my opinion, a director is not needed for reality tv. A director's responsibility is to provide us with the vision we should see. He begins the cameras rolling and controls the environment for the audience. Reality television shouldn't need any of this. The editor splices the film to manipulate our attitude about Omarosa and her work ethic. In reality television, the cameras should be rolling constantly and the environment is supposed to be natural and not tampered with in any way.
The third and final reason I don't like reality television is because of The Donald. Yes, Mr. Donald Trump has pushed it too far. I haven't been totally honest so far. I have watched a full season of two different reality shows. The first was Joe Millionaire. I wanted to see what the reaction of these women would be when they found out he wasn't rich. I can admit, I was sucked in after the first few episodes, however I never watched the second season and will never watch another season if they ever try that gimmick again. The second show was The Apprentice. I was a huge fan of Troy. I still believe in my heart he should have been given the job.
With only two full seasons and a couple of forced viewings of other shows here and there like The Bachelor and American Idol, I can say with full confidence that Trump has pushed me to never watch reality tv ever again. If anyone watched last weeks task and firing, they will agree that Bradford being fired was the poorest decision making ever executed since Napoleon deciding not to rest for the winter of 1812 on his march through Russia.
Although Bradford did choose unwisely to renege on his exemption, he didn't belong in the board room. If he had been available to choose before the exemption, Ivana wouldn't have even considered the thought of taking him in to be criticized. He had done an exceptional job on both tasks. However, Ivana was stupid and chose him as a possible contestant for firing. Okay, so Ivana made a mistake and Bradford was put in the board room, forgivable. Trump should have given him a pass. He should have said, "Learn from your mistake and lead these women to a win next week." Instead, for ratings and money, he chose to make a spectacle of Bradford. Well, I'm not going to fall for it. I will not continue to watch the circus that Trump is leading and I hope others will join me in this peaceful boycott of The Apprentice.
Although I hate reality tv and will not watch anymore, I understand reality tv is where American television is headed. Everything will soon be reality tv. I would bet sitcoms become reality tv. When will we have great shows like I Love Lucy, Seinfeld, The Honeymooners and Alf again?

I'm Back Baby!

It's official. I now work for the man again. Last Monday I started a three day subbing gig at Williams Elementary in Arlington. My first day was very overwhelming but it was because I had no time to prepare. The second and third days were great. I had everything ready to go and I had gone over the lesson plan in my head the day before.
Except for making one kid named Treyvon cry, I think I did a pretty good job. I am upset to be under the man's thumb again, but I am happy to be a part of society again. If I have learned anything in the last three days, it is this: show respect to those who deserve it, display obedience and ask permission to do certain activities.
I showed my newfound outlook at my home group last night. When my leader asked someone to read, I would raise my hand to get permission to do so. Brandy, a friend of mine who stayed in the singles home group even though she and Danny recently got married, was utterly speechless when she saw how behaved I was being. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.
I can't wait to get another sub job and mold the children's mind, head and brain. It was a great honor to be their teacher.

News Flash: Matt Breaks Down For Dr. Pepper

We all knew I wouldn't make it a week. I was out to eat last night, a Dr. Pepper was ordered for me and I couldn't turn it down. After chugging half of the tall glass of sweet sugar cane, I was completely satisfied with my choice to break down and get back on the hard stuff.
On the up side, my headache is gone and my twitch has subsided. Just kidding about having a twitch. I'm not that bad. Oh well, it's good to be back where I was three days ago.

I'm An Addict

As of yesterday, I decided to clean out the system and get off of Dr. Pepper for a week. I try doing this every so often. Usually it doesn't make it past three days. However, this time I am sticking to my plan. I can beat Dr. Pepper. I can kick the habit.
Yet, I am noticing small side-effects to my state of mind since I got off the hard stuff. I have become more grumpy than usually. I've had a headache and this morning I woke up with a sore throat. This could all be attributed to something else, yet it makes me think without Dr. Pepper, Matt gets angry. Should I break down and go back to the juice or stick to it and fight through the hard times? I hear the first 48 hours are the worst. If I can just make it through the next day I should be okay. We will see. I will let you know how I come out of this.
What I do know is the first sip of a Dr. Pepper on Wednesday will be the sweetest thing I have ever tasted.

Peace Is The Answer

I am assuming my friends have made peace since the Battle of the Blog was a bust. I am hoping everything is okay and we can be the bosom buddies we always have been.
Bosom buddies...what is that supposed to mean? Are we breast friends? Oh well, I am glad we might be back to normal.

Battle Of The Blog

I have recently discovered there is about to be a war on my blog. Chad is going to respond to James' comment and I decided to open this entry up to the Battle of the Blog. I ask only for three things: keep the cussing to a minimum, the nudity to a maximum and only take clean shots.
I want my readers to enjoy what is about to go down, however you guys keep to the topic. Try not to stray to personal matters. Keep it to poker and all that encompasses. Say whatever you like but don't make me censor. I don't want to have to do that.
So without further ado, lets get it on...

Please Help

Help is needed. As we all know, I love playing poker. I play in live games at least twice a week. I'm usually pretty good, but sometimes I go through slumps. Although there are probably more flaws with my game than I realize, one problem I know I have is I go on tilt and lose my composure. Tilt is when you let a bad beat or any other bad thing that happens at a poker game affect your game.
My tilt factor is phenomenal. I can go on tilt for five minutes and lose over half my stack of chips. In the last three card games I have played in, I was the chip leader until it came to heads up play with my cousin Clint, who then proceeded to pound on my beaten and broken self. He has killed me three times in a row. I'm not saying he shouldn't have. Clint is a good player who has improved greatly since reading some of the poker books. However, I do think in three games, I should have won at least one of those games. This is where my tilt problem comes into play.
What I would like is for you to help me figure out how to solve my anger management problem. What should I do to fix my tilt? I can't just sit at the table and not think about it. It drives me nuts when I am the chip leader and then ten minutes later, I have dumped half my chips to the other players. Then I get more mad because of what I've done in the last ten minutes and it never ends after that. What can I do?
Send me comments that will give me advice on how to improve my game. If your advice works, you will be compensated. I promise.

Top Ten Poker Players

I've completed a list of my favorite movies. I will now make a list of my other passion. Poker is not a game of luck. It takes a great amount of skill and obedience. A good poker player must know his opponent and can't take a bad beat personally. The following are, in my opinion, the best or my favorite poker players in the world.

10. Sam Farha:
Many will find this choice a little odd. Let me explain why I have chosen Farha as one of the top ten players. First of all, he is only number ten. He barely made the cut. I think he is a good player but their are a lot of other better players. Although, this is a list of my favorite players, not necessarily the greatest. Secondly, he is an aggressive player who likes to play a lot of hands. He should have won the 2003 World Series of Poker (WSOP), however luck played a factor and Chris Moneymaker stole the title away from Farha. Finally, he is the coolest looking player on Earth. He is a stylish dresser, he is so calm during interviews and he started the greatest trend with the hanging, unlit cigarette. Farha may not win a lot of tournaments but he looks so good playing in them.

9. Amarillo Slim:
Considered to be the greatest proposition bettor there is, he is also a heck of a card player. Amarillo Slim Preston won the 1972 WSOP and has won more money in Pot Limit Omaha and Hold'em games and No-Limit Hold'em. However, where Slim gets most credit is in his crazy and outlandish bets like taking on Bobby Riggs, Wimbeldon champ, in a ping pong game. Yet, Slim got to choose the paddles. He showed up with frying pans and beat the champion. Another peculiar, but profitable, bet was he could drive a golf ball over a mile. He won by hitting it over a frozen lake. My friends and I love making proposition bets and in honor of that, I decided to include Amarillo Slim in this list.

8. Jennifer Harman:
My next claim will probably make a lot of people mad, but I'm going to say it anyway. You don't have too many great female poker players. There are exceptions to this claim, but on the whole they just don't have the same amount of interest or the endurance for it. Jennifer Harman is one of these exceptions. She has learned how to play from experience and she has taught many others how to play through playing a better game than her adversary. Harman is one of the money leaders among women at the WSOP. Like many poker players who make a lot of money but keep a lower profile, she is a cash game specialist and she can regularly be found playing in the biggest live-action game in the world at Bellagio in Las Vegas where she plays up to $3,000-$6,000. Her competitiveness gives her the drive to be one of the best and I predict she will be the first female ever to win the World Series Main Event.

7. Phil Ivey:
Finishing in the top four for three World Poker Tour (WPT) events started Phil Ivey's career off to a sensational start. He finished fourth at Foxwoods, second at Binion's World Poker Open and third at the Bellagio WPT Championship. Ivey, called the Tiger Woods of Poker (probably because he's the only black guy to be seen by anyone at a final table), doesn't think he has reached the pinnacle of his game...yet. He has a great way of reading his opponents and considers each move with the same amount of planning. It is always a shame to see Ivey knocked out because he is the rare young player who has respect for the game, unlike insolent hacks who involve themselves with groups like The Crew.

6. Johnny Chan:
Sometimes I wonder if Johnny Chan really does play poker. Outside of Rounders, a casual poker viewer wouldn't know who Johnny Chan was. He is never at a final table. However, he has recently been put on the Fox Sports Net Poker of Champions. Chan is tied for most WSOP bracelets with an outstanding nine. He achieved back-to-back wins at the WSOP Main Event in 1987 and 1988. I don't necessarily like Johnny Chan, but I can't deny him of a spot on the top ten poker players either.

5. T. J. Cloutier:
Cloutier is a long time player. He has the most tournament wins of every player in the game. He has won over fifty tournaments with a $500 or more buy-in. Cloutier has four WSOP bracelets for wins in 1987, 1994 and 1998. Tom McEvoy has teamed up with Cloutier to write four books. I own Championship No-Limit and Pot Limit Hold'em. Their other books include Championship Hold'em, Championship Omaha and Championship Tournament Practice Hands. Cloutier has stated, "I might not recognize your name, but if I've played with you before I will remember your face and how you play." This is what makes Cloutier the player he is. He has a great memory for how a person will play certain hands and he pays attention to everything that is happening at the table.

4. Phil Hellmuth Jr.:
I complain a lot about this guy, but I have to admit he is a phenomenal player. Hellmuth is called the Poker Brat because he is to poker what John Mcenroe is to tennis. Like Johnny Chan, he holds nine WSOP bracelets. Yet, he has created a scene at every single event he has entered. He is the youngest player to win the WSOP main event. He accomplished this feat at 24. Hellmuth creates drama to the sport. People love to see him blow up and throw a tantrum about some amateur who shouldn't have stayed in with top pair and great kicker. He is so interesting, ESPN has done two features on him during the 2003 and 2004 World Series of Poker. Hellmuth will continue to win and continue to lose. The question is will he do so like a gentleman or like Phil Hellmuth?

3. Daniel Negreanu:
This is the fastest growing poker pro in 2004. Viewers will remember him winning the U.S. Poker Open in 1999, and any poker enthusiast can see Negreanu is a tremendous player with great skill. He placed third at the PokerStars Caribbean Adventure tournament, second at the PartyPoker Million and has created quite a scene at the 2004 WSOP with his many final table appearances. Negreanu has moved up many places in my book and will stay at the top for a while if he keeps up his great playing.

2. Howard Lederer:
The Professor is actually my favorite, however he will be second on this list. This guy is methodical and meticulous. He combines high intellect with extreme competitiveness to produce one of the most revered games in the sport. Lederer won two World Poker Tour titles in 2003 and placed third at the WPT Battle of Champions. Lederer began as a chess master and made the successful switch to poker. What also makes Howard Lederer my favorite poker player is his gentlemanly demeanor. He never whines about how a guy played a hand or if he is outdrawn on the river. He gives respect to the game and I admire him for it.

1. Doyle Brunson:
The man who wrote Super Systems, considered to be the Bible of poker, has to be put as number one. You can't really deny Doyle "Dolly" Brunson the title of best poker player. He has nine WSOP titles (tied with Johnny Chan and Phil Hellmuth Jr.). Two of those titles are from the main events in 1976 and 1977. He was the first to win a million dollars in a tournament. He is the father of poker. One might argue Brunson hasn't made it to a final table in quite a while, however the guy has been playing and winning at poker for over forty years. He is a legend and will always be number one.

I would like to add one last thing. If I was older or I had been into poker at a younger age, I probably would have added Stu Unger to this list. The little I know about Unger I like. He sounds like he was an amazing player who just couldn't handle himself with his money and other bad habits. He holds the record for most World Series of Poker Main Event titles with three. Two of the titles were won back-to-back. I wish I could have seen Unger play today against the young players of the day.
Also, this list would change as players abilities change so don't hold me to this down the road.

Where Have All The Heroes Gone?

I watched Braveheart the other night and after viewing the stirring conclusion with Wallace screaming out "freedom," I was touched. I began to ponder whether we still produce men and women comparable to Wallace. Men used to fight for what they believed in. World War II exhibited teenagers lying about their age so they could fight. Martin Luther King Jr. fought to the death for blacks rights. Where are these men today?
Sure, you have your firefighters and police officers who are newfound heroes after 9/11 and soldiers who risked their lives in the sequel to the Gulf War, but what about those who buck the system to battle the individuals in charge for what they feel is right and virtuous.
Does the hero mentality still exist? Did it end with the Vietnam War? This was a turning point in American history. Not only was it the first war that men stopped volunteering for, but it was vastly rejected by the population. Men didn't want to go fight for something they didn't understand and this mindset has been passed down to their sons. These sons, guys like me, have openly said if the draft was reinstated we would make a run for Canada or Mexico. What a bunch of cowards we are.
Therefore, this leads me to ask again, "Where have all the heroes gone?" Is Michael Moore a hero of the times? Please don't get me wrong, I hate Michael Moore just like you do. Yet, I hate him for different reasons than most. I am upset about his political speech during the 2003 Academy Awards. The Oscars are not a political podium for one to give sermons about our country and its leaders. It is a prestigious awards show. Stick to film speeches. Thank those who got you where you are and get off stage before the music begins to play.
Now back to Moore possibly being a hero. He is a liar and fights dirty, however he is fighting for what he believes in. The target just happens to be our country's leader. You can't praise the man for hard hitting documentaries like Roger and Me and Bowling for Columbine and then ostracize him for Fahrenheit 9/11. I think his tactics are low and his purpose is not heroic, but he believes Bush has acted poorly in office and he has done something about it.
Moore is merely trying to sway the presidential vote in November with his propaganda, but I applaud him for it. No one else had thought to make feature films about presidential candidates until now.
So, is Michael Moore a hero? I doubt it. Yet, if Moore is not a hero, then who is? Who will have movies made about them years from now like William Wallace, King Arthur and Wyatt Earp, making the public aware of their contributions to history and society?
I hope the youth of America will get their act together and stop wasting their time with ridiculous "reality" shows like The Ashlee Simpson Show and The Bachelor and understand they only have one shot to be great and make a difference. Otherwise, life will pass them by and they will realize they missed the most important lesson in life. School isn't about memorizing facts and dates. It is about teaching you to use your brain and think for yourself instead of letting people like Michael Moore spoon feed you what you think you need to know. You have so much information at your fingertips and you are wasting it by looking at porn and MTV all day. Fight for what you believe in and become a hero.

Everyone Loves Lists

I've decided to start making lists. People want to read lists even if they don't care about the topic. They enjoy agreeing and disagreeing with the list maker. My cousin Clint had a blog of lists, however I believe he was banned from listing by his controlling wife (just kidding).
So, this week's topic will be my top ten favorite movies. The following choices may not be the most amazing films, but they are my favorites and the ones I enjoy watching over and over.

10. Goldfinger:
This is the quintessential Bond film. It's the one every other Bond movie is measured up against. It began what is known as the Bond formula. It blends plot, women, cars, gadgets, locations, and over the top action sequences seamlessly. The bond girls are unforgettable. The Aston Martin DB5 makes its first appearance. Oddjob is the first henchman to have an interesting method of killing, which would be copied by others like Jaws and Xenia Onatopp. Goldfinger was the third film in the franchise but it was the first true Bond film.

9. Casino:
This film is great because not only is it a Martin Scorcese film but it's also a Las Vegas movie. Las Vegas is my kind of town, so any movie set in the city limits of Vegas is dear to my heart. Casino shows the seedy side of Vegas. Robert DeNiro is a casino manager for the mafia and Joe Pesci plays DeNiro's friend who comes out to Sin City to help keep things in line. Scorsese shows how they had everything they could ever want and the events that led to the demise of paradise and how Vegas has become what it is today in its family based shows and themed casinos. Accompanied by the perfect soundtrack, this film is definetly a top ten film.

8. My Fair Lady:
"Wouldn't it be loverly?" It was. If the costumes, songs, and premise of this film wasn't enough for you, Audrey Hepburn should be. Her adorable face and irrestible charm lights up this film. Rex Harrison is all but forgotten in every scene alongside her. My Fair Lady was originally a musical adaptation of George Bernard Shaw's play Pygmalion, however when Warner Bros. brought it to film they wisely chose to replace Julie Andrews with Hepburn. Songs like The Rain in Spain and I Could Have Danced All Night stay with the viewer for days afterwards. This is by far the best musical I have ever seen.

7. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid:
If I said this was my favorite western it would be somewhat of a lie. Even though Butch and Sundance were cowboys in the West, this film is far from the standard western movie. Half of the film is set in Bolivia, which is a long ways away from Cowboy and Indian territory. Butch and Sundance, played by Paul Newman and Robert Redford, were bank robbers who ran the Hole in the Wall Gang. This film combines true facts, pleasing fiction and buddy humor to create an acceptable believability of the Old West coming to an end and what the rough and tough lawbreaking men of that time period had to do to survive the transformation throughout society.

6. King Kong:
King Kong (1933) is what basic is all about. It is a stop motion film like the Gumby cartoons and that creepy Rudolph movie. This film launched the career for Kong and he has been reincarnated several times, sometimes as a misunderstood creature who is placed in an uninhabitable landscape and sometimes as a fierce creature who must be stopped with WOMD. My favorite adaptation is the 1933 version with Fay Wray because it is simple and illustrates the creativity Hollywood had to use before computers. However, I am excited for the upcoming version by LOTR director Peter Jackson, who has cast Jack Black.

5. Rounders:
This movie may not have started the poker explosion that has occured today, but it didn't hurt. Rounders is considered by any guy under the age of 25 to be the greatest poker movie ever. However, you have to remember they also have never seen another poker movie except Maverick. The reason I like this movie is obviously because of its poker, but also because of Edward Norton, Matt Damon, John Turturro and John Malkovich. These four men are some of the greatest actors in Hollywood and I consider Edward Norton the greatest actor of my generation. I also think Matt Damon also has his best moment of acting in any of his movies. The instant he hears Worm's voice in the bar with the State Troopers, you can see in his eyes his utter disgust with his friend, but he doesn't show it anywhere else on his face. Poker enthusiasts should definetly see this movie, it is kind of a rite of passage (besides, you can learn the basics of poker from it so we don't have to teach you during a game).

4. Citizen Kane:
Considered by film critics to be the greatest film of all time, it is ranked this not because of its interesting plot or fast paced action, but because of its influence on modern filmmaking. Orson Welles, the director, screenwriter and star, was in his early 20s when he made this film with his Mercury Theatre. His techniques had never been done before and are now standard in film today. Citizen Kane is Welles' fictional tale based off of newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst. Hearst did everything he could to stop this movie from being released, however Welles won and got his movie made his way. To film geeks, it is the most important film to ever be made, but I can also admit to a normal movie goer it can be pretty boring.

3. From Russia With Love:
The film before Goldfinger, From Russia With Love is a true spy movie. Its utilization of fewer gadgets lets Bond use his wits rather than an Omega watch with built-in laser. Bond is targeted by SPECTRE to deliver a Lektor decoding machine and then be killed along with Tatiana Romanova, played by the stunning Daniela Bianchi. There are twists and turns throughout the film which begins during the first Bond pre-title sequence where our hero is hunted down by a homicidal asassin named Donald "Red" Grant. I enjoy this film more than the common Bond formula movie because From Russia With Love is more authentic than any other Bond film.

2. Casablanca:
"Play it again Sam." This is one of the most famous movie quotes of all time and it's not even said in the movie. Rick Blaine is the proprietor of a club in Casablanca. It is a haven for people who wish to acquire exit visas to America. Enter Blaine's lost love Ilsa. The two had a short love affair in Paris at the time of the occupation by Germany. Now, years later, they meet again and must choose between love and country. The chemistry between the hard, brash idealist and the pure, soft spoken love is electric. Bogie is at his finest as a man who was burned by love and Ingrid Bergman plays the torn and conflicted female perfectly. One can see how Casablanca has become the greatest love movie as time goes by.

1. The Godfather:
From the first glimpse of the title being held up by a puppeteer to the final scene of Diane Keaton having the door closed on her to hide a meeting between the other family, you are shown how important family, tradition and honor can be. Marlon Brando is the Godfather. I am fascinated by the mafia. It is one of my favorite topics. They believe in respect and values. They have a code that should not be broken. Francis Ford Coppola deserves every ounce of recognition he is shown for the Corleone trilogy alone (even though Godfather III sucks). As a complete set, it is one of the top three trilogies. On a side note, Godfather II is the only sequel to make the AFI's top 100 films. The Godfather fascinates me and everytime I watch it, I want to start it over and watch it again.

Are Movies A Form Of Art?

This question is like asking, "Is fishing a sport?" Is the guy casting his line constantly and searching for the perfect spot to catch Big Bertha Bass for ESPN8 (the Ocho), or are two guys rowing out into the middle of the pond, opening a beer every six minutes and chugging until they're almost too drunk to row back to their wives who are irate because they didn't paint the shed like they promised they would?
Is Citizen Kane or American Beauty art? Yes. What about Alien vs. Predator or Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow? Absolutely not! The latter films are inane and only comparable to such drivel like a third graders scribbling or Ross' sound effect laden keyboard "music." It is nothing more than entertainment and amusement.
So this brings us to the former films, movies like Lawrence of Arabia, Schindler's List and 2001: A Space Odyssey. These films have artistic vision. The directors used all of their abilities in filmmaking to put together a story with visual spectacle, meaningful dialogue and substance. They brought together cinematographers, actors, composers, editors and many others to try and compose a work of art.
Some of you may agree with this opinion while others might think I have no clue what art is. I will admit, I don't understand artsy fartsy people. Some weirdo copying a Cambell's Soup can onto a canvas shouldn't be categorized with Picasso (although I don't see what the big deal about Picasso is either). I can't comprehend how people can call this kind of thing fine art. They are just odd beings who think they have some higher understanding of life because they see the world through abstract expressionism and eat unusual meals like rumaki.
This has all come up because I got in an argument with my mom the other day about George Lucas updating his movies. I said they are works of art that should not be meddled with. She said I was just complaining on principle. I asked her if it would be okay to update the Mona Lisa to be wearing a tank top and capris and have a laptop plugged in the wall. Tell me if I was wrong to feel this way.
I would like to know what you think. Can film be art or is it all just a distraction that is generic and mass produced by Hollywood to make the most money? Should we the audience be more intune to our sense of taste and class by not supporting such crap like Catwoman or anything involving Keanu Reeves? Please comment so I can get a better understanding of the normal movie goer's psyche.

Oh The Lies We Weave

I have finally found the information I need to bring George Lucas to his knees. While searching the Internet and reading movie news, I found an article about colorizing DVDs of old films and television shows. Sony is releasing The Three Stooges on DVD today with a feature to either watch episodes in black and white or color. There was a section in the article about the colorization of films by Ted Turner in the 1980s and this is part of the article:

Star Wars creator George Lucas, who testified with Steven Spielberg before Congress in the 1980s against colorization and other forms of alteration, said the process yanks such slapstick performers as the Stooges out of the black-and-white universe they belong in.
"Would color distract from their comedy and make it not as funny anymore?" Lucas said. "Maybe just the fact that they're in black and white makes it funny, because their humor is dated. But by putting it in black and white, it puts it in a context where you can appreciate it for what it was.
"But you try to make it in full living color and try to compare it to a Jim Carrey movie, then it's hard for young people to understand. Because you're then thinking you're comparing apples to apples, when you're not. You're comparing apples to oranges. I'm saying it's not fair to the artist."
What happened to this ideal? Why has he changed his outlook on altering original masters? Should someone remind him of his testimony before Congress and America about altering films? Maybe they should, and maybe that someone should be me. This is the proof I needed to get the first edition of Star Wars on DVD.

My Third Rant

It had to happen some time. I wasn't going to be able to hold it in forever. George Lucas has finally pissed me off for the last time. Lucas has pushed me to the decision to e-mail Fox Home Theater and find out why we can't get a version of the Star Wars films that are exactly the same as when they came out in theaters in the 70s and 80s.
Is it too much to ask for the original versions? I don't think so. Does George own the rights to the merchandising of his films? This is the only answer I can come up with. Why not release the originals? He could make even more money from all the geeks and movie idiots (like myself) on multiple purchases.
What set this rant off was I heard some disparaging news from a frequently viewed website about the DVD trilogy of Episode IV-VI coming out on September 21. The following is an excerpt from the site:
But even more exciting (or depressing) information that came out of the convention were the copies of the Star Wars Trilogy DVD Collection (due September 21st, as if you weren't aware) that were making their way around the convention to those in the know, with connections, or sticky fingers. So for those fearing (or hoping) that Lucas would again make extensive changes to the classic first three movies in the saga, you will get your wish. Everything from less readily apparent changes - sound effects to the color of a lightsaber - to more substantive additions, including Ian McDiarmid (the evil Emperor) replacing Clive Revill in The Empire Strikes Back, to Anakin Hayden Christensen's face (badly) added to the body of Sebastian Shaw at the end of Return of the Jedi, or a chorus of cheering Gungians (or whatever those Jar Jar things are called) also tacked on to the finale of Jedi, will be found in the new DVDs. Sigh...but find out for yourself when the set reaches a galaxy near you this fall.
I just don't understand. Why is he ruining one of the greatest trilogies in celluloid history? He's already butchered the two newest films with such mistakes as Jar Jar Binks, Hayden Christensen and overuse of the green screen. Can this guy not go outside and scout a location? At least Peter Jackson used real fields of New Zealand in the Lord of the Rings films.
A director should not be able to change his films permanently. Once it has been shown on the big screen, there should always be an available copy of that particular version. A director could change it for a special DVD release, but the original should also have its own disc. Am I wrong to think this way?
Mark August 5 as the day Matt Cook decided to say, "Damn the man." I am going to take Lucas down and get what I want. If Michael Moore can destroy a president, I can destroy a dork. I don't care if he is Chairman of the Board of Lucasfilm Ltd., LucasArts Entertainment Company LLC, Lucas Digital Ltd. LLC., Lucas Licensing Ltd. and Lucas Learning Ltd. He also owns Skywalker Ranch. The guy is a flannel wearing, grey bearded loser who hasn't changed his look since 1975. I will fight the system and win. I'll call Johnny Cochran. I'll call Erin Brockovich. I'll call whoever can get the job done.
I must stop the evil mongrel from destroying other great films like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and Willow. Please join me in the good fight against the dark side.

An Apology

I want to apologize to my readers. I have been away for a while and have not updated in a very long time. I will try to come up with something soon to write about. Again, I apologize and hope I have not upset anyone.

The Long Way Home

"We have to leave by 8:00 a.m.," was the last comment heard before I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep. At 8:34 a.m. I was pretending to be dead to the world so no one would wake up. I wanted to sleep a little longer. By 8:42 a.m., Chad was beginning to stir. We were on the road not a minute past 9:08 a.m. Not too bad if you ask me.
Our first stop was Hoover Dam. Chad, being the history buff that he is, gave us the dam tour. "The Hoover Dam was built in 1846 by the Comanche Indians." The rest of his tour was bogus.
We were all taken aback by the awesome sight that the Hoover Dam is. If you have not seen this amazing achievement I recommend you do. It is something that should not be passed up. We made our way to the middle of the dam. When we got to a nice spot, Clint began to open the vile that his father was resting in. James asked if anything should be said and Clint immediately rejected the idea.
"Well, here we go," Clint said as he dumped the tube over and let the ashes drift away with the wind. It only took a few seconds for the awkwardness to set in. None of us knew what to say. We never met the guy and Clint didn't want to talk about it. We stood there in silence for about fifteen seconds and then James attempted to get things moving by saying, "So, do you want any pictures?"
After sightseeing for another twenty minutes, we got in the car and started the long journey home. We didn't stop again for anything besides gas or a bathroom until lunch. We ate at an Indian Casino about ten miles outside of Albuquerque. "Did we gamble?" you might ask. Does Clint fold pocket aces? Yes.
Clint also won $20 off of Chad from proposition bets. One wager was Clint couldn't throw a pebble to the highway from about thirty yards away. Mark one for Clint. The second bet was even tougher. From twenty yards away, Clint had to hit a speed limit sign with a rock. Clint nailed it right in the middle of the sign. Chad was at a loss for words. He was even quieter when a police officer pulled up two seconds later asking how we were doing. We gave him the sob story of just left Vegas and it's two in the morning. He left us alone and we were off again.
Not much else happened along the way; however there were a lot of great quotes. I will now record the top 10 quotes of the trip.

10. "I'll see your thousand and raise you your soul." - Chad
9. "He was down by the idiots and I was by the retards." - Clint8. "If I'm sleepy, I'm not driving." - Chad
7. As we passed adobes Clint said, "You white people force us to live in those." I came back with, "Your people lived in those before we were here." "Yeah, but now you force us to live in them and sell fireworks and jewelry." - Clint
6. Clint asked, "Do you know how they told Kristyn Cade might have Down syndrome?" I responded with, "What'd they do, give her a book, Down Syndrome and You?"5. "The Hoover Dam was built in 1846 by the Comanche Indians." - Chad4. "I've got the best way to commit suicide. Fill your pockets with candy. Fill your shirt with candy. Fill your hat with candy. Then jump off a building so when you hit the ground it will look like a big pinata exploded. People will say, 'Someone committed suicide! Oh, a snickers.'" - Chad3. 1:12 p.m. - "All black people steal. Either through affirmative action or just by bum rushing you and stealing your wallet." - Anonymous
1:14 p.m. - As a car with a confederate flag passes us on I-40, "Man, some people are ignorant." - Anonymous2. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless you need a prescription to get rid of it." - BartAnd the winner of the funniest quote is...
1. "I may be the smallest guy at this table, but I will still kick your ass." - Me
This has been the summary of Getting Kicked in the Junk by Vegas 2004. I hope you enjoyed it and I will now return to my usual rants about ignorant people and our hopeless society.

Day Three

To keep these a bit shorter and not bore quite so many of you, I will stick to the basics of what happened on Saturday. After waking up around 11:00, we decided to travel to the north end of the Strip. This portion contains such greats like Treasure Island and The Mirage. It is at The Mirage where we spent most of the day.
Clint, Chad and Bart found a new game they think is glorious. It's called Spanish 21. I'm not quite sure how you lose money at this game. It is an alternate version of blackjack. However, this is where it gets crazy. There are no tens in the deck (but face cards still count as ten) and if you don't like the looks of your double down odds, you can pull it back. Clint fell in love with the game (until the second day he played it).
James and I decided to try poker (the Mirage poker room is the center of the poker world according to the film Rounders). We were put at the same table, right next to each other. By the end of the first two hours, James had mucked a full house and I was on tilt. James had 5's over J's and was called by a guy with the nut flush. James didn't flip his hand over to show what he had. He didn't realize he had the full house until I told him three hands later. James now flips his cards every hand. A tough lesson learned.
I became angry at a hand where I was beat by three Q's and I had three J's. Something you need to know about me is that I get very angry at bad beats and take it personally. I went on tilt and couldn't shake it for the rest of the game. I lost $100 at The Mirage.
Luckily I had another poker tournament at Sam's Town that night. Chad and I were the only two who played in it from our group. The others went back to the hotel room and watched The Girl Next Door. The shameful twins and their mom were in the tournament again. I was at the final table with two of them. When I took one of them out, I leaned over to shake her hand and she would have none of it. How rude is that. She wouldn't even shake my hand.
Chad did much better in the second tournament. His goal was to make it through ten hands. He finished 8th. Good job Chad.
I, however, did not do quite as well as the previous night. I only finished 3rd and won $550. I did prove all you need is a chip and a chair though. I went all-in against a guy and lost. It left we with $1,000 and the blinds were $1,000-2,000. Unfortunately, I was also the small blind. With six people in the game, I tripled up to $3,000, tripled up to $9,000 and then doubled up to $18,000. I then worked my way to the chip leader, but a bad bet cost me a lot of chips. I put $15,000 in the pot and put a guy all-in on a bluff. If I had known that was all he had, I would have only bet about $5,000. This cost me the chip lead and I then finished 3rd.
Afterwards, Chad and I met up with the others at Bellagio and we had a good night wandering the town. After a few hours, we went home and prepared for our last full day in Las Vegas.

Day Two

We had finally made it. A bedroom. Who knew a hotel room could feel this good. Yet, something was wrong with the room. Maybe it was the fact there was only one queen bed and five of us. Maybe it was the plaster board windows with the ongoing blinking of neon outside. It could have been the fact that the room hadn't been refurnished since the World Series of Poker had been started thirty-five years before. It was probably a combination of all of this along with five guys who were cranky and needed some serious sleep. We ordered a rollaway and slept two on the bed, one on the rollaway and two on an air mattress. We had to shift the bed mattress slightly over the air mattress to fit the rollaway.
The feeling of noon woke us and we were ready to begin a full day in Las Vegas (Days don't begin until noon in Las Vegas anyway). We decided that although having a room for $25 a night in the Horseshoe Casino would be super, it was probably best to just go to our hotel room that I had secured through the Hilton employee discount. It would be more expensive, by about two dollars a person, but it was worth it. Chad and I went to the registration desk to pay the bill and we were greeted by a wonderful surprise.
The young man asked, "Was this a comped room?"
Chad answered, "Yeah." This wasn't a lie. It was comped at half price. We didn't know the kid was going to give it to us for free.
"Well, then you are done. Let me validate your parking," he said.
Our first night in Vegas was comped. How excellent was that. You hear stories about people getting comped rooms, but you never expect to get one in your lifetime.
The day was mostly uneventful, however we did play in a $60 tournament that night. The tournament was at a casino called Sam's Town. It is a place that probably was in the middle of nowhere about twenty years ago. It has a casino, hotel, restaurant, lounge and bowling alley. (By the way, Harrah's recently purchased Horseshoe Casino and in Shreveport, Harrah's has moved to the Horseshoe and Sam's Town is now where they used to be.)
All five of us entered the tournament. We ended up with about 48 people in the game. Chad was the first to go out. He didn't even make it to the big blind. Bart was next. Like the whole trip, no one really knows how he did during the game. He just shows up and says how much money he either has won or lost. Clint was looking the best out of all of us at the break. He might have even been close to being chip leader. However, in No-limit Texas Hold'em, things can change rather quickly. In about three hands, Clint went from a lot of money to not much money. He was third to go out of our group.
I had a good chip lead at my table and the guy on my right went all in. It was only another $200 to call (I had probably $5,000). I was pot committed and called. I had 4-5 off suit. He had pocket 9's. He had this one in the bag. The flop came with 7-4-4. The odds of him losing were not great and I actually felt bad for the guy when nothing else came for him. I wasn't supposed to win and it wouldn't have hurt me financially. Yet, luck plays a factor in this game and it was not on his side.
The field was eventually dwindled to ten. We moved to the final table and drew for seats again. James and I were one seat away from each other. James was on the short stack the whole time we were at the final table.
The pay structure looked like this: 1st-$1,000; 2nd-$750; 3rd-$380; 4th-$220; 5th-$100.
Before we started the final table, an older woman, who had a twin at the table with us, asked if we would like to chop it so that everyone got $100. Seeing that I was the chip leader at the table, I was very against this. However, I didn't want to say anything because I was new to all this and didn't know if it was common to chop it like that. James approved the deal very quickly because he was worried he wasn't going to place in the money. After a vote, we decided not to chop it thanks to the guy who was second in chips. He didn't want to and I thanked him for it. The old hag's sister then asked if we could change it to where everyone got at least $50. I was okay with that. They changed the pay structure to resemble this: 1st-$900; 2nd-$700; 3rd-$350; 4th-$170; 5th-$100; 6th-10th-$50.
We began to play some more cards. I was on fire. I was hitting everything. Making good calls. Laying down monster hands. It was wonderful. Player by player, James and I were moving up the ranks. However, James was clinging by just a few chips. He ended up lasting until 5th place. This left me with an older gentleman and the abominable twins. We took a five minute break and I was sweating with anxiety. I was so nervous, I was uncontrollably shaking. When we sat back down, the double mint twins asked if I wanted to chop it a final time.
"This is the last chance," she naggingly said.
"I'm sorry but I don't want to," I replied with frustration. It wasn't fair to make me the scapegoat for not chopping it. I wanted to know how good I was. After about ten minutes I started to wish I had chopped it. I became low on chips from a few bad calls.
I won a lot of them back though in a big hand that knocked out one of the sisters. I had pocket J's. She had 9-10 off suit. I called her all-in bet after the flop, which was Q-4-J. I had trip J's and she was on a straight draw. The turn was a King. She had her straight. I needed a miracle card. The river flipped over and it was a Queen. I had hit a full house. Needless to say, the ice maiden with frosty white hair was not happy. She got up and whispered something to her sister. I think she told her to tear me apart.
It came down to me and her. I was sweating profusely. My shaking had gotten worse by this point. The final hand came quickly after we began heads-up play. Lady luck went all-in and started the stare down. I looked at my cards and saw an A-8 off suit. Not a hand I want to call for all my chips. I asked her to count it down. I would be left with very little. I debated in my mind for what seemed like an eternity. I finally said to myself, "You've made it this far. You have proven that you are good. Call."
I moved my chips in and called her bet. She flipped over Q-9 of clubs. The flop gave me an 8 and nothing else came on the turn or river. I had won my first tournament ever. I was on a high. I gave Clint, Chad and Bart $100 each (we had made a deal that if anyone won the tournament, the others got $100) and I tipped the dealer $60.
We were living large. I had won $900 and we decided to celebrate at Bellagio. While there, we saw Jason Alexander (George on Seinfeld). He was being very friendly with all the fans and generally seemed to care about what they were saying. The day had been good and I was going to enjoy the greatest sleep of my life.

Day One: In Las Vegas

We began gambling at a staple in Vegas. No, it wasn't the Bellagio or Ceaser's Palace. No, not Horseshoe either, although we did end up there. It was a little place called The El Cortez. The El Cortez is down the street from Downtown. It's not even considered a downtown casino. It is bad. I mean really bad. The only reason we started there was because they have three dollar blackjack, which also had the flush bonus bet option (which is when both of your cards are the same suit), and three dollar craps. It is a place of cheap finance.
Bart rolled into town about an hour after we arrived and met us at the El Cortez. I did have an extremely scary conversation with an inebriated man about Texas Hold'em and seven card stud. I wanted to watch a 1-2 stud game to see if it was worth my time in trying out. The man stood next to me and proceeded to teach me how to play the game. For the record, I've been playing seven card stud since I was seven. He told me, with very stinky breath, that true poker players don't share their cards. Hold'em is for youngens who don't know how to play real poker.
"You never share your cards," he said. "Hold'em is just young wanna be's. You never share your cards."
"Yeah, I got it. Don't share your cards," is what I wanted to say. Instead it was more like, "Yeah. Uh-huh. Yep. Okay." And of course, none of my friends are around to save me. Instead, I had to slowly back away while he rambled on about not sharing your cards.
We stayed and gambled for about another hour and then went to Binion's Horseshoe Casino to try out the poker room and see the picture of the winner from the 2004 World Series of Poker.
Chad and I were at one table sitting next to each other. James was at a table by himself. Clint and Bart were at another table. According to Clint, "Bart was down by the idiots and I was by the retards." Clint sat next to a guy who actually vomited on himself at the table.
After about an hour of gambling Clint and Bart had run out of money, Chad decided to quit while he was ahead and I was moved to James table. I only had about $60 when I sat down. Not too long after I got there, a very drunk and beligerent young man decided to grace us with his presence. He was about 300 pounds of pure fat and flab. Don't get me wrong, his arms were the size of tree trunks, but there wasn't much to it. He could have crushed me, but only by actually falling on me. He was immediately hated. He wouldn't shut up, he was obnoxious and he kept saying how great he was. You know, if you're so good, why are you sitting at the cheapest table in the house? Because you suck, that's why. James was the one that actually started the trash talking, but it really escalated when I was in a bad beat with the guy.
Fatso would pre-flop rais everything, and I do mean everything. He pre-flop raised 2-3 offsuit. I flop top pair and he hits two pair. Of course I lost, but it wasn't because I was the bad player. When he flipped over two pair against my jacks with an ace kicker, I was astonished. How could someone pre-flop raise with 2-3 offsuit. I decided to say something.
"You have got to be the worst player at the table to play that," I blurted.
"Is that a fact," he responded.
This was his phrase. He would say this to every comment.
I came back with, "Yes it is. But I'll leave it up to a vote." I chose to let the other players at the table back me up. "By a show of hands, who thinks this guy is the worst player?" I immediately sent my arm sky high.
One guy near James said, "I don't know. That's a bold statement." I was thinking this moron was going to defend the 2-3 offsuit. Then he said, "But I think you are right. He is the worst player here."
Then a little, old man said, "You haven't seen me play yet."
I couldn't help but laugh. "No sir," I said, "You are way better than this guy."
During this humorous exchange, fattie had been messing with James and poking him. After the third prod, James shouted, "Don't f*#%ing touch me again."
The guy got defensive and asked what James was going to do about it. James told him he would take him outside. The guy told him he would tear James apart. Then, in Bart's finest hour, he leaned in from behind both of them and said, "You're not going to do a thing." I was more proud of him then than I have ever been.
After the hand was over I only had about $25 left and I was on tilt (big surprise). I told everyone the next big hand I get I am going all-in. It just so happened it was the next hand. Flabby raised pre-flop (of course) and about three people called, including me. It ended up with James winning the pot, thank goodness. Everyone was pissed at Stay-Puffed and I had lost all my money. James began putting his chips up to leave so we could go to our room.
During all of this Chad had gotten a room comped for half-price at the Horseshoe. We had decided we couldn't stay up all night. We were going to head up to the nice room and crash for the evening.
I began to stand up and Fattie Fatterson said something about how I was out of chips. I couldn't hold it in anymore. There is only so much one man can take. I looked at him with the darkest eyes I could muster and I firmly and deliberately spoke these words.
"I may be the smallest guy at this table, but I will still kick your ass."
I got up, left the table and heard his overstated question, "Is that a fact?" James left to go cash in and Chad was helping him. Bart, Chad, James and I were ready to rumble. However, Clint was not completely on board with us. He decided to do damage control. He talked the guy down and met us by the exit. We ended up not fighting, but we were ready to. There is nothing like having a story about the first night in Vegas and getting into a brawl. As we left to get the car, a guy called us a crew. I've been waiting for that my whole life. We were a crew. How cool is that? We then got the car and went to the room. End of day one, or is it...

Day One Continued

Our story continues with four exhausted young men cruising down I-40 through Alburquerque. We were running behind the schedule, so James said we could only have 23 minutes for lunch. This was a huge cut from the hour lunch we had been promised three days earlier.
We decided to stop at the evil empire of restaurants, better known as McDonald's. I call McDonald's this because first of all they did away with the supersize deal. That was a good deal. What was wrong with it? Because people are fat. That's not McDonald's fault, now is it. The second reason they are the evil empire is because they only care about money, like most big businesses. Sure, they give money to charities, like that Ronald McDonald house (except has anyone ever actually seen where this guy lives, I don't think it exists). They only give to charities to look good to the general public.
Let me give an example of their wickedness. While at this McD's, an old lady asked for an empty cup to make a rootbeer float out of. She had ordered ice cream and was going to put it in the cup and fill it up with rootbeer. The manager told her she couldn't do that. She would have to pay for a cup. Can you believe that? It's a piece of cardboard that costs them seven cents to manufacture. Give the lady a cup for goodness sakes.
I was so astonished and disgusted at this display of poor customer service and greed that I decided to do something about it. I stepped right into the men's room, did my business (number 1) and then proceeded to break the urinal by flushing it. That's right. I showed them. It started overflowing and didn't stop. That is street justice.
Actually, I felt really bad when that happened because then Pedro had to come mop it up. Sorry Pedro, my bad.
I also might add Clint got a good view of all this from the stall. He was trying to clean out the pipes, but he had plumbing problems for about three days straight.
After lunch we decided to have another go at horse racing. Chad was unstoppable. I tried to bring myself luck when he was rolling by rubbing the Buddha. That is what I call it when I start rubbing Chad's belly and willing him to lose. It kind of creeps him out, but this time it wasn't doing anything. Chad couldn't lose. I at one time owed him five dollars (betting fifty cents a horse). We had a double or nothing bet and when my single horse of seven only needed one more square to his two, six, eight, eleven, and twelve horse only needing one square, I decided to up the ante. If one of his horses won, I owed him twelve. If my horse pulled it off, he would owe me five dollars. I was rolling the dice. I threw them into the cardboard box. Tensions were high. Every eye (even the drivers) was on what would fall. Then one of the dice didn't make it into the box. I immediately erupted with, "no roll, no roll!" So we rolled again. It was a six, sad. I lost again and that is when I gave up horse racing for a whole hour.
During that hour Clint and I got into a discussion about Indians. Clint is himself part Indian. As we passed a small community of adobes, Clint made sure it was his job to inform us that his people are forced to live in the small clay cubicles.
I felt it was necessary to point out that Indians lived in adobes before the white man even came to America. Clint responded with, "Yeah, but now you force us to live in them and sell jewelry and fireworks."
Since we were running behind the schedule, Chad opted to catch up to the clock. However his method was not without flaws. He would try and speed up to faster travelers by slamming down the gas peddle and power accelerating down the highway. You could actually feel how fast the gas was being pumped into the engine. Chad would find one way or another to stop every 45 minutes. Either bathroom breaks or power accelerating the gas tank empty.
We finally entered Las Vegas, right on time too. Exactly 19 hours after leaving, we were worn out and in need of a good shower. Yet, it was time to start gambling. While traveling down the strip, a car full of young women were checking us out (Clint thinks they were only looking at him though). They honked at us and wanted us to follow them, but Clint would have none of it. Even despite James' nagging about how he needed this. We were on a mission: to kick Vegas in the junk. Our tale will continue here.

Day One of Getting Kicked In the Junk 2004

Even before sunrise, I could hear James on the phone with Clint. "Is Chad there yet?" A short pause and then, "Well we got to get going, we have a schedule to keep."
The schedule. It was a vicious, unforgiving thing. We lived by the schedule and we died by the schedule. James' schedule was down to the last detail. Eat lunch for an hour in Albuquerque and end up in Las Vegas 19 hours after we left. However, things didn't start off smoothly.
While driving down 180 (Division), we were about to get onto 820 and Clint remembered something very important...our fifth passenger. Yes, this was a road trip for five going out and four coming back. We were going to take a small plastic test tube full of the ashes of Clint's dad. Clint wanted to spread the remains of his father out on the open road. This delayed the trip 20 minutes, but everyone was okay with it because of the circumstances.
In Amarillo we saw a glimpse of the cadillac ranch. That was a big highlight considering there is nothing in west Texas. To pass the time during the depressing and bleak drive through flat nothingness, Chad brought along home-made horse racing. The rules of the game are simple. You roll two dice and whatever number comes up, that horse moves up one space. To win the race, a horse must move a certain number of times. For the number two and twelve, it is only two. For seven it is six times. We would bet fifty cents on a horse. The pot eventually got up to $20. Chad finally won that session.
Afterward, we discussed where to spread the ashes that were sitting in the middle console like nothing more than a garage door opener or a lighter. We narrowed it down to two possible options. Either in the desert of New Mexico, which is where he lived, or over the side of Hoover Dam. After listing the pros and cons of each burial site, we still didn't know which location was more beneficial to the dearly departed. So, we let fate make the decision for us. We let the dice have the choice. If it was an even number, Hoover Dam. If it was an odd, New Mexico. I shook it up in my palm, gave Clint a last glance to make sure he was ready and I then let it fly. It spun around for what seemed like a mile (on a road trip, time is measured in distance traveled, not by a watch or clock). Finally, it stopped. The small cube revealed two white dots. An even number. Hoover Dam it was.
Once this choice was over with, there was an abnormal and ackward silence in the car. No one knew what to say. So I decided to listen to a cd that was given to me by Joanna. The title was Viva Las Vegas 2004.
I was on the first song and James asked me, "What are you listening to?"
"A cd Joanna made for me," I answered.
"What does it have on it?"
"I'm only on the first song," I said.
"Well, what is it?"
"The Sopranos theme song."
Immediately Clint and Chad sat up. "Oh yeah," they all said. "Let's listen to it."
So we put the cd in. The following is the list of the songs: 1. Soprano's Theme Song, 2. Viva Las Vegas, 3. The Gambler, 4. a country song about chasing the wind and cowboys like us, 5. Danke Shoen, 6. Bare Naked Ladies poker song, 7. Pat Green song about Texas, 8. On the Road Again, 9. Everybody Loves Somebody, 10. My Way and 11. Come Away With Me.
Everyone was getting into the music. In fact, by song seven, we thought it was the greatest cd ever arranged by a girlfriend. However, by the time Dean Martin came around, you could tell 3/4 of the audience were starting to lose interest. Once the cd was over, we all decided that they should have stopped listening at about track nine. I love the whole cd and I haven't taken it out of my cd player yet.
By this time we rolled into Alburquerque and were ready to eat lunch. I will continue with day one in my next entry.

Getting Kicked In The Junk By Vegas 2004 In Review

We did it. We drove to Las Vegas, stayed four days, and didn't pay for a single night in a hotel room. This feat has been tried before and few, if any, have succeeded. This is just one tale of what occurred at Getting Kicked in the Junk by Vegas 2004. Over the next few days I will be telling many stories of what happened in Sin City. I will be breaking the cardinal rule of Vegas though. That rule is: what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Unless you need a prescription to get rid of it. Oh, I don't want to divulge any more yet. You will just have to wait. Until next time...

Applause Has Become A Mockery

Has the status of applauding diminished so much that anything can deserve an applause and standing ovations mean nothing more than good job? Is it just America that insults the applause or has all of society lowered the standards of the standing ovation? I have observed this trend over the last few years and feel it must be stopped. Let me remind you of what is and what is not deserving of praise by clapping.
Let us begin with live performances. This is very deserving of applause. The people that perform before a live audience earn the glorification they recieve. They train and practice for months to get one performance right. Anything can go wrong and there are no corrections for mistakes. The entertainers I am referring to are the following types: musicians (both vocal and instrumental), stage actors, dancers, athletes and public speakers. They are to be applauded at the completion of a magnificent achievement, such as a complicated musical number or the setting of a record.
However, these men and women are only worthy of standing ovations if what they have done can be considered truly spectacular. If it is anything less, clapping is what should be given. It can be clapping that lasts an hour and a half, but no one should stand. The standing ovation is the apex of applause. If it is given out like it is now, the meaning behind it will depreciate.
I went to see Jerry Seinfeld perform a few months ago, and when the audience saw him step out on stage, they erupted and flew out of their seats. The applause that ensued was tremendous. He hadn't done anything yet. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Seinfeld. I love his show. I own his book, DVD and CD. He is a comic genius. Yet, does he deserve a standing ovation for stepping on stage? No. Save it for the end of the performance because he will definetly deserve it then.
Moving on to recorded performances. What I mean by this is a movie. What I have noticed lately is people are beginning to give rounds of applause at the rolling of the credits in a movie theater. Why are you doing this? Who are you clapping to? The actors can't hear you. The producers aren't there. Are you applauding the AMC employees for switching the reels so well? Way to flip that switch at the second cigarette burn (If you don't know what a cigarette burn is, watch Fight Club).
Here is why you don't applaude a film. Because they didn't get it right the first time. The director says action for each scene at least four times. The actor can correct any missed cue or forgotten line. The editor takes the best footage out of eighteen takes and splices it together. A movie is a collection of great scenes that were taken many times to get just right.
The way to show you enjoy a movie is to buy another ticket and watch it again. They rate the success of a film by money. Cash is what fuels Hollywood. It's all they think about. They don't care if you are cheering at the end of the movie. They want you to go to the local toy store and buy the new Tickle Me Spidey that has been made to coincide with Spiderman 2.
Here is what I am saying. Don't clap for a movie. It is retarded. No one can hear you except me. And frankly, it pisses me off. You're a moron if you applaude a movie. So stop doing it. Also, don't give everything a standing ovation. This will just give people who aren't deserving bragging rights to something they shouldn't have earned. They will pull a Reuben. (James got that)

Getting Kicked In The Junk By Vegas 2004 Update

It is only a week until we depart for Las Vegas. Woo-hoo. I am getting very excited. This trip could end up being the greatest road trip since Joseph and Mary tried staying at an inn without a reservation and she ended up going through labor in the barn. On the other hand, the four of us may never talk to each other after the 18-hour drive back to Arlington. Who knows? That's what makes it so thrilling.
I am also looking forward to this trip because I get to see my brother. He and I don't always get along, but I enjoy seeing him and I think we can be nice for the better of the trip.
Well, we have endured all the hitches I think there are going to be. The only snag I could see occurring would be Chad getting a job with Wells Fargo and not being able to go. Wait, what am I saying. Oh...that was good. I needed a good laugh for the day.
Even with the loss of Clint's dog, Boon, he will still be able to afford the trip. Everything is in place. All the wives and other legal guardians have given the okay and we are ready to hit the road. If anyone has good road trip music suggestions, please let me know. We get to take four cds each. I haven't decided what music to bring. I might put the boys through hell and make them listen to Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra the whole time. James would enjoy it, but Clint and Chad would probably shoot themselves by disc two and leave their dead carcasses in the desert for the buzzards to devour.
Best road trip ever!